"I am Adam Lanza's mother"

reply to post by Neopan100

THANK YOU! I see others surfacing that have common sense..I didn't know ANYONE growing up that would have said that to anyone..My parents would have striped my butt..then they would have probably let ol' granny have a switch at it too. I don't remember seeing these types of people with this horrendous behavior..others will say it's because they were kept home or locked up...I say GOOD...

I see another person who doesn't understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Also, they don't seem to understand how trying to understand someone is better than simply mistreating them until they do what you want. Understanding someone makes it easier to teach them more effectively. From what I can see, though, teaching isn't what you're aiming for.

"Do what I want or I'll hit you" isn't exactly an effective method. One day, that kid might be big enough to turn around and pop you instead, because that's all you taught him.

reply to post by AfterInfinity


Just so you know..I have two children and I have NEVER spanked them..again..twisting of words..I've never had to spank them..because I took time...I stay at home to raise them...I've taught them about respecting themselves and others..see that's my point....THAT is my point! I totally agree with you! START parenting..if you can't or don't want to then quit breeding them--if you already have them turn them over to someone that will. You know my sister has a 13 year old..mainly good kid..has some issues but not mentally unstable. He has outburst and fits with her and only when he is with her..not his dad...WHY because she is the worlds worst parent. She is so consumed with herself...she would rather buy smokes and booze then to buy xmas presents or spend time with them when they are here...I notice she tries to work a double shift when they come home...I dislike her..my other sister dislike her..we have cornered her and told her straight up that she is a #ty parent and should give full custody to her dh. The kid doesn't have mental disorder...he has a $hitty a$$ mom...she is getting what she deserves. I feel for them but try to distance myself from their mess. I can't fix stupid and don't claim too..either parent your kids from young or don't try to label them when they are teens and acting out...

If the parents would actually be parents from the get go..they probably wouldn't have to use this type of punishment. duh. that was the point..but yes..I would take a strong hand to anyone that called me that..total lack of respect--step out of line and I will put you back..how would anyone know how to teach respect if they haven't even a slightest inkling of respect for themselves..and we're back to bad parenting...ding...ding...ding...

Seems some people did not read the article. Discipline is not a way to handle mental illness these kids need help and this story highlights perfectly how to get help in the U.S. and that's to have your kids put in the system, which is totally wrong way of handling things.

reply to post by SpaceJockey1


There is already a link to that HERE

It was originally posted by prplheart.

What happened to good parenting? Why all these problem kids? I have two and both, although they have their moments, are great kids and I have never had to deal with any kind of behavorial issue at all. I am sure if they were to see a psyche "something" they would be diagnosed ad given meds for something, probably ADD as they are young and active and have energy to burn. I don't give them soda or much candy at all. I don't douse them with sugar overload like so many other parents might. I understand too much sugar makes them unruly and crazy. I lay down fair, agreeable and effective rules.

Point is... parents need to step up and stop placing the blame and thinking that the system will cure their disobedient child. Give them love, support, guidance and be fair and equitable. This works wonders... Try it!

My kids love and believe in God as best as they can. Maybe this has helped iron out potential behavorial deficiencies and I went light on vaccinations, so no autism here.

Best of luck and peace to you all.

reply to post by AuntB





Just an observation, long story short briefly


I was brought up when 'the terrible twos' did not exist...menstruation was a normal
function and you just got on with things...cramp, head aches, moods, just did not exist,
you wore school uniforms and observered school rules. Teens may have been a bit
'stroppy' (but that was put down to transition from child to adult) and not raging
hormones. In fact you were part of the world and not the centre of it!

My two daughters had a daughter each, one of them brought her's up (as above) in much
the same way as she was...and she is now a lovely girl on the thresh hold of adult hood,
her teachers are very fond of her, and her head teacher has told her mother that he is very
impressed by the couple of occassions where she has gone to him and 'discussed'
situations which she has considered unfair, and amicable conclusions have ben reached.
She has raised a large sum of money by herself to give her the opportunity of going
to do charity work in a third world country...and can't wait to start her first job.

The other daughter's daughter was brought up with everything having to be minutely
explained and re explained in detail . And she went through 'the terrible twos,' 'the
traumatic threes,' 'the frazzled fours'...she took two terms to settle into school.
She has time off 'every month' raging hormones...is on meds because she can't cope when
life dosen't revolve around her! She only kept her first job for two weeks - because it was
too much like hard work. She is anti social, moody and has difficulty in mixing (which
her mother attributes to hormones )

Hmmm...makes one wonder, Is it nature or the type of nuturing ??

I know what i think...

This is going to sound very harsh, but I think we all do to much sugar coating and "political correctness" these days.

What are these mentally ill people going to contribute to society? How can we make these people productive members?

We need to solve the mental health issue, or at least address it head on.

Sure, you can medicate the crap out of these kids -- but what happens when they miss a dose? What happens when the medication slowly starts to loose it's effectiveness over time?

Can we lock them away? I doubt many of these mothers and fathers would want that. What quality of life is that child going to have? Most likley the child will be sedated and in and out of hospitals until they die.

I know everyone hates the idea and term "eugenics" -- but perhaps we now have the scientific knowledge to determine if a child is going to come out a mentally challanged monster before birth. Perhaps we can use retro-virus's to correct genetic disorders?

Terminating any kind of pregnancy is pretty much a hot-button issue and probably "off the table" for most of these families. I mean, it's their precious little monster!

Eventually we as a society are going to need to face the fact that not everyone was intended to live. In the animal kingdom only the strongest offspring make it to adulthood. In our species, we have circumvented mother nature and now allow people with all kinds of genetic mutations to flourish.

Something as simple as a peanut allergy would have killed a child 200 years ago. As a species, our gene pool is becoming more and more dilluted as we cheat nature.

Is it God's plan to stick tubes and medicate the crap out of a barley surviving newborn, only for it to have a miserable quality of life later on? Is that God's love? Is that how God intended nature to work? If so, that's a God that I want to have no part of. I refuse to believe that any "God" that created us intended for malformed and genetically deficient monsters to be born into a miserable life of suffering.

If you are against cloning and genetic manipulation, you should also be against mankind's interferance with the natural birthing process of the human species.

It would be incredbily hard to conciously loose a child because of it's viability, but by letting nature take it's course -- I think that is truly following "God's Plan".

reply to post by MystikMushroom


The idea that only healthy members of society should survive because they can contribute, died with the Spartans.

Catch up, by a few centuries.

Taking care of those less fortunate than us is what seperates us from the animals.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by MystikMushroom

 

Taking care of those less fortunate than us is what seperates us from the animals.

Are we really taking care of these people? Are we? Do you call medicating the crap out of them and strapping them to tables "taking care"? How about throwing them in mental hospitals with horrible oversight and conditions -- is that really being compassionate?

I say no. I say that this just helps us clear our concious, and shoves the problem out of sight so we can move on and forget that these people exist.

I think that the way we are going about treating and taking care of these people currently is less humane than letting nature take it's course.

Originally posted by Neopan100
Already tiring of this "mental illness" crap..it sounds like that kids needs some serious discipline! If it were my child I would calmly lay down the rules and then the consequences..and the consequences WOULD not be taking away electronics..it would be a one way ticket to military type school where his a$$ would learn some respect.

Sorry but I find a lot of 'mental illness' to be complete and utter BS! Parents seem to be lacking parental skills.

So many stars for such an ignorant post. Unbelievable.

Mental illness is not the result of bad parenting.

How are mentally disturbed young men being identified and set up to be the patsy in domestic covert actions designed for 'problem-reaction-solution' programming of lawmakers and the general public in order to further the 'New World Order' agenda?

Early reports from Sandy Hook mentioned two or multiple shooters involved. This was reduced to one 'lone nut' as was the case in Aurora and many, many cases going all the way back to the original 'lone nut' in modern history: Lee Harvey Oswald.

Covert actions are usually set up in ways that one 'lone nut' (who fits the profile) is blamed and then it's an open and quickly shut case, case closed. This m.o. has been done successfully for years, RFK hit, MLK hit, mass shootings, John Lennon hit, you name it. As soon as lawmakers and the public are satisfied that the 'lone nut' in the media did it all by his lonesome, the secret agenda moves forward. Even in the case of 9/11, Osama bin Laden emerged quickly as the media's 'lone nut' just as Saddam Hussein had been the 'lone nut' who gave the USA 'no choice' but to invade Iraq and in so doing make the military-industrial complex and defense contractors much wealthier in the process.

I don't have any evidence that Sandy Hook was a covert op. But I do not rule it out, seeing as there is now such a big push to ban at least some types of firearms.

reply to post by AwakeinNM


I agree that no ammount of parenting can "correct" the behavior of some of these kids.

Some of these kids can't even speak. Many can, but live in their own worlds. They don't have the same kind of brain chemistry and wiring to know right from wrong. To them, torturing a toad is "just for fun", wheras most people would find it downright dispicable.

Is it all genetic? Is it the vaccines? Is the pollution? Is it our food?

These are the questions we need to be answering. Once we've started getting anwsers on HOW the mental disorders are formed, we can figure out where to go from there.

No one wants that though, no one wants to take responsibility. It's far to easy to just inject them with thorazine and strap them to tables, or lock them away. IMO that is a horrible way to deal with a problem that is growing larger every day.

Look, we either need to use our advanced technology to sort this out and give these people a decent "human" quality of life -- or we need to let nature take it's course. What we are doing right now in the mental health industry is shamefull, and we need to get off the fence.

We need to buck up and come together to find the causes and cures, or we need to let "God" decide the viability of these people's lives. Harsh? Yes, but I think it's the more humane approach.

Originally posted by SpaceJockey1
“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

Conform or be labeled mentally ill. That's what it comes down to. You oppose gun control? Then you support the murder of innocent children. Do as I say or become my enemy.

I have many kids I know around me whose parents claim they have mental illness because the Dr. says so. Dr.'s these days are pill pushers in my honest opinion and I do not trust the diagnosis... there are just TOO MANY kids these days that seem to be normal to me yet there parents want an easy way out.

Babysitter is electronics, there is zero discipline in the home, and they allow their kids to rule the roost.

I have a friend who has a four year old with "aspergers" (sp?). His parents cater to his every desire. He is not disciplined and is a hand full. He seems "normal" in every aspect but his parents do not.

I know there are many people with issues mentally and need a balance but come on..... everyone should know by now there are tons more who are normal, yet with each woe there is a pill made for it.

Parents could raise their kids, beat their butt, set rules and boundaries and be consistent with them. Make them play outside with other kids instead of a game where reality is not had and the child does not develop socially.

This shooter in CT was socially awkward? I do not doubt it a bit. There are many like him today.

reply to post by MystikMushroom


I posted almost the same thing in another place and was viciously attacked..but I couldn't agree more. Hopefully, in the future science will sort this out..either by not allowing certain people have these types of children or fixing the problem through gene manipulation. I hope we can fix this through gene manipulation..

reply to post by The Cusp


It's not conforming! We have general rules as a society. Places and people have rules..you think you can walk in to a school dressed like a bum..go to work like this? The school has a dress code..if he doesn't like that then maybe they should be discussing other places for education...Just because people can't always have their way doesn't mean they're mentally ill..it sounds like he doesn't like the rules and is being a brat. He must think he is the center of the universe and doesn't have to abide by rules..tough times are ahead for him..but one of these days he'll be forced to wear bright orange..bet then he will wish he had just put on the correct pants.

reply to post by SpaceJockey1


My son, when he was 15, hit a depressive stage in his life. As a depressive myself, I recognized the signs and took him to see our doctor who put him on 100 mgs of a heavy anti-depressant. From then until he reached 18 things just got worse and worse. I am on a lot of tablets for various illnesses - he stole these and attempted overdoses. I began to carry my tablets around in a bag on my person at all times. Even then, at night-time, he would sneak into my room and steal the tablets. He was continually angry to the point where his two younger sisters and I were terrified of him. He self-harmed many times and I had to take him to hospital too many times to count. One afternoon, he attempted to hang himself in a local park and would have succeeded but for two men who saw what he was doing and stopped him.

I took him for psychiatric help. One time I was telling the psychiatrist how my son had decided to go for an early morning walk (3am) through one of the most violent places of Belfast where we lived at the time. The psychiatrist's response was 'What would someone in his right mind be doing walking up there?' (quote, unquote) Still, nothing helped. He was put on various other anti-depressants which helped for a short time but always that angry young man would surface eventually. I got to the stage where I was actually fearing for my life as he threatened me with a knife more than once.

I moved the family out of Belfast to the country and the final straw was when my son got into an argument with my partner. My son grabbed a plank of wood and was standing over my partner threatening to 'kick his head in'. My son was 18 then and I phoned the police. My son ran off and contacted Social Services himself and got himself placed into a hostel. Since then he has calmed down immensely. Today at 23, he has got himself a job and has settled down with a g/friend and a baby on the way. Thank God.

I understand the fear of having a mentally ill child under my care. I understand the pain involved with seeing your child trying to slit his wrists or having just taken an overdose. I understand the terror involved when you're mentally ill child holds a knife to your throat. I understand the feeling of helplessness that overtakes a person as you watch your child spiral out of control. Thankfully, for us, we survived those few years. Mental illness is not a joke, it is not a label you place on a disruptive child - it is a very real, very scary experience. I am thankful we survived and heartbroken for those that don't survive. Thanks for reading.

reply to post by SpaceJockey1


With all respect to those affected by this tragedy,

I'm curious to know if 'Michael' exhibits his more extreme behavior only towards his mother, or also towards others.

If only towards his mother, then this could be a deep trauma playing itself out between him and her. Mother and son. I have 3 sons and their relationship with their mother is totally unique for each of them. Same goes the other way around. She has her favorite, and so do I (and they're not the same one).

The relationship Adam Lanza allegedly had with his mother could be a similar situation. I read that she changed careers in order to be with her son. I also read that she was upset about him not giving her affection (not saying that these things are not understandable. just taking them into account). And of course I read about her extravagant gun collection and prepping activities. In my view, that's a bit paranoid. I never understood why so many of these people want SO MANY guns. If I was paranoid and thought I needed a gun to survive on this planet, I would just get one good one. That way, I would really get to know that gun and it would be like a second skin. How are you gonna carry 6 different guns and all that ammunition??? Anyways, if these are all facts about Mrs. Lanza, then there is definitely a possibility that this is one of those possessive mother/son relationships. Adam saw no way out of that, no future, and snapped.

It could of course just be that Adam Lanza had a mental disability and that he had a wonderful mother who just happened to have a gun collection for a hobby.

Just speculating, of course.

soulwaxer

Originally posted by Neopan100
Already tiring of this "mental illness" crap..it sounds like that kids needs some serious discipline! If it were my child I would calmly lay down the rules and then the consequences..and the consequences WOULD not be taking away electronics..it would be a one way ticket to military type school where his a$$ would learn some respect.

Sorry but I find a lot of 'mental illness' to be complete and utter BS! Parents seem to be lacking parental skills.

That reminds me of the movie Full Metal Jacket

Sure send the kid into the military. And now you have a fully trained mentally ill person who's "ass" learned the kind of authority only an AR15 provides...

reply to post by Neopan100


I disagree. Mental illness or depression is a serious problem, not to be taken lightly.


Regardless, this is bull# because mother Lanza, had she been like this mother and aware he had serious issues, should not have had guns in her house. She bought the damn guns. Kept them around her unstable son. Took him out for target practice. Taught him how to use them. They were obviously accessible to him. Hopefully this woman who seems to think she knows everything about mental issues doesn't buy guns so we have another incident.