No more blind dates!!!!! EVER!!!!

So I guess since it's the holiday season. the majority of my well meaning married friends have decided to make it their goal in life to find me a man. This has lead to not 1, not 2, but 4!! COUNT THEM 4!!!!! Of the worst possible dates I have ever been on in my entire life. I understand that my friends thought they were doing me favors, and I could have said no, But I really thought that even if a romantic relationship didn't evolve I could at least met some new people and make some friends........ couldn't have been more wrong, maybe it's me???? I have to admit, my heart wasn't really in it, I went into each and every encounter with an open mind only to be called names, ignored, talked down too and basically treated like they were doing me a favor " awww poor lonely single mom can't find a boyfriend, maybe if I take her out to dinner I can get laid!!" I guess I under estimated just how much the dating world has changed since I was last in it 6 yrs ago at the ripe old age of 20 lol. I'm just so over it!!! I haven't been looking for anyone special, I don't really feel like there's a void in my life that needs to filled. My son isn't hurting by my not having a man in my life, he has my dad and brother to look up to and learn from, and both of them are about as good of men as anyone could ever hope to have a role models for their kids. I will never go on a blind date again, thanks for reading my rant I feel much better have a great day!!!!

reply to post by RN311


meet me for coffee after work?

reply to post by RN311


If your friends haven't taken the time to get to know you. Chances are they didn't take the time to get to know your blind date. Thus they are not match makers and never will be.

People like to believe they're friends are they're friends. In that they know whats best for them truth is no one really doesn't pay attention to any one.

They only wait for their chance to talk. If you date a guy and you think he's awesome but your friends don't chances are they want you to find someone they can take from you.

Because they haven't found him yet either.

reply to post by RN311


I kinda wanna join your rant. I went thru a date with a woman who frankly did not have any appeal at all to me. I mean I can get that not everybody is physicly good looking but this person did not have any lifesparkle at all beneth the physical. Some people can dazzle you with smiling and personality. And I even went there exited and in a romantic mood and even bought flowers. 10 minutes later it was like, oh crap, how am I gonna end this thing quickly because time is running to slow. Can this really be the same person that I have exchanged sms with?

I still tell my pal that he owes me bigtime for that setup. Never again.

I know what you mean,

I've decided the only female I need in MY life is my little 5 pound Chihuahua...

We never argue, and what I say goes!

Your friends are trying to get you to go out with who they feel is best for you from the limited amount of people they know. At least they are trying so you should just laugh it off as experience. I'm a Finn and Finn's don't usually learn until they make the same mistake twice. What nationality are you that it took you four times.....I suppose you are going to tell me your twice as good as I am.

reply to post by racer451


hahaha this made me laugh thanks!! I needed that

reply to post by LittleByLittle


Some people may just be to mature for people. In other words instead of taking things fast with you and ending up with someone he does not want to raise children with or get deeply involved with someone he hardly knows.

Assuming your female if not sorry for the misconception apply she to him.

reply to post by rickymouse


I'm German through and through, but I kept going because I really thought I might meet someone, not in a romantic way, but ya know make some new friends. Plus my friends pulled the whole " I promise this time is different, he's really nice, and wants to meet you" or my favorite "He saw your picture and thinks your hot, I told him you'd meet him for lunch" lol what a crock, but I'm just going to keep doing my thing I figure maybe one day I'll meet someone, if not it's all good

Originally posted by Vicarious10000
reply to post by LittleByLittle

 

Some people may just be to mature for people. In other words instead of taking things fast with you and ending up with someone he does not want to raise children with or get deeply involved with someone he hardly knows.

Assuming your female if not sorry for the misconception apply she to him.

yes I'm female, I have a great job, and amazing son, a wonderful home, and a car I just paid off, I have my sh** together, and I don't go out and party all the time (once a month or so) i guess I'm just to "grown" up for some people, I also don't need any help I guess that is intimidating to some guys

reply to post by RN311


I know what you mean. Being a single father hasn't been easy on the dating circuit either. I've been on meany blind dates. Most didn't amount to anything. A couple were just plain rude and got stood up a couple of times too. A few we just finished our coffee and said have a good life. A couple of them were pretty fun to spend time with but bottom line they were single with out kids and didn't understand what it meant to be a parent yet. That played a big part in the brake ups. It's been 7 years for me that's I've been playing the dating game and getting pretty fed up with he whole thing. I tried internet dating but I think most on there are just playing around. So I tried being bluntfully honest but didn't get one response Maybe I was a little too blunt.

One thing I don't get is how rude people can be. Might be a defense mechanism. Or low self esteem. Instead of being honest and say "you're not my type" They insult you and hope you'll leave and not look back. But some are just jerks. Be thankful you found out off the bat. No pun intended.

Good Luck.

reply to post by RN311
You said, that all of the blind dates proposed by your friends =>were the worst dates you ever had. In that case I would put two and two together and come up with a thought =>Your friends might be the ones to blame. Meaning: they probably had some chat with the each guy/''date'' (at the time, of course) and more likely said something like - ''......oh look, she really desperate, she really needs someone who will satisfy her, she is lovely and we do not want her to suffer.....''. I think this scenario could happen. People are not always sensitive, some are just in too much of a hurry to help (even if nobody asked for help), therefore actions and words were not chosen properly. I would try to find a date without ''help'' of my friends!!!
Wish you good luck. Thanks for sharing. S&F for you.

reply to post by RN311


You German woman always like to learn things the hard wayMaybe that's not such a good choice of words.

reply to post by RN311


Sorry bout your experience. Blind dates can be the worst experience. I did the online dating thing for a few years and it is nothing but a meat market experience with the exception of that one site that rates you and pairs you up with someone of similar background perhaps.

I personally recommend NOT LOOKING for someone but focusing on what makes you and your son happy. Making friends through your faith, from hobby interests and in activities with your son where other single parents too also do the same.

These days men are resorting to treating women badly because they have been told that psychologically this is how you gain control over a woman mentally. Meat market technique really. Many women look for only a man who has a high paying job rather than the substance of the man. We have become a VERY selfish nation so looking for someone well rounded and unselfish is tough these days.

Originally posted by RN311
yes I'm female, I have a great job, and amazing son, a wonderful home, and a car I just paid off, I have my sh** together, and I don't go out and party all the time (once a month or so) i guess I'm just to "grown" up for some people, I also don't need any help I guess that is intimidating to some guys

To have accomplished all that at 26, you really should be proud of yourself, and most definately shouldn't put up with being belittled just for the sake of a little company. Don't ever compromise, because however great your brother and father are, I think your son already has an amazing role model in you.

Originally posted by Vicarious10000
reply to post by LittleByLittle

 

Some people may just be to mature for people. In other words instead of taking things fast with you and ending up with someone he does not want to raise children with or get deeply involved with someone he hardly knows.

Assuming your female if not sorry for the misconception apply she to him.

I'm male and I am one of the people who will not jump in if things are not from my point of view extreamly good. There is maturity and then there is people who frankly make you feel nothing at all. Like you are having a conversation with a robot. She had a dog along with her for a picknick and I had more in common with the dog than with her after a while. Nice dog, not hers, she was dogsitting.

reply to post by KilgoreTrout


this made me tear up, I've never thought of myself as much of a role model for me son, other then making sure he learned the right way to treat women, by this I mean making sure whoever I am with treats me with respect because I know little boys learn a lot about relationships work by watching their parents, and since he only has me I take that very seriously. Your words mean a lot to me, I don't think I've done anything other then try to provide the best for both him and me. thanks again it really did mean a lot.

reply to post by XLR8R


I refuse to try on line dating lol I've already heard too many of those horror stories. Being a single parent really does complicate the dating scene because your not just looking for someone you like, but for someone that can be a role model for your child as well. I have been completely amazed at some of things that have been said to me on some of these dates and also some of the questions I've been asked, everything from "are your boobs fake?" (which let me make clear they are not!!!) to "so your a single mom, did you not believe in birth control?" I mean it's just unbelievable.


rickymouse, I resemble that remark lol, I do usually have to learn things the hard way, I'm pretty stubborn and don't give up easily which I think is a good thing. I call it determination when it works out in my favor lol and when it doesn't....................... well I've usually learned something useful

reply to post by RN311


Dating these days sucks. I started my own company and ended up single not long after as my hours are horrible and honestly relationships will take a back seat during the first year as it is horribly time consuming and stressful. I've been on 3 dates all which seemed to focus on my income and not much on me. And I have no kids couldn't imagine with a kid and a nurses schedule. Best of luck and on a side note you always find someone when not looking at all.

I could tell you about my first love in college.. that became a priest, but Ill refrain. Youre an RN.. so was I. Working in a level 1 trauma center and met my husband there. No, not a dr or fellow nurse. In reality he was.. a stalker that came in with a crushed ankle and wouldnt leave me alone... for weeks. I finally relented and went out on a date with him and his boot. That was 20 or so yrs ago.