In all seriousness though, are you honestly taught that the UK sent a good force to defend the Colonies? If so, you are being seriously misinformed.
*SIGH*
Yes...sadly...that is what we Americans are "taught". And it pretty much stays that way unless you happen to major in History in College. Even the
first two years coursework that would be roughly analogous to a Minor in History simply perpetuates this myth.
The American Version of what we call the Revolutionary War and you would call the American War of Independence gives only a passing mention that the
French "did some fighting in Europe too" instead of acknowledge the salient and material fact that our "Revolution" was a coordinated effort of
the French, Dutch, Spanish, and Americans to push back against British global hegemony in which the Americans elected to "go first" due to the vast
distances it would force the British to travel and stretch their troops, Navy, and supply lines. Needless to say...our victory at Saratoga is pitched
as "inspiration" for the French to "join the war" instead of it being an infuriating and embarrassing loss for King George III, which would be
likely prompt him to take irresponsible and poorly thought-out military action by committing FAR MORE troops and resources to the effort in the
America's than was prudent...thus paving the way for the Spanish, French, and Dutch to have a snowball's chance in Hell against the vastly superior
British forces...especially the British Navy.
Too bad...perhaps if we were a little bit smarter and better educated as a nation we would have understood that the 9-11 attacks were simply our
Saratoga, huh?
In the Alternate Dimension known as "The United States", the largely mythological and somewhat Deified "Founding Fathers" (whom most of my fellow
Americans cannot name more than 3 or 4 of) boldly declared their independence from Britain all on their own without talking to anyone else or having
any foreign allies and it was only after George Washington gave the British a decisive knuckle sandwich that the French, Spanish, and Dutch were able
to work up the courage to get involved in "a few skirmishes" as well.
Likewise, while it IS TRUE that British had an EXCEPTIONAL Naval advantage over our fledgling state...we tend to just sort of gloss over the fact that
the British had no trouble at all securing all of our major ports and coastal cities. Instead we focus on the raw determination of General George
Washington...usually dedicating 25%+ of the chapter to how Rugged Individualism helped the Americans be such tough guys at Valley Forge. Even going
so far as to almost UNIVERSALLY include such bizarre close-ups of the time at Valley Forge as to include that some of the troops would boil their own
shoe leather for food, after they had stripped run out of slippery elm (the fibrous strings on the inside of the bark of an Elm tree) as an emergency
food source and the fact that Washington did all of this despite having lots of toothaches and that many of the troops suffered from diarrhea.
While I normally applaud this level nuance in historical study...I would be remiss as a Historian myself if I did not acknowledge that it's a bit odd
to sum up the entire efforts of the other three nations that fought by our side (metaphorically...not geographically) in a sentence or two whilst
simultaneously examining the bowel movements of unnamed conscripts at their winter encampment. Oh...excuse me. I know the word "conscript" is
anathema to the American Version in which 100% of the mostly illiterate troops were motivated solely by their aspirations for a new form of government
modeled as a synthesis between the great civilizations and political thinkers of Greece and Rome...despite the fact the names "Cato", "Plato" and
"Socrates" would likely have elicited blank stares...especially from the child soldiers who were just a bit further removed from the cultural,
literary, and historical traditions of Europe and Western Thought than there forebears.
Unfortunately, any attempt whatsoever to actually share this information with the vast majority of my fellow Americans will be disregarded as being a
"liberal conspiracy", a "Taliban plot", part of a "Communist Takeover", or even "Satanic Indoctrination" given the quasi-divine status we
impart to these "Founding Fathers" who purportedly agreed on almost all issues, all of the time as if they were some sort of Colonial-Era Elks Lodge
or Kiwinis Club (you'll have to Google those last 2 cultural references yourself...approaching my character limit).
...remind me to tell you sometime about we teach our kids about WWI sometime. It's 1 page about Franz Ferdinand, 1 page about the Lusitania, and
then 5 pages or so on how awesome Ford® tanks and Chrysler® Jeeps were and how important they were for the war effort.
