Whatever happened to class, tact and diplomacy?

This is not a gun control thread. Take your second amendment arguments elsewhere. This is about something different. If you are unable to make the distinction between what I am about to say and rabid, vitriolic, visceral gun control arguments, this most certainly is not the place to be.


Yesterday 26 families had their lives ruined in the most shocking, disturbing and cruel way.

26 families don't have a loved one anymore, 20 of those families have lost children between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. As I read elsewhere, its likely that 20 sets of parents will be looking under a Christmas tree this morning and seeing presents meant for people that will never, ever be opened.

Those people didn't get any respect yesterday. What they got was a feeding frenzy of a media that is too intent on extracting information at all costs and self-centered people arguing madly about guns and gun control.

I watched TV interviewers talking to 5 and 6 year old kids about their experiences in the school. Shoving a microphone under the nose of a child to get the latest "scoop".

I saw a President make a difficult speech, only to have to rammed back down his throat by people who just want to accuse him or his government of setting the event up to further their political aims.

I saw law enforcement professionals and medical professional doing an astounding job, trying to make sense out of chaos and - as the first responders on the scene putting their lives on the line to protect others.

What I didn't see - with rare exceptions - was anyone actually thinking of the families, or of the people who responded.

No one seems to want to take the time to show a little tact, diplomacy or respect any more.

Have we really gone that far?

20 kids dead and we're shoving microphones under the noses of 6 year olds and asking them what they saw?

26 people dead by an active shooter and the most important thought in someones head is "they're coming to take my guns away"

26 people dead and the press are hounding the police, parents, medical responders and kids to get that little bit "extra", that last "tidbit" of information that ultimately becomes a 15 second mention (if its used at all).

What happened folks?

What happened to class, tact and diplomacy? Have we gone too far down the line that we're on the verge of losing our humanity just to self serve our own intrerests in the fish-bowl "need to know, need it right this second" world we've created?

Isn't it about time people just stopped and thought about things a little?

Your comments and thoughts are appreciated, but please note what I said above. This thread is about the human condition, not about gun control. Take that elsewhere.


ETA, there will be a full minutes silence on ATS Live tonight to honour the dead from Newtown's Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Nef, thank you for an excellent thread and for voicing opinions I'm sure many of us hold. I was torn yesterday between wanting to know what had happened to these tragic victims out of nothing more than compassion for them and their families, and at the same time being sickened that the media frenzy was so overpowering and had kicked in so soon. And yes, the worst bit was seeing 7 year olds being questioned about stuff that they are way too young to even comprehend fully, almost as soon as it happened.

Thankfully the emergency services seem to be totally on top of what's going on there, and are correctly very protective of the families. I hope so hard that they get the space and privacy they need.

And I'm personally disgusted that it's almost assumed in some circles that Obama was faking the tears. The man has children, he has family, and whatever you think of his politics or what the bigger picture may or may not be, it's totally pointless to even be discussing that.

I've got to the point where I can't bear the coverage, and the tv is off. It makes no difference now how they cover it and the gun control arguments will rage on, I'm sure. Perhaps all that matters is that we hold these families in our prayers and send them as much love as we can.

reply to post by neformore

What happened to class, tact and diplomacy? Have we gone too far down the line that we're on the verge of losing our humanity just to self serve our own intrerests in the fish-bowl "need to know, need it right this second" world we've created?

Yes, we have.

How many people say "I would do anything to reach this goal," and absolutely mean anything. Whether it's drugs to enhance performance, lies to smear a candidate, violence or law-breaking to advance a cause, or even murder to get a pair of tennis shoes. "What I want" is the only consideration for many.

And what's to prevent it? Do our schools, media, or leaders promote the idea that there is a definite right and wrong? Of course not. "Morality is relative to the situation." "If it's right for you, then it's right." "You can't be criticized because of your life experiences."

The inner controls which keep us from wrong-doing have to be deeply ingrained, they can't be just advice, suggestions, or even laws. Until we really want to do right, there is no reason to utilize class, tact, and diplomacy, unless they serve our purposes.

What happened is that everything is run for profit.

Glad you said it. I thought about posting similar ideas but stop myself .....who would listen?

The principal shot in 2006 was a classmate and friend of mine so I've experienced some of this first hand. I attended the vigil the night of the shooting, saw the line of satellite trucks and realized that what needed to happen there was going to be drowned out.

Yesterdays events are quickly getting covered over in gun control debates, politics, ban this or that.

We're humans first, or should be.

Agreed and thank you for the post.

It seems that Social Media websites, 'reality' tv shows and first person shooter games, have been turning our society into a giant sewer of apathetic waste.

If people don't interact with other humans directly then it appears they lose the ability to feel empathy. This is very scary.

As I read elsewhere, its likely that 20 sets of parents will be looking under a Christmas tree this morning and seeing presents meant for people that will never, ever be opened.

That's what is most important right now.

Justice will run its course and the media will find something else to feed the public. By Christmas, it'll be mostly forgotten...

On Christmas Day the families and friends will still have to face those presents and the faces of the surviving brothers and sisters.

I was going to post this as a stand alone thread, but it'll work here too...

When I decided to write this my first thought was: "How to even start?" The events of yesterday...how do I even begin to try to look beyond?

All I was seeing were terrified little kids, identical in many ways to the kids I see walking past my apartment building every week day... All I was seeing were dead children... All I was seeing were the frantic adults trying to shelter them... Most of all I saw frantic, terrified parents wondering if their child is safe...and dreading the answer. In all too many cases their worst fears became living nightmare, their lives forever shattered.

My initial response was, like everyone else's, horror, then anger, anger at the shooter, anger at the virtually instantaneous attempts by some to immediately attempt to score some sickening political points...as though these little children were some horrible game tokens.

How? Why? In the coming days we'll see all too many attempts to lay blame, most in some disgusting attempt to score those same sickening points... Innocent victims as game tokens.

In these days ahead let's try, at least for a day or three; to leave the politics out of it...

Time, and to spare, to debate the merits, or lack of same, of gun control legislation.

For the now? Let's let the dead be buried in peace. Let the parents grieve, and seek whatever solace they can. Let the people who's families have been forever disrupted mourn. Let the survivors begin to heal...

Righteous, or self-righteous wrath can, or should, wait for a while.

Whether you share my faith, or not, spare a moment to pray/wish for peace of mind for those whose lives were irrevocably changed yesterday.

My views on gun control are public knowledge... But for the moment? They can wait. I'm not so self-righteous as to intrude in any way on the irreconcilable grief that all too many are attempting to deal with today, and for many, many tomorrows in a small city in Connecticut.

Expressing our anger over fault real, or imagined should wait until some of those tomorrows have passed, and brought what healing they may.

Healing first. Laying the blame can, or should, wait.

May God grant them all peace.

reply to post by seagull


Excellent post, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Listening to reports shortly after it occurred I heard one thing said that made my heart smile. As an officer was leading children out of the school, he had them all hold hands and told them to close their eyes until he told them they could open them.

It was nice to hear those caring words

It became nauseatingly obvious that people had become inhuman and completely desensitized when they weren't up in arms about Bush and Kerry both being part of the Skull and Bones society.
This is a group that worships death. A sick club full of psychopathic frat boys. Some members of the media tried to bring this to the forefront, but it was soon buried.
When our elected officials worship death, chaos, and destruction, all hope is lost.

Originally posted by neformore
What happened to class, tact and diplomacy? Have we gone too far down the line that we're on the verge of losing our humanity just to self serve our own intrerests in the fish-bowl "need to know, need it right this second" world we've created?

Well said, Nef.

As I wrote in my current ATS Debate with Spike Speigle, professional journalism has been in a nearly century long decline, pushed along the path of "need to know, regardless of cost or ethics", and this is just the latest instance of something that's been happening for a long, long time.

Challenge Match: adjensen vs Spike Spiegle - Journalism is a Dying Profession

We're a long way from the days of Murrow and Cronkite, and there's no telling how much worse it can get, but rest assured, it will get worse.

reply to post by PrincessTofu


How about you stop scapegoating technology you don't understand, and look for the actual root issues here? Video games are just that: games. I've been playing the kind of games you and your kind seem convinced turn kids into violent murderers since I was 5, and I have yet to go on a killing spree. I'm about as non-violent in person as it gets.

I don't know what's causing these incidents, but I can tell you it's something a whole lot deeper than entertainment.

reply to post by neformore

Well said

Is it me or do some people just not get it?

Now is not a time to try and score points in petty arguments.

Now is the time for compassion.

reply to post by neformore


As you put too, our world of instant gratification has spread to all facets of life. We are tied to the grid constantly wanting to know everything as it happens. As the ability to communicate sped up so did this need, no more snail mail I want a response now, send a text. My grandmother told me the other night how sad it makes her that she does not get many letters or cards anymore....no one has the time...right? I think we should think about slowing things down, back to the basics; letters and face-to-face conversations....Today I hope everyone takes time to appreciate their loved ones and takes some time out our busy schedule to at least drop a call to someone we haven't talked to in awhile, if nothing else just to see how they are. Listening is a great place to start people cry for help all the time.

Maybe the MSM knows they have to satisfy a public inured to decency by Reality Tv?

Well, I seem to lack a brain-mouth filter personally so I don't have those three aforementioned things. I think a lot of this stems from ego. Some people always have to be right all the time, so they just try to get their petty jabs in.

I just tell them they are right and it normally shuts them down for the most part.

Originally posted by DaesDaemar
What happened is that everything is run for profit.

Exactly.

Unfortunately, this is the reality as I see it , here in Europe, everywhere, insidiously infiltrating all levels of the society.

Will this madness stop?

Anyway, well said neformore.

You know, I will guess that most reporters (except the really experienced and ambitious ones) aren't all that comfortable with doing these types of interviews where they have to get information from victims, literally right after the tragedy. I base this assumptions on an experience I had shadowing a local news reporter who was getting the "scoop" on guy who had recently lost his wife in a water rafting accident. Before finding the guy (after hunting him down like a wild game animal) she noted to me how she felt kind of wrong about interviewing the guy right after the tragedy and not giving him time to mourn, first. But she noted that it was the nature of her job--she had to get the scoop, you see or else face termination or irrelevance in an industry that profits (literally) on tragedy.



-The Ghoster

reply to post by antonia


Is nobody going to question the motives of the parents for allowing their children to be interviewed?
Due to modern world technology, we in England, were getting the news at the same time you were.
My wife actually remarked on how a child, being interviewed after coming out of the school, could be so matter of fact in his assessment and, wait for it, explain that doors in the school were closed to ( and i cant recall this verbatim) "keep the animal out".
What 6 year old is that cognant that they would automatically refer to the assailant as an animal?
What the bloody hell were the parents thinking allowing that to happen!!
Id suggest some coaching went on prior to the interview.
This isnt about journalism being out of control, its about a society that dislikes boundaries and rules and perceives them as infringements on their freedoms and rights........you know where this will go and I wont out of respect to the OP.
Nothing changes, does it.

A fine example from the UK is the Kay Burley from Sky News approach. Shoving cameras in the faces of those grieving and asking them ridiculous questions and in this case, breaking the news to family members a little girl had been presumed dead.