This is a subject that bothers me greatly. I had a very good friend at university who had huge prejudice against fat people. She was very wealthy, and
when the nanny agency sent her a new girl to be her nanny to allow my friend to be a full time student, she was horrified that they sent her "the
fattest nanny she had ever seen". I was mid twenties at the time, and frankly shocked at the blatant disgust she voiced. I told her I thought it was
a little harsh that she didn't even give the girl a chance before making that judgement, and her opinion and expectation that she would be lazy,
careless, rude and insensitive was perhaps not related to her weight. I had to eat my words as this morbidly obese new nanny did infact turn out to be
all of those things. Still I didn't think there would be any connection to her weight. There couldn't be, surely. Fat people are just victims of
metabolism, or hormones, or something........
Then a few years later, I had the mad experience of being with a partner who was what we call now super morbidly obese. I have to add that he WAS NOT
like that when I met him. Within fours years however, he ballooned in weight for various reasons, and I got to watch first hand how the mindset and
victim mentality of the seriously overweight can work. I'm not saying this is the case for every person with a weight problem, but I'm sure it's
Now he was a lot of good things....smart, creative, focused when he wanted to be, sociable, funny. Unfortunately he was also a lot of bad things, and
one of these was that he had a massive sense of entitlement to whatever he wanted in that moment, including an insane food addiction. And yes, it was
an addiction. We couldn't go shopping without him wanting...no, insisting...that we stop after just an hour for something to eat, even though we
maybe had lunch just before leaving the house. Everything was extreme...the amount he spent on food, the behaviour he displayed trying to shed the
weight, which never worked, and always involved spending huge amounts of money and involving as many people as possible to pay attention to him. His
personal habits, hygiene, even how he moved around the house became very lazy and quite honestly....disgusting. All because he was so overweight, and
either couldn't be bothered, or said he didn't have the energy.
I've had long enough to think about this now since we split and try and reason out the causes, or some of them. Firstly, there is a chemical
addictive issue here, that is manufactured by food corporations who want to sell us more of their products, and possibly more of their drugs too, when
we get food-sick, so to a large extent, we are being manipulated very heavily to be addicts, who can't or won't cook natural food ourselves, and we
seem to be oblivious to what this sugar loaded chemical crap is doing to our minds, bodies, energy systems. Collectively, we need to do all that we
can to break this cycle and get back to proper home cooked natural food. And no...it's not expensive.
Secondly, there is also a campaign to be kinder to fat people...we cannot discriminate, we can't be judgemental, we can't be critical, and this is
feeding their sense of helplessness and entitlement even more. I've seen this kind of behaviour first hand for years, and I tried really hard to help
him deal with it and get healthier, but he didn't want to do it....he wanted things done FOR him, not have to do them himself. Making allowances for
and being non judgemental of fat people makes them worse. I've seen it, I've lived with it, and I believe that what I witnessed is a very typical
case...I've heard the same opinions and excuses uttered by many other overweight people since. It's not your hormones, your glands, your metabolism,
your genetics, your depression, your medication.
Fat people are smart, clever, funny, creative, completely competent in any way you care to choose, except in the understanding that if the calories in
are more than the calories out, and they don't get their backsides off the couch on a regular basis, their will gain weight. We are not being the
control freaks here...we have to encourage them to become control freaks over what they put in their mouths. Sure, if they want to be fat then
fine...go ahead and consume, but don't expect to be babied over it. Don't expect to be looked after and fussed over for something you've created
entirely by yourself...it's unfair and a complete waste of resources.
So could we have this overweight guy as president? Sure...why not? Some people are genuinely ok with being fat and it doesn't affect their self
esteem, or even their behaviour that much, and absolutely not their level of competence. I would see his weight issue as a possible red flag, and
probably a personal issue for him that would never affect his judgement in other ways.
I would still be saying to him to eat more brown rice and vegetables, forget cheese and walk the dog five miles a day....