another thought.

A wee bit bored, but as usual when bored i get into philosophy mode.
I am thinking about irritation, whats up with that. I mean we all got things that makes us irritated, but why?

Me for example, i get extremely irritated if someone in my vicinity chews gum with the mouth open, i mean, how bloody stupid is that, put in a LOT of energy in anger over a sound.
I dont even know why that gets to me, but i DO know that when i was in my teens i had a friend who got very irritated by that same thing,
and i also remember that i had a hard time understanding how he could get so mad over such a riddicolous thing.

Does that mean that i have inherrited that from my friend and that that irritation aint even my own in a sence.

If i think about a common source for irritation that is often joked about, ladies that gets irritated on their husbands for not putting down the sit ring on the toilette after they have done their buisness in it.

What is the matter with that?
Why again put energy in anger instead of just putting it down themselves?
Is the women who gets irritated about that, the same ladies that forgets to put it down and realise they forgot it when they feel the cold hard porcelain against their skin?

If that is the case, then it is a matter of "not being able to get irritated on themselves so lets blame it on the husband cause he will gladly take the fall for me"

Imagine this scenario,
I, a man, come home from work.
the pressure is really really bad, and in need of getting released.
I rush in to the bathroom to release it, the buttons wont work with me,
i finally get past the little button problem.
And at last......................ahhhh, feeling really good about the pressure release.
and all of a sudden i see the lid is not lifted.
As i stand there in all the mess, i shout out to my wife,
- why the &%/& is it so ?¤#& hard to lift the lid after youve been here love?

What is it that makes the default position of the lid to be down and not up?

Why do we put lots of energy in to getting mad over such trivial things?

Where do we get the things we get irritated about from?

And finally, what pushes your buttons, why does these things push your buttons, and have those things always pushed your buttons?

well now its time to lean back, hoping no rules and regulations are broken, and awaiting replies.

Oh, and by the way, this aint a rant about women in any way, it was only the first example that came to mind

cheers/jimmy

Originally posted by jisujaaljo

Oh, and by the way, this aint a rant about women in any way, it was only the first example that came to mind

Uh-huh. The OP doth protest too much, methinks...

Anyway, we get irritated because we don't practice mindfulness to our full potential. People are occasionally mindful but not nearly enough. So we slip into the default state of mindlessness...

reply to post by BlueMule


haha, naw, i aint much of a protester really
just curious.

Now then, share something that gets your skin crawl off, if you would be so kind
jimmy

People get mad when things don't go their way because people get mad when when things don't go their way. The problem is in that they believe their ideals are absolute measures of what is right. When in truth, right and wrong are as subjective as the ideals. The problem is not anger. The problem is in believing your own lies.

reply to post by jisujaaljo


Most people get irritated because they have anger issues or are not happy in that moment. If you are happy in your life, you can except others behaving differently or making mistakes.

reply to post by citizenoftheworld


hi there.
yeah, that much i get, that its all about how happy you are with yourself and your life.
but from where do we get the stuff we get irritated about

jimmy

What is it that makes the default position of the lid to be down and not up?

Just for giggles: Perhaps with the loo seat it is a simple mathematical solution.

X (male) utilises the loo in two configurations: Seat up and seat down.

Y (female) utilises the loo in one configuration: Seat down

Ignoring umm... activity specific frequency (being ignored due to consideration that male/female usage in that aspect can be guessed at cancelling each other out) leaves two seat down scenarios (100% chance that seat down is preferable for the female and 50% chance it's preferable for the male) and only one seat up scenario (which is only 50% chance of being preferable for the male). For the overall benefit to all who use the loo then it seems the seat down configuration is generally preferable at 3:1. Leaving the seat up then can be interpreted as, at best, lazy and perhaps more than that inconsiderate. On top of that too it can be considered that you should put the lid down too anyhow - it's surely more hygienic/you can't accidentally drop stuff down there, the lowered seat is automatically preferable here too then. So there's actually a higher than 3:1 ratio that it's beneficial and preferable (in shared bathrooms) for mankind as a whole to have the seat down.



As far as

why does these things push your buttons,

I think citizenoftheworld abovehas a good point.

I think the important think to recognise here is that the activity itself is rarely a point of contention, far more frequently I think it's what we consider the activity to represent, perceived intent. If you noted someone dangerously swerving across lanes in front of you in an attempt to avoid an accident I doubt it would cause much frustration. Someone committing the same actions because they wanted to use an outside lane to, for example, save themselves the few minutes that those queuing have to wait when they knew full well they would have to late swerve dangerously across lanes to reach their exit would be seen as unreasonable and so unjustified.

So, like perhaps all actions in life it does, I think, boils down to intent rather than the action. It's not always easy to accurately gauge the intent of another and on top of that if I am in a bad mood I am less likely to be generously neutral in my assessment; anger can rise quickly all too frequently and when it does can take aim at whatever handy target it sees on the battlefield refusing me opportunity to consider matters in a more even handed way and in doing so choose a more accurate understanding and effective route to achieve the success of moving myself into a more productive/beneficial position in life. To become frustrated I have to take offence at an action and even if the genuine intent behind an action is to frustrate me (as opposed to me mistakenly believing that is the case) no-one else has the authority, the ability to force offence upon me. I must embrace it myself.

So, looking at it that way I have come to the conclusion that in all probability (most actions aren't undertaken to offend me that those that might irritate are frequently just symbolic of a genuine and deeper frustration I have with myself, the actual cause of which lies elsewhere) I should be more tolerant of others behaviour generally and particularly cautious if I find it offensive.

Originally posted by jisujaaljo
reply to post by citizenoftheworld

 

hi there.
yeah, that much i get, that its all about how happy you are with yourself and your life.
but from where do we get the stuff we get irritated about

jimmy

I think it happens because in that moment you search for something to make your irritation come out more because you are in a certain state of mind. It's a way to express yourself. Instead, you can also choose to speak about this thing that is on your mind. I think in that moment you just choose something that you would normally not do or like yourself. Normally, in a right state of mind, you wouldn't care.

reply to post by JAK


hmm, my tummy hurts a little after laughing almost to the point where accidents in pants do happen.

on your little seat down equation i applaude you, but you miss one important point.
how many are we that have had panic in our eyes, shaking in the whole body, have had such a hard time standing still that getting the zipper open is comparable to rubricks cube. when we have had the need to use the loo.
now think of all time that could be saved, and all the accidents that could be avoided if the default where "seat up"

i mean, you just dont put a fire extinguisher on the attic just because it looks ugly next to the fireplace

I say emergency slaps math every day of the week.
haha.

On the real questions youve put forth some really thought worthy stuff and i think i need to taste it for a while to get it fully

thanks.
the lawbreaker

As to

where do we get the stuff we get irritated about

I think we're far too complex to guess. I may be annoyed by someone chewing food with their mouth open because the person who bullied me used to do so or alternatively it may have been instilled into me by my parents when as a child they scolded me for doing so and told me that it was very disrespectful. Later in life I may be feeling frustrated and undervalued because I was passed over for promotion at work, I don't believe the effort I put in is appreciated and I find myself sitting across from another who, by chewing with their mouth open, I view as being inconsiderate through their rudeness which touches upon that raw nerve from work and I interpret this lack of manners as a further sign that my efforts, my desires are insignificant compared to others. With these various factors combined I am moved to say something and air my frustration.

Frustration over the same thing stems from very different causes. It can be so subjective that apart from saying 'for whatever reason this is where we've ended up in life, frustrated over such a thing' I think it's impossible to slap a general 'one size fits all' tag on here.

reply to post by citizenoftheworld


allright. i buy that to a sertain extent.
But if i speak for me, wich is the only thing i got to go on really
i could be super happy, super mad, super sad, or in just about any state of mind you can come up with, when someone makes sounds of chewing on a gum, my hair gets on end, and i see black,
and as i said before in the starting post,
i know that i didnt got bothered by that when i was young.
but had a friend who did.
haha i know its silly and for no real reason, hence so stupid.

jimmy

reply to post by JAK

well. i think it has sunk in and started to make sense.
and as for the explanation in the last bit you posted it makes very much sense.
and as you say, its probaly kind of hard to find an all around fix on the thing.

and as for rubricks cube, imagine a bathroom doorlock made as a cube

reply to post by jisujaaljo


if that is true, do you have problems in general with people that eat with an open mouth and make noises? If yes, this article could interesting to read


Misophonia

reply to post by citizenoftheworld


aww crap!!!
you just slammed a brain dissorder in my face,,,,,,,,,,,,,and i cant even be offended by it.
haha i actually can see me having Misophonia, well parts of it anyway.
crap crap crap, now im even less sane than before
thanks

reply to post by jisujaaljo


LOL I hope I didn't offend you, was merely helping looking for an answer, not indicating you might have Misophonia

reply to post by citizenoftheworld

naw, not offended in the least
i could very well have misophonia, but its not the end of the world, hey it the opposit really.
now i have a legit reason for loosing it when at a bubble gum conference if i ever attend one