( Welcome to will likely become an ongoing saga of the things in this world that my my right eye tWiTcH, my pulse to beat a death metal conga into
my inner chest, and my brain to boil. Peter Griffin can have his "Grinds My Gears" thing because, well, I'm half crazy anyway and my gears were all
ground down a long, long time ago. Now? Things just EXPLODE! Thus, I give you entry one of the Blown Gasket series!
I don't watch a lot of television really. I like three shows currently. Supernatural
Game of Thrones
, and - of course - The Walking Dead!!!
Two of those shows are currently on "mid season hiatus" - and the third either is or will be soon. Even if it's not - one hour out of every 168
does not effective distraction make!
Usually, when this happens, I would turn to movies. They're great too! The problem is that I browse the menus, the channels, and even the rentals -
and no longer find anything intriguing. Everything that I would want to see? I've seen. The stuff I like more than once. A few enough times to nearly
have the movie memorized line by line and by verse.
Last night I took it upon myself to try and find a new show to watch. Something to fill in over the next couple of slow months. You know. A crutch. I
tend to like fiction, action, and drama - often with shades of dystopian or scifi mixed in. So I did a quick Bing
asking the great and powerful
Interwebz to recommend something to me!
It did. Dr Who
As an American, I've seen a few episodes of Dr Who. A couple way, way, way back in the day, when PBS was actually public - and ran a lot of BBC
programs... back when Dr Who had the giant, curly, 'fro. Can't say I remember liking it much, nor getting into it as a kid. Then, about '05 or '06
I recall watching it on the Scifi network for a few episodes. Even then, however, I only noticed two things. First - that Dr Who was a dude who does
voice overs and promo work for PBS ( at least locally they show it ) and
... Let's face it. Honestly? I don't remember a thing about it - other than her
Being reminded of her got my memories flowing and had me all excited to get into some Doctor Freaking Who ASAP! So... I then ask the Bing
help me out and point me in the right direction. Where can I find this show? Where's an episode guide? How can I sign up and get started?!?!
As an American my notion of TV is that the Simpsons has been on for about 20 years, give or take and, in my opinion, that is about ten seasons longer
than it should have been. Next to that? Maybe M*A*S*H* - at like eight or nine seasons. Here TV shows tend to last a few years and then go away. Got a
hankerin' to watch the entire Dukes of Hazzard series - in total? Set aside a week or open up a weekend and squeeze the whole thing in, marathon
Imagine my surprise when I start reading. Doctor Who is older than I am. I don't mean the character. I mean the SHOW! In fact it is ssssooo old that
one of the first things one learns is that not even the BBC knows where a number of the early episodes are anymore. They just went *poof*. Wikipedia
says that there are 789
episodes - and I don't even know if that includes the lost ones or not! Some are 25 minutes, some are 45 minutes, and
others are even longer. But, damn, even if they were all just 25 minutes it would take nearly two weeks of 24 hour a day marathon viewing just to
Oh and there are movies, specials, cartoons, and SIX spin off shows - and BOOKS! IN ADDITION to the 789 episodes!
So, it occurs to me that Churchill had a plan.. .that plan was that he realized the American attentions span was going to shrink, due to advances in
comfort and technology - so his evil plot was to start a television series that would run for ssssooo long that any future American who heard of it
and felt interested, would IMPLODE the moment that they realized what they were in for.
This is revenge for that whole Tea Party thing back in the day. Isn't it?
Dear God folks. I'm 46 years old and, a few weeks ago I read the Disney had purchased the rights to Star Wars - and that they're going to make
another trilogy. My first thought, upon hearing that news... upon hearing that the franchise that defined MY generation was going to continue? It was
to think "Hey, if I am lucky, I'll live long enough to see all three of the new movies!"
I'm praying to God that he gives me about 300 minutes more worth of Star Wars based cinematic pleasure - and here comes some phone booth having,
funny scarf wearing, British show about a time travelling guy who runs away from fire hydrants that have eyes - and it wants me to invest myself for
789 episodes of varying length? If I were like TEN years old I might undertake such a quest!
I am sitting here imagining myself old, wrinkled, gray, and in some hospital bed, in a coma, with machines beeping and whirring - as a doctor enters
the room and says "Can we pull the plug now?" only for my loved ones ( or more likely legal representation - as I have this skill for pissing off
) saying "Soon doc - there's only 128 more episodes of Doctor Who to go before his living will is fulfilled...."
That's just foul! Foul and dirty!
Hey, that show Spooks
( MI-5 in the US )? Loved it! Good writing, good acting, good stories... SIXTY
FOUR - ONE HOUR EPISODES! See! SANE!
But this Doctor Who thing??? It's pure madness!
How is this a conspiracy website and nobody has ever stopped, thought, and posted a thread entitled "789 EPISODES? WTH???"
Sure, people can bray on and on about false flag this and Niburu that... while this entire conspiratorial travesty is just sitting here, untouched!
It's an abomination I tell you!
You know what? I'm so gasket frazzled right now that not even
Can distract me or make me smile.
Oh... you Brits. You do realize that I'm onto your insidious plan? Don't you? A show about time travel and a character with no real name, who has
been played by like twenty different actors, in eleven supposed "incarnations" over five freaking decades - who gets chased by fire plugs with eyes
and lives in a phone booth!
Seriously. The entire "Doctor Who" script writers guide probably says something like "There is no story. Just make it up as you go along. If an
actor quits or dies, just "respawn" him and get another actor. Write out all secondary characters every few years so no Americans begin to feel at
home with the show. Just follow Sir Winstons advice and never surrender! We'll beat those damned Yanks at their own game!"
Am I right?
Now, if you'll excuse me, the Bing
is informing me that I might as well just sit down and rewatch
- at least that's only asking me for about 61 hours of my life....