Just going to throw this out there...
I'm asking for some insight..I have a hard time making decisions..I guess I you could say I get overwhelmed by fear when making big decisions. I
haven't always been this way, ten/fifteen years ago anything could go..I would pack a suitcase and be gone..without any fear of future. My husband
and I have 2 little girls now 6/4..so when making plans our first thought is their safety, happiness and well-being above anything we may want. So
with that...here it goes...We are unhappy--not in our relationship or family..(family life is great)..we are unhappy with where we are at..mentally,
physically, location, job..everything. Other than our happiness as a family, our lives are void..which sometimes put's strain on family life, but we
are both really good at snapping back to reality and putting the kids first and making sure they don't see our sadness..if that makes sense.
We want to change this, but every time we set a plan in place we somehow discourage ourselves with fear of unknown. So, I am going to break down what
I /want/need help..I'm hoping maybe someone on the outside could give advice, insight, whatever..
What we have:
-Good marriage/great kids/no family dysfunction (beyond being our weird selves
-My husband makes 40K/yr but HATES his job..we just found out he is being passed up again (3rd time for promotion) even though he works his tail
off..they want to bring in someone from the outside @@
-I like my little side job which is portrait photography, but it is hit or miss around here because people are so broke and there are too many people
doing photography for cheap..so making this a full time job here would be difficult.
-House is almost paid off 19K left (we dislike this house bordering on hating it) it's really small and totally not functional for our family.
-HATE this area, boring small town (under 20K people..not much diversity and void of anything interesting to do or see) Only have chain restaurants
and stores..people get excited over going to target kind of place.
-We all feel that our lives are just a day to day dull, lifeless routine of existence..and we both know that there is so much more waiting to be had,
but don't know how to get there anymore..day in day out it's just us..not many friends on the outside of these four walls.
What we want but are afraid to conquer :
MOVING--we would LOVE to move. My husband is from San Francisco, CA but that is out..too expensive. We both feel like moving to California would be a
mistake financially. We are looking into St Louis, MO because it's not far from here and (forgot to mention my whole family lives here) reasonably
priced living. We have also considered Austin, TX. We would like to be in the city somewhere..we both adore living a faster paced life..lot's of
stuff to do..lot's of people..lot's of diversity..
Problem--we are 37 and 46..we almost have this house paid for and we fear mortgaging the rest of our lives for a bigger home in the city..not to
mention affording it..renting is an option..but we prefer to have a place of our own.
Job- I am sure my husband could find great job that he loves if jobs were plentiful..but the reality as we know..is tough. We are afraid if he tells
his boss to take this job and shove it, we won't find another job out there that pays what he is making or higher..and already we are struggling..with
40K..but he is really miserable where he is at and that makes his life more stressful..I feel bad for him.
SO...Here it is..our life here is pretty stable-we have a home, our car is old but paid for, we have little debt beyond our mortgage..family is
here..but we are unhappy with where we are at. We could wait here to become totally debt free ( 5 years or less) and then not struggle at all
financially..other than utilities we would have all income to ourselves.
We could move and hope to find better job and more money..better living and feel happier..but at cost. I guess we are afraid of not making it in the
city..and then where would we be..we are both GO-getters..we don't give up easy when it comes to working hard..so I have no fear of getting down and
dirty when it comes to making money....moving with kids makes us feel like everything MUST be concrete..all plans must have a definite positive
outcome..but at the same time I have this little spark in me that says 'just go...take the leap..there's no way you can fail'...but it still terrifies
me having my girls..
So would you take the leap away from stability to find happiness? Or are we being childish in our dreams..do we just need to buck up and deal with
edit on 6-12-2012 by Neopan100 because: error