posted on Dec, 6 2012 @ 01:03 AM
America is responsible for some of the most incredible achievements of not just our time, but of all times. We laid the foundation of individual
rights in government, placed a man on the moon, and developed a network of communication that will soon connect almost every inhabitant on this
With this in mind, I must draw attention to one of the worst tragedies ever brought against mankind courtesy of the US of A. It is an affliction that
haunts us on every step from youth to adulthood never ceasing in its assault. Worst of all, it disproportionately targets our children and twists
their minds towards false images using double-speak to implant fallacious associations between word and image.
This flaccid enemy continually assaults us at home, when we eat out, while we shop, and at almost every other juncture of man and food. The enemy is,
of course, American cheese.
Seriously, who decided to call this stuff cheese? A cheese-like substance is even too lenient a term. If you want to give something a creamy
texture, why not just douse it in lard or oil? At least this would save us from the embarrassment of having our country's name associated with these
square, cheese-like-though-not-really food stuffs.
I understand that America faces many obstacles in our path towards rediscovering who we are, but before we can once again aspire towards greatness, we
must first address the cheese. As Napoleon said, "A nation marches on its cheese." While this may not be a direct quote, I have to assume it was the
original intention. A nation marching on American cheese has no future.
So to those enslaved by the tyranny of American cheese I urge you, throw off the shackles of this creamy adversary and embrace the utopia of true
cheese. Turophiles of the world, unite! We have nothing to lose but our processed cheeses!
edit on 6-12-2012 by hezro because: Typo