posted on Jul, 3 2013 @ 05:34 AM
I'm going to have to play devils advocate for a minute, before I respond to the original query. It may interest you to know how some dating sites
operate; some will reactivate profiles after they have been deleted and some will say you are online when you are not. Many sites are filled with fake
profiles as well, so when they get real ones they like to keep those to fill out an area. If 10 men are posted in a county what good is the site? So
they fill them out with fakes, and reactivate closed ones, when you sign up on those things the eula says they can use your info however they want. I
was hanging with a friend once helping her with a profile and it showed myself as being online and it had been weeks since last logged in, I thought
it was creepy that they had it active when I was not, so there's that side to consider on those websites.
Now my apologies for giving advice if you have already dealt with this situation, I could only make it about 2 and 1/4 pages in before replying. This
friend of yours is happily married as you say. Perhaps asking her why she is compelled to be window shopping on a dating site when happily married?
She might give you a straight answer... after all the guy in question was allegedly doing the same thing; if so she could have given you insight into
the behavior instead of having to take it to strangers online.
There are a number of reasons why someone would ask another to remove a profile. it is not so cut and dry as it may seem... here's a a couple.
1. insecurity, a guy may feel inadequate if your self description is accurate and they are lacking self esteem... if this is the case just run away,
these men are the typical "nice guy" is a facade the true self will come out when they feel you're in too deep, their facade is hiding control
issues, and their insecurity will always have you guilty... where you going? what are you doing? who are you talking too? yes that kind of nonsense
that can lead to an abusive relationship or a toxic one. These people honestly are looking for a self esteem boost, the initial rush they get is not
love or butterflies it is an inflated ego, hey they got a date so maybe they aren't such a loser after all... and after that initial rush the
controls start popping out when the insecurity returns.
2. The guy thinks he can do better, he has some ideal in his mind of what his perfect partner would be... perhaps you fill 80% or even 99% of that but
something he wants is lacking could be one major thing, and not to sound crass but it is going to be something in the bedroom department in these
cases, it isn't going to be about looks, it isn;t going to be about money, it isn't going to be about cooking or cleaning or something you said...
if you don't f__k and s__k the guy and rock his word in the boudoir, his mind and eye are going to start wandering and wondering and either leave you
I know you're saying hey wait a minute! I do all sorts of stuff! Hey, quite a few men have some particular tastes you're not going to be aware of.
because when having the sex talk do not judge or offer personal input... just listen, if you react or offer input... because he will choose his words
and you will not get the entire picture... instead be on the edge of your seat ready to smile, nod and make short comments like wow to keep spurring
him on. Guys will go on and on readily about subjects they like... and sex happens to be one of the big ones... they don't care if it's a one sided
conversation, by the end of that attentive listening you will know what kind of guy you are dealing with.
If he's mentioned some stuff you certainly won't do... then your best bet if you are looking for a serious committed relationship is to not continue
with the man further... and here's why. The guy is going to be completely happy he is getting some ok? He will say and do anything to keep the gravy
train flowing if he manages to get it started... and then it happens that, you don't do whatever it is that that guy really wants; guess what? He
eventually gets frustrated and starts window shopping... no matter how fulfilling the relationship may be otherwise, and he will be moody and nit
pick... because someone out there will do all those dirty little things you won't do and he wants to find her. If he has no moral compass, he will
just cheat on you until you find out, if he does have one he will break it off. If he's an a-hole he will blame it on you and give you insecurity
issues... if he blames it on something else he is trying to let you down easy; maybe he's the sort that won't cheat but talk and has already found
someone but hasn't gotten physical, that guy will start stuff for no reason and be crabby trying to get you to initiate the break up giving him what
he wants... which is out, guys that want out will do this too sometimes even if they haven't met someone, they'd rather you be mad, they typically
refer to an ex as the B word.
I am out of room... so nighty nites.