I think we should have "Homophobic Conversion Therapy" instead of "Gay Conversion Therapy."

Just a thought that crossed my mind earlier this week:

For starters and for whatever it may matter: I am straight. (Granted, sexual preference is rarely black or white, but that's an entirely different thread.) Also, for what it's worth, my roommate/best friend is 100% gay.

Anyway, I think - and think most of you will agree - that this whole idea of 'gay conversion therapy' is simply ridiculous. All you straight people out there (regardless of your opinions on homosexuality): How easy would it be to make you exclusively sexually attracted to a member of the same gender? Could you be turned gay? Chances are, probably not.
With that said, why would someone think it would be possible to make a homosexual straight? (Much less, why would someone think it is necessary to turn a gay person straight?)

Therefore, something that I think would be MUCH more productive would be to have classes where someone who is homophobic in anyway - whether they are scared of gays, grossed out by gays, think being gay is a sin, or have any other kind of preconceived judgment on what it means to be gay - can be 'introduced' to the gay community. They can meet both gay men and gay women, from all races, from all ages, and from all backgrounds. They could have team building exercises. They could just have informal lunch dates and conversations. They could meet the family of the gay person. Basically: they could learn that gay people are...dun dun dun.... PEOPLE.
They don't have some insidious agenda or plot to destroy 'traditional' families. They aren't pedophiles. They don't all have aids. They don't all ANYTHING, because each one of them are individuals. (Just like everyone else.)

I think a class like this would be great. It could get people to just hang out and have fun together. In fact, i think the less talk about 'homosexuality' there is, and the more just good 'ol fashioned bonding and team builing, the better.

Hate usually comes from ignorance. Ignorance can be defeated by experience. Judgment can be replaced by compassion and empathy.
It's so easy to judge an entire group of people as 'this' or 'that' when you haven't met a single person of that group. But once you get to know the PEOPLE within that label, your horizons get broadened and you begin to open your mind up a little bit. You begin to care for the individual people. And once you care for and understand one, two, or even just a small handful of people within that group, you can no longer label the entire group out of blind hatred and ignorance.

I probably don't have the resources at the time to really pursue this idea. But I think it is something that should genuinely be considered by the LGBT community.

Cheers!

Completely agree. You can't convert genetics...

Originally posted by boot2theface
Completely agree. You can't convert genetics...

Exactly.
But we can convert hatred, ignorance and fear.

How about everyone just leave each other alone with their sexual inclinations. If you are gay, enjoy your life. If you are straight, enjoy your life. If you believe it is sin, enjoy your life. Don't try to change people either way. If a gay person is unsure of how their lifestyle choices relate to religious beliefs, they will ask someone for input.

Basically, each side should try to not push an agenda on the other.

reply to post by micmerci


Yep, I dont try to change gays, I really dont even know any but If I did I wouldnt and I also wouldnt tell them whos lifestyle to accept, so dont tell me what lifestyles to accept
Gays try so hard to make people accept them and their lifestyles but they arent helping their cause any with things like the Folsom Street Fair.
I dont hate, I dont care who thinks its a sin or whatever. I just choose not to associate with them.

Oh and remember, this gay conversion thing wouldnt exist without clients, nobody is forcing them into the therapy.

reply to post by eleven44


Don't hate....Not ignorant....And have no fear...


So why do I have to believe your agenda???

The problem is, if I don't believe like you, YOU think I'm a hater who is fearful and ignorant.

Swallowing the real agenda of the LGBT crowd without thinking for yourself.... all the name calling crap to make me change my beliefs. Sorry I guess I'm who you are talking to...although my "gay" friends think I,m not homophobic.

Originally posted by eleven44
Anyway, I think - and think most of you will agree - that this whole idea of 'gay conversion therapy' is simply ridiculous.

If people want to develop the heterosexual side of their nature, who are you to deny them the choice of doing so?

I think people should just learn to leave other people alone.

reply to post by micmerci


I agree 100% that people should enjoy their own lives and not try to go out of their way to force anybody to do anything. With that said, however, I do believe that if somebody is suffering ( especially if they allow their own suffering to spew on to others) then yes we should help them overcome that suffering.
The only way to do this is through experience and love.
I'm tired of not speaking out against other peoples hatred just because it is taboo. Apathy and non-action will be the downfall of this world

If you're not gay bashing, and chances are this thread has nothing to do with you.

Also, I'm not saying this should be mandatory or forced upon anybody, but if somebody is willing to open up their mind and heart, then yes I think this should be available.

It takes way too much energy to hate.

reply to post by ollncasino


I am nobody to deny anybody's choices.
if someone genuinely wishes to try heterosexuality, go ahead!

But lets be honest: most homosexuals go to this therapy because they have been taught their whole life that something is wrong with them. They have heard over and over that God does not love them. Many of them have been ostracized from friends and/or families. They dont just wake up one day and say, "hm
.. I wonder what it would be like to not be myself..."
They Are taught to have the guilt attached to their actions and their feelings.

Aside from the few gays who go out of their way to be overtly sexual in public, I believe (overall) the straight population does much more harm to the gay population than vice versa.

But again, I'm not trying to force anything on anyone. I just think it would be beneficial to provide opportunities for people to get along and learn with one another. Is that wrong?

Originally posted by dakota1s2
reply to post by eleven44

 

Don't hate....Not ignorant....And have no fear...


So why do I have to believe your agenda???

The problem is, if I don't believe like you, YOU think I'm a hater who is fearful and ignorant.

Swallowing the real agenda of the LGBT crowd without thinking for yourself.... all the name calling crap to make me change my beliefs. Sorry I guess I'm who you are talking to...although my "gay" friends think I,m not homophobic.

Actually...if you're not fearful, not a gay basher, are not trying to make gays feel like they are going to hell.... then no, chances are I'm not talking to you. It is interesting, however, that you immediately got defensive...

My ONLY agenda is to eradicate fear and hatred and usher in Love and compassion.

I dont hate haters ( hence why I'm not saying haters should be thrown into jail or punished or anything else.)
Shoot, Harboring hatred of any sort is going to do more damage to yourself then to the community you hate. Thus, this 'therapy'is would be for the benefit of the hater more so than the gay community.

Proving to homophobes that gay people are humans just like them is a nice idea, but I don't think it would work. The students would be insulted at the implication that they thought gay people came from another planet... and their disgust would remain. Homophobes are picturing the sex, you see. To them, being gay is all about the sexual act, not the loving union. Very little can be done to fix that mindset.

reply to post by antonia


So should we eliminate Alcoholics Anon and say, 'sorry, you're on your own?'

Sure, im not forcing anyone to DO anything, but i find it absurd to sit back and let haters hate. Anger and hate are the two biggest signs that the individual is desperately crying out for love.

Ex: I have an extreme dislike for olives. They make me gag. That doesn't mean i should be forced to eat and love olives. I should just stay away from olives.
But if i made it a point to go out of my way to insult and condemn others who love olives....then yes, someone should step up and say something.

reply to post by Juggernog


I agree that some actions taken by SOME of the community is definitely more detrimental to their caise than helpful.
but what is their 'cause?' What is their agenda? To be loved and let love. Most gays have felt guilty or wrong or weird their whole life. Most cant even 'come out' until after highschool. Thus, they have felt untrue to themselves and umaccepted by others their whole life.
then, all of a sudden, they are intoduced to the 'community' and finally feel free, feel loved, feel accepted for the first time... no wonder they go a little crazy and have a little too much fun!

Originally posted by eleven44
reply to post by antonia

 

So should we eliminate Alcoholics Anon and say, 'sorry, you're on your own?'

It's really simple-Gay people go on being gay, straight people get over it. Everyone gets out of each other's business. I don't think it's that difficult.

This may be nit-picking but you OP are using Homophobic for two different conditions. Homophobic is the FEAR of homosexuality not hatred. Hatred of homosexuality is just plain old fashion bigotry. There is a difference. And by the way, who are you to decide what people can and can not hate, if someone hates anything you have no say in the matter. Now acting on that hatred and harming someone in someway should be met with punishment, but the simple condition of hating someone or something is not and should not be a crime, regardless of what the thought police might want.

By the way, sexuality does not matter to me in anyway, but if a person DEFINES themselves by who they have sex with I find that rather crude, people should strive to be more than that. But to each his own, if that is the most important thing in their life, then shout away.

I see the issue as far more than sexy times.

I see the issues raised by gay people in regards to the inequality in treatment by governments. I see that as valid and a real concern. If two people love each other and wish to spend their lives together, marriage or not, it should be recognised the same as two people of different gender who wish to spend their lives together.

If a married couple are given rights under law that treat them as a couple and not individuals, then the same should apply to two people of any gender who feel that way about each other.

This is where I see the problem, and I see the bigotry of the elected persons who hold religious values while in a political office. You can keep religion out of politics, but you cannot keep religious people out of it.

And it's these religious idiots in power that make absurd immoral laws and then rally the religious populace with lies and propaganda in order to secure their vote.

BUT...

stop dressing up like nuns and priests and dry humping each other in public as a display of your tolerance.. thanks.

Originally posted by Carreau
This may be nit-picking but you OP are using Homophobic for two different conditions. Homophobic is the FEAR of homosexuality not hatred. Hatred of homosexuality is just plain old fashion bigotry. There is a difference. And by the way, who are you to decide what people can and can not hate, if someone hates anything you have no say in the matter. Now acting on that hatred and harming someone in someway should be met with punishment, but the simple condition of hating someone or something is not and should not be a crime, regardless of what the thought police might want.

By the way, sexuality does not matter to me in anyway, but if a person DEFINES themselves by who they have sex with I find that rather crude, people should strive to be more than that. But to each his own, if that is the most important thing in their life, then shout away.

What I imply would be completely voluntary, not mandatory whatsoever.
I don't think anyone should be punished for hating. Hating is punishment enough. The stress it puts on the body takes a physical and emotional toll.
I'm not speaking really to people who would just prefer to not be around gay people and instead focus their time, love and energy on their own lives and those around them.
I AM speaking, however, to those who go out of their way to hate, condemn, judge, and belittle gay people.

I am no one special to force people to love.
But I think it absurd to allow people to wallow in hate, especially when they allow that hate to spew forth onto others.

I think the same type of group should be offered for Republicans and Democrats to become friends and see past differences. I think the same thing should be offered for people who fear Muslims. Etc. Etc.

Again, these groups would be OFFERED, not forced upon anyone. BUT, it is a fact that all hatred (at least when said hatred becomes a focus of a person) stems from some sort of fear, that fear usually stems from ignorance, that ignorance stems from non-experience. All I am proposing is that we offer an a chance for people from two 'opposing' group to have a chance to experience individual people from the other group in order to open the minds and hearts of all involved. Again, as I said in the OP, I even think the less talk about homosexuality (or any kind of sexuality) the better. This isn't about forcing someone to agree with or even 'accept' the sexual acts of someone else, but this IS about getting people to see that individuals are FAR MORE than just their sexual preferences.

It amazes me at the amount of hostility this idea has been met with.

Originally posted by winofiend


stop dressing up like nuns and priests and dry humping each other in public as a display of your tolerance.. thanks.

Hahaha...I'm sorry, but...what?

I could be sarcastic in my response and say: But what else are 'we' suppose to do with our Tuesday nights? (even though I am not apart of the gay 'we' myself.)

Or, I could be slightly more serious and say: Are you serious? Do you really think all gay people dress up like nuns and priests and hump each other? That's the exact kind of ignorance I am speaking of. I know a LOT of gay people (I went to Art School...) but not ONE of them I know is overly flamboyant or has participated in such activities. Honestly, with at least half of them, you wouldn't even think they were gay. They don't go out of their way to define themselves as 'gay' either.
BUT, almost all of them have experienced hatred from other people.
One of my best friends (who grew up in a very small Alabama town) explained it to me like this:
"Do you know how terrifying it is to be out in the woods with a group of hillbillies and their girlfriends and have one guy just turn to you and out of nowhere and ask, 'Are you a faggot?'"
I asked if he told the truth.
"Of course not! Not then. They would have beat the sh*t out of me and left me for dead."
And he's not joking. (He's 38 now, so this would have been back over 20 years ago.)

I don't think anyone should have to go through that just because of who they chose to LOVE. But, yes, I do think people should be called out when they chose to HATE.

We can't change homosexuals into heterosexuals because HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A LEARNED BEHAVIOR.
We CAN however convert the hatred within people to at least a peaceful tolerance because HATE AND FEAR ARE LEARNED BEHAVIORS.

Originally posted by eleven44


I think a class like this would be great. It could get people to just hang out and have fun together. In fact, i think the less talk about 'homosexuality' there is, and the more just good 'ol fashioned bonding and team building, the better.

^^ Really? People are against that idea? ^^