posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 04:11 PM
I'm not sure that I believe in one iota of this 2012 Mayan stuff. Not because I doubt in the knowledge of ancient cultures of the world, but mostly
because I don't have faith in humanity to better itself beyond the scope of individualistic egotism. (I guess I'm an optimistic cynic haha. I hope
for the best, but expect the worst.)
Anyhow, this year has brought on more changes around me than any single year I can remember...Somehow 2012 is shaping my life and surroundings moreso
than any other year.
At the start of the year I lost my job of 4 years. I, too, was gaining management experience and felt like I was on the fast-track to a career...or at
least, a good resume filler. I then lost my job with only about 3 days notice beforehand. The store just shut down and the regional manager didn't
notify us at all (even though they'd been planning on it.)
I was planning to continue my education at the university to specialize in archaeology. That job was the whole crux of paying for university-level
education. So, I couldn't realize my academic goals at that point either. Needless to say, I haven't been able to find work ALL YEAR! I was
overqualified for this job, underqualified for that one. I had two interviews all year, I think. I just got turned down for another 2 jobs yesterday
My grandfather (really, the only paternal influence in my life) died unexpectedly this year as well. It was a tremendous loss for me. It's ironic
though. He was teaching me how to work on cars (a new skill to me.) And only a few months after he passed the engine of my first car (which he bought
for me) died. I had to sell it for scrap. It's weird, but I have never dealt with death before. No one close to me has ever died before this year.
I used to play inline hockey the last couple of winters. This year, I can't seem to skate as well as I used to. I have two bad hip joints and I think
they're finally catching up with me. I am 23 and need two hip replacements (related to cancer treatments etc.) One of my passions in life--really, my
ultimate stress reliever was hockey. No in-line hockey..no NHL season this year either. Another first.
And this week, my best friend for the last 10 years--seems to have just disappeared. I can't find him. I can't get a hold of him. I got a strange
call from an investigator or someone asking about him (I'm not sure who called, but they called at 3AM and then again the next day in the evening.) I
didn't know what to do. I didn't know anything about him. But, now I can't seem to get a hold of my friend. I don't know if he's dead, or in
prison (not sure why he would be), or what! I am at a loss.
It sounds like a really bad year for me...and it was! But somehow in all of this tumult, I have found a bit of a serenity and humbleness. I don't
feel like all these changes are out to defeat me. I feel like I'm learning to just let go and adapt--to find the silver lining in all.
My car breaks down? Heck, more walking and bicycling. My grandfather passed? Well, he passed on a great deal of knowledge and wisdom to me. No hockey?
Well, I'm doing more reading and writing lately (another passion of mine that I had almost forgotten.)
I feel like all my attachments are being absolved--some of the shackles are being loosened. If I had to guess based on my own experience, I'd say
2012 was the year that I learned and changed the most.
All the old, stable constructs of my life are crumbling. That probably means it's time to build something new and more flexible.