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Originally posted by vapor
... where is that huge terror attack that is supposed to keep bush in office? none of these has happened and it's getting crunch time...
I just want to say that we are terribly terribly sorry that the 'terrorist' attack did not occur on schedlue as planned. We are aware that you were expecting and even needing it and we apologise for this, yet there were some unforseen problems that caused dificulties toward the implementation of the 'plan' and we felt you, and 'John Q Public' should be aware that even the best plans of mice and men "aft gang aglay" as they say. Our principle driver was arrested just last month for drunken driving, and lacking proper identification and being subject himself to a rather nasty attitude when he has been imbibing "got into it" with the local constabulatory agency. We are unable to arrange bail at this time as with every appearance before the magistrate, his bail climbs as the magistrate does not appreciate that his obstinate attitude prevents him from a proper apology as 'required' by law. Of course these events set our already unstable and highly strung weapons expert into a tizzy fit, whereupon he he decided to rework all of his devices while in a drug induced state of hallucination and ended up 'removing' certain parts of his own body in a rather personally damaging way. We hope and pray that he will recover soon. This of course was not the end of the terrorist teams misfortunes. The security operatives for the action were off playing cards one night and decided during their normally drunken card game to play the knife-hand game which resulted in the loss of sensation and use of one of the security operatives hands, unfortunately this was the heavy weapons operative and it was his trigger hand. In his pain he accidentally emptied the contents of his sidearm with his left hand through the other two security operatives rendering them unable to participate in the mission either. As I stated before, we do apologise for any inconvenience this sudden and extremely unfortunate turn of events has caused, if you wish, we will attempt to stage the terrorist action some time in the next year or two.