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One Last Breath [2013]

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posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:15 PM
She gasped again, as she splashed the icy cold water against her face once again. Kneeling beside the cold February stream, ice striated across the surface, she trembled.

She had just killed a man, and she was only sixteen.

Her father was a druid, ages ago, before everything collapsed, but he had told her what was going to transpire, and prepared her. She learned to shoot guns during her childhood, and after the bullets ran out, her father taught her how to make bows from willow branches and and how to fletch arrows from bird feathers. At ten yards, she could throw a knife to bullseye.

The man was going to rape her. She knew it, and she took his life, a predisposed jury with no appeal, and she felt dirty. She had slit his throat, and watched his blood pour from his neck, with his pants around his ankles, while his member stood firm. She felt dirty because he never saw the knife slide from the sheath behind her right hip.

One more splash of water brought her back to reality. She was alone.

Her father maybe dead, but she didn't know for sure. The mob at the last town had surrounded them as they foraged for supplies, and her father told her to RUN as the crowd surrounded them. He had taught her to flee to survive, and she ran like the wind.

Now she was alone. She was going back, to hunt, and kill them one by one. She would find her father, or avenge his death.

She found the town, and hid in the shadows. She located her father, a withered butchered husk of the man he once was. He was still alive, barely, and when he noticed her peering into his cell, he hissed at her. She left him there, and waited till nightfall.

She whispered, then, into the dark, "Dad!"

"Are you crazy?" came the response from the darkness.

"Are you?"

She heard him slight across the floor, knowing he had slipped his bonds, but was weak from hunger. To her, it mattered only to get him away from this hell, and she would spend her last breath to rescue him. He got captured to allow her to escape. It's about family now, she thought. He's all I have left.

She slipped the lock, and reached into the cell to extract her father, giving him a brief hug while he gasped in pain. She offered her shoulder, and he took it as they slipped off into the night, trudging silently along, away from the hell that reality had become, and off into a world uncertain.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:37 PM
reply to post by Druid42

Another grim picture of the future. SnF.

Well written and gritty.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:41 PM
reply to post by beezzer

Thought I'd keep it grim for now. Thanks for stopping by!

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:43 PM
Very nice.

So nice in fact, that I would like to know more of the characters, and the hows.......


posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:47 PM
Oh man, that is the crutch of all futuristic challenges to come in the worst case scenario. I liked how you made her sensitive to what she must do but through her training was able to step up to the plate when tshtf. I also appreciated her willingness to risk it all in her loyalty. Very good story.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:48 PM
reply to post by sonnny1

I have to agree fully on that and would also love to read more.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:50 PM
reply to post by sonnny1

You should know by now that I tend towards condensed bits that beg to tease out details. Stretch the imagination.

I'll be entering more this month. Stay tuned.

Appreciate the flag, of course.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:52 PM
reply to post by antar

Something about both characters that grabbed me right away.

Their conviction to each other, as a Father and Daughter have. The willingness to go through life together, as a family?

You cant beat it.

Yes, I do want more of this story.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:52 PM

Compelling, very, very compelling! Great structure and tone! LOVED IT!


posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:52 PM
reply to post by antar

Thanks for reading! I tried to keep it short, and pack in as much detail as possible.

I'll be entering again this month, as well should you!

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:53 PM
reply to post by Druid42

Don't be a tease!

I will be checking in, to see if there is "more" to this story........

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:56 PM
reply to post by Hefficide

Hey, thanks for reading! Compliments always work too.

posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 11:58 PM
reply to post by sonnny1

Perhaps, my friend. Or maybe, something you'll really like. Got my writing game back after a month of poetry.

Besides, after this month, it MAY be the end!

posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 05:56 PM
reply to post by Druid42

That was an enjoyable read !!

and off into a world uncertain.

....and....and.....AND..... !!!!

Well, you could be a cruel Druid and leave us hanging till we all die on the 21st....

But I would prefer more please...

S&F !

posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 10:31 PM
reply to post by SonoftheSun

I was thinking about keeping the theme for my next entry, and developing the story a bit more.

Yeah, I'll cave to the demand. Warning, it may not be pretty.

edit on 12/4/12 by Druid42 because: spelling

posted on Dec, 5 2012 @ 11:37 AM
Very nice, S & F! I like the "dark side"....only when we go to the edge of the dark abyss and peer over, can we appreciate the light that we are currently enjoying.

But for how long...??

I like that you made the heroine a young girl, like in one of my favorite books, "Swan Song" by Robert McCammon.

LOL on the rapist's "member" it dropped as quickly as he did.

posted on Dec, 5 2012 @ 03:55 PM
I really hope one can count on his/her surroundings when TSHTF, not sure it will be reality but Good read

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