How do you deal with someone, who won't ever help themselves?

Ah yes. Good ole' fashioned misery. Lovely, is it not?
The best thing you can do is RUN AS FAR AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN and never look back.

A person will be who they will be, and there is very little that will change them.
These people are grown-up babies. They have little empathy and always consider themselves first... like a baby. Except, real babies have a legitimate excuse.

These people will drain every last bit of your life-force until you become just like them: Completely miserable.

I once had a very similar situation. When I moved away from the hellish environment that I was in, things changed for the better. A complete reversal of my once miserable reality.

Suddenly, life became about me and MY own problems.
I was able to live life normally.
My skin even looked better.
I was able to sleep deeply...at last.
My appetite returned and I now have a healthy weight.
My confidence returned - as a result, speaking to beautiful Women came easily to me.
My money is my MY money. I don't pay for anybody else's expenses anymore.
I'm able to afford a car. Yeah, a car.
I'm at.........shall I say......No, I shouldn't...Screw it...PEACE!!!
Yes, peace. Finally.

It only took about 20 years.

Yuh, till she moves, I can't find me a man.

Bah

Sounds like you should seek an eviction order with and additional no contact restraining order.
Then perhaps this person can bootstrap themselves with some social service agencies.
Year, I know it's a difficult and emotionally draining procedure - I had to have my own motrh committed by court order no less than three time because she was totally out of control after discontinuing her bipolar meds upon deciding she wouldn't seek treatment for her stage 3 cancer. SDHe dies at home of self inflicted morphin eoverdose. I never shed a tear because there was no human loss of lif at that point, merely a shell.

ganjoa

I can totally relate to this thread.

I have dealt with a "friend" for fourteen years. Her husband dumped her after helping her spend her settlement from an injury on the job. Of course she is disabled. I won't go into details of everything that has occured in the last fourteen years, but she came to live with us for the third time in November last year.
After six months my husband said enough. In May he told her she had until August 1st to figure something out. July 31st rolled around and she hadn't done squat. My husband stuck to his guns and we took her to the nearest mid-sized town.
First we tried human services office...they couldn't do anything for her but gave an address for the section 8 housing. They required all kinds of documentation, i.e. birth certificate and more, plus they had a very long waiting list. So, we took her to a motel that she could rent a room monthly. As far as I know she is still there.

I hated doing that to someone who had been my friend for so long, but the relief is unimaginable.

I don't know, what irks me the most is always hearing this......

"Have a nice day"

It makes me cringe....

While I bust my arse running around school all day, then straight to work till almost 10 to 11 PM, then coming home to study until almost to 2AM, then waking up in the morning again at 7am to 8am.... It's just exhausting. It's exhausting to hear that everyday while she can be a dog and sleep all day or play on facebook 24 seven. 7 days a week, it's not 5. Work had me for months straight on weekends at 7am in the morning.

I just wanted some sleep and some rest. I finally got it. But still, it just irks me when she always says that. I've even told her that.

reply to post by Manhater


Well that's good that you told her - is she passive-aggressive or emotionally hard to deal with for you?

Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by Manhater

 

Well that's good that you told her - is she passive-aggressive or emotionally hard to deal with for you?

Yes, you haven't lived with her. She said she's going to move to her friend's that she knew 15 years ago. Dreading to see how that turns out.

Originally posted by FeelingPure
Maybe you should invite her to the ATS community

Here, I hand picked this song from Youtube specifically for you.

Because you're a shooting star

Okay, you got me stuck on this song now. I hate you.

This is an awesome song.

Originally posted by Manhater

Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by Manhater

 

Well that's good that you told her - is she passive-aggressive or emotionally hard to deal with for you?

Yes, you haven't lived with her. She said she's going to move to her friend's that she knew 15 years ago. Dreading to see how that turns out.

I sure hope that isn't me

reply to post by Manhater


I've lived with someone very similar, this guy was very emotional and made a lot of suicide threats and some homicide threats directed at people besides me, telling me in secret. He was also passive-aggressive... he was successful in school for sure, but depressed socially.

reply to post by Manhater


Good to see you enjoying it! I knew you could not resist it.