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How do you deal with someone, who won't ever help themselves?

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posted on Dec, 1 2012 @ 11:33 PM
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I'm am to the point where I done with the it all. My dad doesn't know how to handle her. But I'm stuck dealing with her. When he goes, she's out the door. Period. I'm sick of the excuses of a tumor in the brain. I've seen the x-rays, she does have a tumor, she still acts normal. There's no excuse why she can't get a job, or drive. Her daughter is only crazy because of her. She's her own little pharmacy. Ugh, I'm about to lose my mind. But for now I have to live her, only because I tried to be nice. "Screw that". Sick of her throwing it in my face that "I'm not mother", "I pay rent", I"I don't have to clean". The only place she goes, is the computer and her bedroom. "Screw that". ..........."Now she wants to relinquish her license for narcolepsy"........... Give me a dang break.....She didn't have a problem getting down here from the disease ..........but she she owes a ticket from here, that I will end paying for, AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. why I can't have normal family? So annoyed, it's annoying. Truly pathetic, I survived this long with her.
edit on 1-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 1 2012 @ 11:40 PM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


Reading only your headline I just lost my best friend of 40 years.
Why? He was an alcoholic who had been through rehab 4 times only to start again.
His wife threw him out, his parents kicked him out and I did the same.
He wouldn't help himself.
Am I sad?
Sorta, but not enough so to not be angry with him for being so self-destructive.

If it's bad enough you may have to cut your ties and bid them adieu.
They made their choice, you shouldn't have to suffer for it.

Reading your post I wouldn't change what I said.
They made the choice - you shouldn't have to suffer for it.
Don't do anything more for them.
edit on 1-12-2012 by Asktheanimals because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 1 2012 @ 11:43 PM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


I am a little confused about the order of events and what happened, but it sounds frustrating. Sorry to hear that. I've had my share of trouble dealing with people myself, although in different ways - they are confusing.



posted on Dec, 1 2012 @ 11:45 PM
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Stop helping them and let them hit bottom, even if it kills them. Some people just need to learn the hard way. Some never learn. Its life. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.

If they don't want your self you are just wasting your time, when they crash and burn it'll just be harder on you, you might even blame yourself for not trying hard enough. It's not your fault, its theirs, and you need to convince yourself of that.



posted on Dec, 1 2012 @ 11:51 PM
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I'm not throwing her out, I would never do that, I do want too though.

But now, she throws it's in my dad's face, "I'm the favorite child. I'm not her mother, I don't have listen to her, Don't tell me what to do crap".

I am sick of the of the stupid excuse why she couldn't pay a parking ticket for a full year? She has no excuse. Or why not to renew her license her license that costs only 10 bucks??



I bust my arse everyday for a puny paycheck. She sits on her arse everyday making my paycheck. Does that not irk you off?


Yes she has tumor, but she drove just fine down here, sent me through hell with her kid and back, before I threw her kid out.


edit on 1-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:01 AM
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this is very frustrating, i know. when you're ready to give up dig deep and find the strength to keep going. it's just our own selfish needs to not have to deal with any kind of drama, our own lives are enough of an everyday struggle but we have to be there for those closest to us and remember.. karma is a real thing. i'm sure she may be giving up because of what her future holds. good luck.



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:01 AM
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I really can't talk to her. She makes it about herself and no one else. And if you do, she runs or cries to someone else, that you make about her. She needs a serious intervention, that I have no clue to wake her up in.
edit on 2-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:04 AM
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Sounds like a few people live with "dad".
Has anyone thought about moving out on there own? Most likely you, OP?



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:07 AM
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Maybe you should invite her to the ATS community


Here, I hand picked this song from Youtube specifically for you.




Because you're a shooting star



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:09 AM
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Look, there are two kinds of people in this world. One who figures it out and then rolls with it, and one that needs a swift kick in the head every now and again and at times needs not to just get burned by the fire, but get disfiguring third degree burns from it.

Some people never become functioning human beings. You need to accept this.

Mind you, some haven't found their outlet yet. Some never do. Try that first, if not, kick to the head.
edit on 12/12/2 by metaldemon2000 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:12 AM
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Originally posted by Manhater
she runs or cries to someone else
edit on 2-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)


How old is she? and is she your sister?



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:21 AM
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Your sister has a tumor in her brain. How do you know that isn't affecting how she acts? My brother-in-law died from a brain tumor. Is it operable? I would think her health is more important right now.



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:26 AM
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Originally posted by staple
Sounds like a few people live with "dad".
Has anyone thought about moving out on there own? Most likely you, OP?


I own the house dude. That's what makes the situation hard.
edit on 2-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:30 AM
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Originally posted by metaldemon2000
Look, there are two kinds of people in this world. One who figures it out and then rolls with it, and one that needs a swift kick in the head every now and again and at times needs not to just get burned by the fire, but get disfiguring third degree burns from it.

Some people never become functioning human beings. You need to accept this.

Mind you, some haven't found their outlet yet. Some never do. Try that first, if not, kick to the head.


That will be another excuse from her. Forgot it. Don't' give her another excuse.
edit on 2-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:33 AM
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Originally posted by Night Star
Your sister has a tumor in her brain. How do you know that isn't affecting how she acts? My brother-in-law died from a brain tumor. Is it operable? I would think her health is more important right now.


Her health has been fine up to her divorce. Now, all sudden everyone is out to get her. Okay, lets make it about her............



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:36 AM
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Her kid never took a shower here. But's that's the dad fault. Never the mothers. So, who do we blame it on? kid should have taken a freaking dang bath sometime in between?
edit on 2-12-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:45 AM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


Or easier. You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends or nose..



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:46 AM
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Originally posted by Manhater

Originally posted by Night Star
Your sister has a tumor in her brain. How do you know that isn't affecting how she acts? My brother-in-law died from a brain tumor. Is it operable? I would think her health is more important right now.


Her health has been fine up to her divorce. Now, all sudden everyone is out to get her. Okay, lets make it about her............


You sound a little uptight, have you ever stopped to consider that maybe you are a difficult person and that this fact is further agitating the situation.

The way you word things, builds a strong case for this.

And your name "manhater", leads me to believe you have a hate on towards a certain gender which would further my point if true because it would only serve to prove that you have irrational thinking patterns. My guess is one or possibly a few men have done you wrong and you would condemn all of us due to the actions off a few idiots.
edit on 12/12/2 by metaldemon2000 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:50 AM
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Originally posted by metaldemon2000

Originally posted by Manhater

Originally posted by Night Star
Your sister has a tumor in her brain. How do you know that isn't affecting how she acts? My brother-in-law died from a brain tumor. Is it operable? I would think her health is more important right now.


Her health has been fine up to her divorce. Now, all sudden everyone is out to get her. Okay, lets make it about her............


You sound a little uptight, have you ever stopped to consider that maybe you are a difficult person and that this fact is further agitating the situation.

The way you word things, builds a strong case for this.


Have you stopped to consider she has every right in the world to be uptight???

Or difficult?

SHE is agitating the situation?? when it's her helpfulness and concern that placed her in it??

why is manhater responsible for being the perfect nice person in this situation?



posted on Dec, 2 2012 @ 12:52 AM
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I once worked with the most kindhearted and caring women, didn't have a bad word to say about anyone or anything. A freak really lol. Then one day, almost overnight she changes. Turned into the most horrible troll, everyone was shocked at first. Then people started disliking her.

Turns out she had brain tummors, this infact changed her personality, she dies 6 mths after she found out. Left behind young children, very sad. Anyway my point being without making excuses for your problem person. Could it be her problem, could it have been the reason behind he divorce.

Who knows, not really much I suppose you can do to change her. Maybe just look after yourself. Or try and find her somewhere else to live. Or lastly your just after a place to vent your frustrations & don't really expect solutions. Therefore vent away, it sometimes helps



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