I cannot handle this

reply to post by mee30


Actually when we go out I do wonder if this could be the last day on earth, I mean with everything going on it is hard not to be negative, and I meant that our family was always strong, we might not of been rich but things were never like this.

This Friday mom goes to talk to a union rep about perhaps some financial aid to help us, It wasn't clear whether she would get the help or not but I guess we all will know before the weekend.

Mom was told it would not be much but as I have said before, anything is better then nothing, I am trying to get my dad onto SSI because his arthritis is so bad that I think he honestly got fired because he wasn't able to do his job fast enough and in a way sadly I can understand that.

reply to post by mydarlia

Actually when we go out I do wonder if this could be the last day on earth, I mean with everything going on it is hard not to be negative, and I meant that our family was always strong, we might not of been rich but things were never like this.

But it doesn't stop you going out... right?

Yeah things are bad for sure, there is not much I can say other than to try and be positive but it doesn't really help much. Besides I would be a bit of a hypocrite as I find myself in a similar thought pattern from time to time myself... You will make it though, even if things feel hopeless right now.

In life I think we just have to live for the good days and try our best to forget the bad... There is not much else we can do...

I know the feeling. It sounds like you're worse of than me but I'm a formerly healthy man who came down with a nasty case of atrial fibrillation plus a few other problems. Now I have to take care of my elderly mother who has alzheimers and is nearly deaf. The a-fib makes me short winded so I can't really communicate as I have yell short messages several times for her to get it. I don't know about you but I can tell ya that I thank God for ATS. I may be stuck at home in a depressing situation , but I've always enjoyed the free exchange of ideas and the sheer yeastiness of this place allows me to let my mind out a good romp through the countryside . I find it a wonderful distraction . So just do what you can , things do change eventually .

reply to post by mee30


no, you are right it does not stop me from going out, I just don't want anything to happen and then dad gets caught and mom gets more stressed and it becomes a vicious circle.

reply to post by thudpuddy


I agree, ATS is a great site, when i first joined I thought it was just about UFO and thingies but as time went on i realized these people are a nice knit group even if we don't all agree all the time.

reply to post by mydarlia

no, you are right it does not stop me from going out, I just don't want anything to happen and then dad gets caught and mom gets more stressed and it becomes a vicious circle.

I hear ya and it is true, so be careful, just like when you drive...

Considering the circumstances I think you have every right to look after yourselves any way you see fit. As long as you don't hurt anyone along the way.

reply to post by mee30


I just hope that soon something breaks and we actually get a break, I mean i still would love to throw my older brother outside and leave him there, and me and my younger brothers have discussed that if and when mom passes, there are going to be new rules.

Mom always helped and paid for my older sister to be a dumb idiot and she paid for my older brothers, she always tried to protect them, but no more.

reply to post by mydarlia

What happens in situations like this? do they just burn the body? do they hold it somewhere? so much on my mind and all you guys get to deal with me, I am sorry, thank you for allowing me to vent yet again

You go into a potter's field, with an unmarked grave in most cases, or cremated and then sent to a potter's field. Instead of blaming God, why don't you praise him for your troubles? If you want to piss off Satan and cut his attacks on you Hallelu-Yah instead, it'll get to the point he'll start leaving you alone when you give Yahveh the glory.

Or, you can file it under stuff happens, and instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you dig down deep and reach that intestinal fortitude and lash out with an indomitable spirit, that no matter how tough it gets you won't give up, and you claw your way out of your hole.

reply to post by mydarlia


Sometimes you have to make your own breaks though... Just go with whatever you feel is right... I have sent you a u2u. Hope it helps...

Chin up.

reply to post by lonewolf19792000


I don't blame god..it is more of like please don't do anything else, and what the heck did my family do to deserve this, and i wish this next part was a joke but i went to check on mom and I tripped, heard my big toe crack and now i can't step on it fully.

I am going to go rest and sit with mom, I'll be back on here later, please take care.

Most families in your situation would easily qualify for food assistance (food stamps). I know it's hard to accept that route. It could be hundreds of dollars a month in food for a large family. You have to fill out a few forms, but it's not impossible and could alleviate a little of the burden so you can pay a bill or two.

There's also food kitchens in most cities. Also hard to accept but if you're not able to buy food or receive assistance it's a last option.

You can either cause friction with your sibling who's a deadbeat, or accept them for your mother's sake. Unless you can somehow force them to help out then you can accept it and move on, or remove yourself from the situation if you feel you must.

The only thing I can think to suggest is to attempt to find any redeeming skill they might have that they wouldn't mind doing to help the family. When you involve a person's interests, ego, and compassion (if they have any), then it just might work. Try to look at things as, "what can I do", instead of, "I can't do, because". I can't fly or sing particularly well, but I don't dwell on those things. It doesn't help. What helps and instantly changes my mood and energy is trying to find things I can do to further what I want.

I'm sorry to hear what u are going thru. sometimes life throws a little too much at us at once and we're not sure if we can handle it. Just don't quit minutes before the miracle happens. good luck.

peace.

reply to post by Isee1111


I am accepting the older brother, and only for mom, he said he cannot get a job because his state ID expired, tomorrow I am selling some old DVD's and CD's to give him the money for his ID.

I found a food bank that will give him a weekly food basket for 20 dollars a month, and he better go and do this, because we cannot go on like this.

Just found out my new power bill arrived on top of the previous bill, the bill is 471.51, my youngest brother called on his work break, he said he can give me 45 a week to help pay it.

That might be enough to keep the power company from turning it off, I am going to try to see if I can get moms Doctor or my older brothers doctor to give me a note saying they need a medical expense cut on my bill.

It's not like its cheating, just is all new to me, i have always had the bills paid on time.. until July of this year and then WHAM!!

Mom told me I should use my medical card to see an ER doctor about my darn toe, it won't bend at all now, but all they will do is either say I broke it or say nothing they can do for a toe.

Good Lord, when it rains it pours! Go have the toe checked! And get some rest, you need it!

I know, I got my foot propped up with 2 ice cubes in a baggie, going to see if that helps, and if it doesn't I'll go to see a doctor when my brothers get home from work...they really are going to "enjoy" that..

So sick of seeing doctors because of mom, at least her doctors are nice and try to make the family feel comfortable.

As mom just asks when my brothers are coming home, she worries so much about us.

She needs to get some sleep but she can't and her doctor still hasn't called us back about her restlessness

You are showing so much courage and strength and I am so proud of you. This is the ATS community and it is why I joined. You are my extended family. I care about what happens to you and your family. I join with you and others and we agree together that things will change for the better. For those of us Christian believers this is what we believe.

New International Version (©1984)
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

For those of other faiths I believe they are sending their prayers, good thoughts and good wishes to you as well.

reply to post by mydarlia


I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Remember to appreciate what you do have. It's easy for others to say stuff like that but just be grateful for the small things.

People do care and I hope things improve for you soon. Whenever you want to talk you always have your friends here on ATS.

reply to post by cavalryscout


Thank you for the encouragement, I just feel so frazzled, one thing that helps me is trying to see this from my moms eyes..and when I do, it becomes more scary but on a new level, I know my moms not ready to leave us yet, and a few days ago she was actually falling asleep standing up, she is that exhausted, yet she keeps fighting.

I try to be the one who makes her laugh, I keep thinking to myself that as long as she can smile and laugh, there is still hope.

The one tiring thing for me is getting up every 2 hours for her medicine, I was so tired today that i didn't even hear a loud thing of thunder..and the rest of the family did.. I was like..thunder? really? nope, didn't hear a thing. which of course made them all look at me like I was nuts