posted on Nov, 28 2012 @ 07:50 PM
I am a feminist, if feminism means true equality in freedom, employment, pay, rights, and treatment by fellow human beings. I'm also feminist (or
perhaps post-feminist) in the sense that I think women can be as feminine or fashion-conscious as they want (even though personally fashion is a
foreign concept to me lol) without doing it for men, and still be independent in thought and action. (Though I have also encountered women who tell
themselves they do this for themselves, but definitely do it for others, which is unfortunate in my opinion.)
I don't think we can talk about feminism in general without acknowledging that globally, even if not domestically anymore (though that's
debatable,) women are still highly oppressed. Things may be much better here, but this is not the case everywhere. And as Martin Luther King said,
"Injustice anywhere, is a threat to justice everywhere."
However, with all of that having been said, I do definitely perceive - at least in the U.S. where I live - an incredibly anti-male bias and a lot of
double standards that do lead me to believe that the pendulum has indeed swung a bit too far in the opposite direction... at least in certain
The legal system's pro-female bias is one such area. My father dealt with this particular issue despite being the more mentally stable, gainfully
employed, level headed of the two parties, so I have seen it happen. He suffered greatly because of this and is only now recovering psychologically
from it, though he would never admit that. We are close and I can tell.
Another area is socially. I had a female therapist tell me to change the clothes I wear because they would make me confident. I assured her that my
social anxiety (which stems from my Asperger's and how I process stimuli) had nothing to do with my clothes, and that dressing humbly and without
regard for what others think of me superficially was part of my principles. She then proceeded to patronizingly tell me (though I have no doubt that
her intentions were good from her point of view,) "Here's what people might think of you when they see you dressed this way. Poor. Lazy. Slob..."
She went on and on. Dressed me down. As someone who is horribly nervous around women and has a deep seated desire to be accepted by them, this was
When I went to my female friends - or who I thought were friends - for support, I was told she was right, and that I should be expected to dress as
women would perceive as acceptable and that it was normal and should be expected that I would be shunned if I didn't. One even said I was
"delusional" for expecting otherwise.
If a man - any man - told a woman how to dress, much less to dress as men would find aesthetically pleasing - which I would never dream of doing mind
you, most women would cry bloody murder. This was a hurtful and humiliating experience that I didn't even recognize the psychological impact of until
much later. It led to a period of depression and isolation. Which I actually had a woman subsequently tell me was me being "weak." Whereas female
friends in my life would always come to me when they felt similarly expecting (and receiving) comfort, I was expected to be "strong" and masculine
in the face of my own pain. My circle of friends evaporated after this.
This is just one personal experience, but seems to be a microcosm of the kinds of double standards and bias against men that are beginning to become
the norm today. Don't get me wrong, though. Globally, women remain oppressed. And even here, things like equal pay are hard to secure, and there is
still sexism and maltreatment of girls and women which are both still huge problems that should be eliminated if we are to progress to being a more
equal, fair society. But it has recently become acceptable for women to treat men poorly, and I'm just being honest... it hurts.