Dear DW, I too have experienced what you've described, so perhaps there's a bit of comfort in knowing that what you're going through is not
uncommon to those with thinner skins. So here are some things to consider...do you realize how LUCKY you are to be able to experience these feelings,
and at that level of complexity? To be aware of all that's going on in your/our world and be able to register and describe it? Yes, LUCKY! How
lucky you are to have a wife to LOVE and be loved by her, to share these experiences with? To be healthy (you are reasonably healthy, yes? If not,
perhaps you should get a checkup and have your thyroid checked
) I learned way too late that mine was under-active (for reasons I'm still not
aware of); and getting it regulated has made literally a world of difference, especially in my outlook on the world. Are the problems still there?
Yes, they are. Hmmm, what to do about them? Nothing. What? Yes, nothing, because you, I or anyone else didn't come here to fix the world. We
came here for the ride itself, to see perhaps the greatest show on Earth; and what you're now going through is part of that ride, and the only way
you're going to get through it (and a new lease on life) is to retrain your brain to feel greatful (misspelling intended) about everything you are
and have. To say: Thank you God (or Universe), thank you for everything!!! Thank you that I'm not the sod who'd start a fight if he had a Stella,
thank you for the food in front of me, and the water, the roof over my head, and my senses to experience them, my body, my soul, etc. Thank you
Universe for taking the shape of ME! Because, one day, as well you know, you will no longer be here in your earthly spacesuit to enjoy the ride; and
you will move on to something somewhere else; and wouldn't you want to look back that one last time and say, Wow, it was great to have been ME? What
a ride that was!
So, if you are sick of the madhouse and want to change it, change yourself 1st, to paraphrase Gandhi. Try cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude,
because it can all disappear in a flash. Once you start realizing how lucky you truly are, you'll see how things turn around. Depending on your
disposition, it may take some time (or you can have an overnight, Scrooge-like epiphany), but it will start to radiate from you, and people will pick
up on that vibe (because I'm sure the vibes you're giving off now aren't exactly attracting people to you, yes?) Perhaps people may look at you as
you walk through the streets, chest out, head held high. Perhaps you can even smile at them (because you caught them noticing you) and they might
return your smile. Perhaps one day you'll look back on this dark night of the soul you're going through, and laugh (or at least say WHEW!, that was
a close call. Glad that's in the past and that I'm my new amazing self
BTW, you belong here as much as anyone else, because you WANTED to be here. Took me a while to wrap my mind around that concept, but once I got it,
something changed...for the better. The pressure was off. I learned to "go with the flow". In fact, during one particular bad time in my life, I
saw literally on the side of a bus, an advertisement for Adam Sandler's then latest film "Just Go with It". If that wasn't a sign from the
Universe, I don't know what was!
So enough of my sermonizing (for now, anyway)...thank you for considering this.
All the best to you!