posted on Nov, 25 2012 @ 05:27 PM
I've recently had a number of experiences that at times have left me doubting my own sanity. Although I was born into a cult religion (Jehovah's
Witnesses), I spent my 20's as a staunch Atheist, thinking that the entire paranormal topic wasn't much more than wild imagination combined with
people being gullible and superstitious. Now I just sort of don't know what to think about recent occurrences. I know some of this sounds patently
ridiculous and that this is just my word, but it is what it is.
A few years ago I listened to an interview in which a professor by the name of Gary Schwartz claimed to have done double and triple blind tests on
people that claimed to be "psychic", and got surprisingly successful results. Even though I never gave it much thought before, I did some research
and decided to try out a handful of "reputable" psychics here in the NY metro area. Some were a terrible waste of money, and were less than
convincing to put it mildly. Two of them, though, knew things that were not possible for them to know. This left me baffled and sort of shook my world
view a bit. Since then I've read a number books and listened to many interviews on a wide variety of paranormal type stuff (not just psychic stuff).
I'm loathe to remove my skeptic hat, but it certainly slips off my head at times.
Laborious background info out of the way...
Roughly 6 months ago I was sitting on my recliner, not really doing much of anything other than relaxing and staring into space after a stressful week
of work. I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like a loon, but all of a sudden I heard someone with a voice that I didn't recognize saying
something to me about the car I just purchased. Immediately this put me on high alert (as I thought I was home alone) and I snapped up out of the
chair, but there was no one around and no TV, computer, or radio of any sort turned on.
This happened again a couple months later when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep. I felt myself starting to doze, when again I heard someone
mumble a few words then distinctly call me by my name. Again, I was instantly on high alert, checked out the house, and made sure the doors were
locked - but heard nothing else.
Not more than few weeks passed when I had my first ever lucid dream. I never got why people made such a big deal about lucid dreams until then. In
this dream I was being beaten and attacked by a group of people of varying ages, both male and female. I was in a hallway filled with furniture that I
kept getting knocked into. I suddenly was 100% aware that this was a dream, but didn't wake up. The people (none of whom I knew) then backed off and
stood before me. I couldn't believe what was happening, and was a bit in shock at first. The tall man in the center of the line then spoke to me, and
it was a voice that was not my own. He said "we're going to keep you here forever" and then he and the others all turned their eyes solid black to
seemingly intensify the hatred they had for me. Scary dreams are nothing new, but being fully conscious and in control of my actions made this feel
way too real for comfort. I pretty much just froze for a few seconds, then felt myself getting angry over what they were doing to me. Feeling as
though I had nothing to lose, I approached them and took a swing at the man who spoke for the group, at which point they all dissolved and I was able
to wake myself. I didn't sleep well for a while after that.
Last month the voice phenomenon happened again, but for an extended period of time. I was awake in the middle of the night AGAIN, unable to sleep. As
I do many times when I can't sleep - I put in some earbuds and find something to listen to on my iPhone. In this case, I was listening to a radio
show when I noticed the recording had a man's voice with a thick European accent in the background. It got kind of annoying, and I was wondering why
the radio host was being so careless with someone talking in close proximity to his mic. I turned up the volume and focused on the show, doing my best
to ignore the background noise. It then dawned on me that it might not be something that was part of the show. I sat up, a bit startled, and replayed
the last few minutes I had just listened to... and there was no one talking in the background this time. I used rewind, and checked again - still no
voice. I didn't sleep the rest of the night and was just sitting there basically thinking "what the hell, am I losing it?".
As a child I had occasional bouts of sleep paralysis. They freaked me out a bit, but I never saw or heard anything weird and they eventually went
away. Recently they've started again. Last Saturday night, unable to sleep as usual, I suddenly felt a weird sensation (similar to the feeling I've
had the few times I was hypnotized) accompanied by a buzzing noise. When I tried to move - I couldn't. I tried to say something to my sleeping
girlfriend next to me, but couldn't talk. I struggled for a couple moments before I was able to shake it all off, sit up, gasp for air and wake my
Back on the topic of the two psychic/mediums that I couldn't find a way to dis-credit - I paid one of them a visit last week. I asked him the
question "am I losing it, or is someone trying to talk to me?". His response was that a spirit (he called it a "guide") who "has been associated
with me since birth" has been making "visitations" since I was 6 years old, and then changed the subject back to more mundane family topics. The
skeptic side of me still has a hard time believing some of this stuff, so I didn't really know what to make of anything that he said TBH. Me from a
few years ago would have said "that's stupid". None of this stuff makes sense to me, and I don't pass judgement as quick as I used to. So again, I
just don't know.
Apologies for the long-winded post. Maybe I'm just stressed and not sleeping enough. Maybe I've read too many paranormal books and I'm imagining it
all. Doubting your own first-hand reality is a disconcerting experience. Maybe I am just losing my mind.
Has anyone gone through anything similar? Are any of these topics familiar to any of you? Why on earth would these things flare up in such a
pronounced manner when my life has basically been a rather dull affair? I don't take any prescription medication of any sort, nor do I use drugs. I
drink sometimes, but none of these things ever happen when I'm gettin' my buzz on.
TL;DR - hearing voices when I relax, threatening black-eyed people talking to me in an all-too-real lucid dream, and the return of childhood sleep
Any insights or feedback is appreciated.