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Maybe to be correct my extended family has a history of addicted personalities if that can even be possible!
Originally posted by shelookslikeone
reply to post by feelingconnected
The way I see it, grown adults should be able to do whatever they want with their own body. And everyone has their vice. Some people drink too much caffeine. Other people work too much. Some people are drama queens. Others are constantly negative. Some like to smoke cigarettes. Whatever it may be, every adult person on this planet has their vice.
I honestly don't think it's anyone's business (including family) but your own. If you want to change whatever it is that you think is negative, then only you can change that aspect of yourself. No amount of family intervention, AA meetings, helpful advice or whatever else is going to change that. And that's all that really needs to be said.
Originally posted by shelookslikeone
reply to post by feelingconnected
To be honest, I'd like to know what your problem is with people that drink? It seems like you like to put us into some group of lesser people or something, but maybe I'm just getting the wrong vibe. I'm hardly the one to take offense, but not everything in this world is sunshine and rainbows.
As someone that chooses to drink, I don't find the terms "illness" or "disease" as something that pertains to me. Nobody says a word to the guy that works 60 hours a week, smokes 3 packs a day, or chugs Coca Cola on a daily basis, but God help those that choose to have a few drinks after a long day at work. At some point, this turns into what society think is appropriate or not.
Now, on the other hand, if there is abuse due to your husband drinking, then that is an entirely different story. I don't know exactly what the situation is, but I do know that drinking stems from a bigger problem and that by saying things like "I didn't marry an alcoholic" makes it seem like you just have an issue with him doing something you don't approve of.
I'm just reading this how I see it, and honestly trying to help. I'm trying to be honest, but If I'm wrong, which is absolutely possible, then so be it. I think you really need to talk to him about what's bothering him more than even bringing up the drinking.
Originally posted by feelingconnected
Again, thank you all for more honest & personal posts. I can only imagin how you go about re-calling the memory of such a tought time in your lives. These posts really do mean a lot to me. The insights & realisations I've gained from the thread will hopefully help me and maybe help me help my partner. Who knows! Obviously the out come of my situation is the great un known.
The first thing I've come out with is to help myself and until I get to this point anything I say and do maybe hindering instead of helping. To reply to a few of you who mentioned meeting the love of your life, helped you turn your life around. That's got to be one of the most positive out comes or turning point. I would love to think my partner has met the love of his life and would help himself because I mean the world to him. I guess the alcohol call is stronger at this point.edit on 25-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: Spelling
Originally posted by shelookslikeone
reply to post by feelingconnected
To be honest, I'd like to know what your problem is with people that drink? It seems like you like to put us into some group of lesser people or something, but maybe I'm just getting the wrong vibe. I'm hardly the one to take offense, but not everything in this world is sunshine and rainbows.
As someone that chooses to drink, I don't find the terms "illness" or "disease" as something that pertains to me. Nobody says a word to the guy that works 60 hours a week, smokes 3 packs a day, or chugs Coca Cola on a daily basis, but God help those that choose to have a few drinks after a long day at work. At some point, this turns into what society think is appropriate or not.
Now, on the other hand, if there is abuse due to your husband drinking, then that is an entirely different story. I don't know exactly what the situation is, but I do know that drinking stems from a bigger problem and that by saying things like "I didn't marry an alcoholic" makes it seem like you just have an issue with him doing something you don't approve of.
I'm just reading this how I see it, and honestly trying to help. I'm trying to be honest, but If I'm wrong, which is absolutely possible, then so be it. I think you really need to talk to him about what's bothering him more than even bringing up the drinking.
Originally posted by feelingconnected
reply to post by Dustytoad
I still don't think he realises yet how bad his drinking is. Which was why I was asking the questions. To see if its common to not think you have a drinking problem. Or wether you just know but don't want to know.edit on 26-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)