Originally posted by feelingconnected
I realize this can be a touchy or highly personal subject matter. And I'm not sure I've put this in the right forum. I feel like having a rant, but
no not this thread.. If anyone is willing or interested in answering a few questions on this topic, Id love to hear from you.
OK, so where to start, well what I'm wanting to ask is -During your alcoholism be it current or past, did you or do you know you had/have a problem
with drinking? I'm really interested in this question.
How did you respond to loved ones broaching the subject, if anyone did? or did you honestly believe there to be no real problem? And anyone who
suggested your problem, was the problem.
To the recovering, what was your turning point? If your willing to share that is. Was it something major, external, internal? I guess I know there
will be many different answers depending on the person.
Lastly, did you find it easy to turn the blame of your drinking toward an innocent person or situation? Or did you even know you were doing this?
Ok, one more. How do you find recovery? Is it working for you and do you believe its possible eventually?
I would like to thank you if you've read and answered any of my questions.
ETA sorry for such a downer thread
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)
I'd like to start off by saying that I am 11 years sober, an still going strong. I believe that a lifetime of sobriety is absolutely an achievable
goal, so long as it is truly desired.
Personally, I always knew that I had a problem with the bottle. My main issue was that I had severe anxiety and would have panic attacks on a daily
basis. When I drank, all of my anxiety seemed to disappear. Eventually booze became the source of my anxiety, and it took a long time to realize
that it was actually making it worse. By then it was too late. I was drinking up to three pints of whiskey a day. I was quite literally never
sober. I lived with my alcoholic grandmother and my mother who was far too timid and afraid of losing her relationship with me to take any real
action for ten years. I won't even start on how jacked up her mentality was.
And all of my friends were boozers. I was never really confronted about it by anyone except my boyfriend, who is now my husband. And I lied my ass
off to keep his questions and fears at bay.
All of the talk about how you have to hit rock bottom before you can lift yourself up and out of it is true to an extent. It was true for me, though
someone who I was once close with has hit rock bottom, grabbed the sledge hammer and shovel, and continued his descent. You also have to want it.
You HAVE to be ready and really WANT to be sober, or you will backslide. That's just the way it is. Forced rehab rarely works. Interventions,
where you family and friends come in and lay down ultimatums, will rarely work unless you are truly ready to let go of your addiction and get past it.
I did two stints in rehab, and only came back to drink more...and more....and more.
I was very lucky. I didn't drive until after I got sober, so there was never any DUI's, or, God forbid, accidents. I never had an incident with
police, never went to jail or detox....until the night I took my very last drink. The cops were called because apparently (and I still don't
remember) I had threatened to physically harm my grandmother, whom I loved and love with all of my heart and soul. Most people have a mom and dad. I
have a mom and a mother.
The domestic violence unit of the Lakewood Police Department showed up while I was passed out on a neighbors couch. They woke me up and confronted me
with this, and I was very combative and would not cooperate. Then, out of the blue, my cousin showed up. His presence is what actually snapped me
into reality, and I suddenly had this "moment of clarity". Cliche, yes. But very real.
Again, I have to say, I was very lucky. My mother had already had a restraining order taken out on me. These cops, God Bless them, gave my family a
choice. They would take me to jail unless someone would stand up, give me a place to sleep and a second chance. My mother cried and my neighbor
stood up and said that I could stay with her. I did not go to jail. And I never took another sip of alcohol.
Something one MUST have is a solid support system. My boyfriend never had a problem with alcohol, but he quit drinking to support me in my sobriety.
I moved in with him and his grandmother, who fed me meat and potatoes for weeks on end until I had put some weight on my 98lb frame. If I hadn't had
the unconditional love and support of my family, my now husband and his wonderful family, I honestly believe I would not be here today to make this
It is not an easy thing to do. It takes constant dedication. And self control. But it is absolutely possible to get sober and stay that way! (And