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Alcoholics current and recovering, would you be interested in answering a few Q,s

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posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 08:41 AM
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I realize this can be a touchy or highly personal subject matter. And I'm not sure I've put this in the right forum. I feel like having a rant, but no not this thread.. If anyone is willing or interested in answering a few questions on this topic, Id love to hear from you.

OK, so where to start, well what I'm wanting to ask is -During your alcoholism be it current or past, did you or do you know you had/have a problem with drinking? I'm really interested in this question.
How did you respond to loved ones broaching the subject, if anyone did? or did you honestly believe there to be no real problem? And anyone who suggested your problem, was the problem.

To the recovering, what was your turning point? If your willing to share that is. Was it something major, external, internal? I guess I know there will be many different answers depending on the person.
Lastly, did you find it easy to turn the blame of your drinking toward an innocent person or situation? Or did you even know you were doing this?
Ok, one more. How do you find recovery? Is it working for you and do you believe its possible eventually?

I would like to thank you if you've read and answered any of my questions.

ETA sorry for such a downer thread
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)




posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 08:49 AM
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i'm a wino, i drink about 20- 30 oz's a night.

i'm 51, i have no health problems and i'm not on any medication- which always surprises my doctors.

i want to quit because deep down i know its wrong. not just for my health but wrong for my spirit.

i am constantly arguing with myself about quitting, or should i just accept it?- but as of yet i havent found a way to do that.

the search goes on



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 08:53 AM
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yeah Ill jump in here ....I'm recovered alkie havent drank anything since 1983. It took losing my family to even admit I had a problem. AA is right about that is the first step,admitting.

Then it has to be a day to day effort.You cant even think about the future at the beginning

I got professional help, but in the end its up to the individual to see it through.

to suceed you must learn to become some one else.....Not a drinker who isnt drinking but a person who doesnt concern themselves with it,such as I dont everthink about drinking poision. It must become a mute point.

But obviously its complicated.....my wife thinks I should write a book????

Maybe I shall



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 08:56 AM
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So do you guys think a hands on manuel from a average joe being lucky enough to find his way out might be a good read?



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 08:59 AM
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i read "the easy way to stop drinking" - didnt work for me.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:02 AM
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You have to hit rock bottom. It is a difficult road to travel, but is travel-able. My turning point was an alcohol induced seizure,after getting to the capacity of 24 beers a night over the course of 15 years drinking. Prayed for death every morning. You also HAVE to remember the shameful moments when drinking, it helps alot. Once you get some time under your belt, it gets easier, but it surfaces from time to time. Think of what mornings were like, # you said to people, people you hurt. Oh yeah find these people and tell em your sorry. Good for your heart ! Look at what you have now. I have 9 years sobriety with one set back. I have a wife, beautiful child, home im purchasing, own a design and build landscaping firm for past 9 years. Still digging out though. Running from responsibilities accumulates monetarily and dont go away!
Hope this helps a bit!



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:04 AM
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reply to post by lonewolf10
 


Lonewolf no disrespect, but I dont believe there is an EASY way......But perhaps there is a way.



I think you have to have a situation that can no longer go on before one can stop. Like all addictions this is hitting one from the mental and physical at the same time



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:04 AM
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Thank you all for sharing you personal story, I have a loved one that is yet to admit a problem and although I don't want to make it about me. It's god dam driving me crazy, I'm at a loss. Don't know how to help and am starting to realise I probably can't until they help themselves. They have also shown early signs of medical problems. Thank you again.
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:06 AM
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I am close friends with an alcoholic. (She is 46 yrs old)

She was on probation for a DUI, and got a second DUI. Went to court (10AM) for the second DUI and they smelled alcohol on her and she was taken for a breathalyzer and blew a .05 (she claims was from the night before) so she was put into the cell for 8 hrs to sober up (can't remember the exact term for this, not arrested but put in to dry out).
Lost her job over this and the fact that a major screw up happened at work and someone claimed it was because she was really drunk that day at work. She has been unemployed now for 2 1/2 yrs, although trying to find a job.

She sometimes drinks for breakfast, to feel better from the night before, and keeps drinking all day.

But, she is often sober too.

YES, she knows she drinks too much. NO, all this has not made her quit. I think she never will.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:08 AM
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Hope this helps


I have an alcoholic family member. I gave up trying to get them to stop as I had focused years on it and it began to consume me.

This person knows they have a problem but downplay the problem and rationalise it in their own head. i.e. I have a job. My addiction is legal so it's not that big a deal. I can afford it. It's not hurting anyone else.

These rationalisations don't consider the bigger picture.

This person now has the memory of a gold fish, the mental capacity of a stapler and nearing three decades of life is yet to obtain a drivers license, instead opting for public transport or cabs. The license issue they actually confess to not obtaining for fear of drink driving.

Physical abuse toward loved ones would occur at times depending on mental stability while inebriated [literally struggling to talk or just function in general which takes a scary amount of liquor for a fully fledged alcoholic].

I hope one day this person realises what damage they are doing not only to themselves, but those who love them.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:09 AM
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I finally asked for help from a higher power. but yes I had to do it not loved ones.

I think the only thing you can do for him/her is

Ho Oponopono check out Dr. hew lynn on the internet good luck



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:14 AM
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I also suspect my loved one knows sort of there's a problem, but how big of a problem I don't think they are ready to admit to yet. I wonder day in day out how far this will take us, how low must it go? How can I help? I don't even know any more.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:17 AM
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Originally posted by feelingconnected
I realize this can be a touchy or highly personal subject matter. And I'm not sure I've put this in the right forum. I feel like having a rant, but no not this thread.. If anyone is willing or interested in answering a few questions on this topic, Id love to hear from you.

OK, so where to start, well what I'm wanting to ask is -During your alcoholism be it current or past, did you or do you know you had/have a problem with drinking? I'm really interested in this question.
How did you respond to loved ones broaching the subject, if anyone did? or did you honestly believe there to be no real problem? And anyone who suggested your problem, was the problem.

To the recovering, what was your turning point? If your willing to share that is. Was it something major, external, internal? I guess I know there will be many different answers depending on the person.
Lastly, did you find it easy to turn the blame of your drinking toward an innocent person or situation? Or did you even know you were doing this?
Ok, one more. How do you find recovery? Is it working for you and do you believe its possible eventually?

I would like to thank you if you've read and answered any of my questions.

ETA sorry for such a downer thread
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)


Hello! Great thread.

I'm a recovered(-ing) alcoholic and I started drinking because it was/is kind of a normal thing in my family (yeah, it sucks) and I grew up among the "a few beers won't be a problem" kind of thought since I was a teenager. In the beginning I wouldn't drink too much and only during the weekends, but as life went on and things started to go wrong (and by wrong I mean really wrong) financially and mostly in any aspect of life (had three deaths in my family in the time span of about one year) I turned to drinking a lot more. Lastly, I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago (about 6-7) and that was what made me think "screw it, I'm done anyway, it can't get any worst than that".

For a few years then, I drank a lot, every day. I quit my job and was completely lonely. My turning point towards the decision that I really had to stop drinking was a gathering of many factors. One of them was my friends, none of them ever drank as much as I did, and they warned me about my over drinking and unhealthy practices, and since I started going out with them more often I was kind of forced into drinking less. The other thing is that it became very normal in my life going to sleep completely drunk and then, in the following day, I wouldn't remember anything of what had happened on the other day, and it scared me to hell - losing control of my actions, that is.

Anything could happen during these blackouts, and I could end up waking up in jail someday, kidnapped or god knows what else could happen. What bothered me the most about the blackouts is the possibility that I could have hurt (physically and emotionally) someone I love from my friends and/or family, also I lost about 3 cell phones, a lot of money and got robbed twice because of the blackouts. So that was my turning point.

I then decided it was time to stop, for real, and I've been doing good lately, drinking a lot less and what I usually do when I feel like drinking is I try to distract my mind with something ELSE I like to do besides drinking, say watching a movie, writing, exercising or reading books. Right now I'm reading The Hobbit and Game of Thrones whenever I feel like drinking. It's working and I'm a lot better already, most of the time I don't even feel like drinking anymore. I guess that's it and I hope I have helped. If you have any doubts or questions just let me know.

Peace.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:21 AM
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reply to post by feelingconnected
 


I wasn't able to help in my instance but I'm not saying that you aren't able to help in yours. Everyone is different and so everyone will respond to help differently. Just be aware that it is possible you can end up damaging yourself trying to fix another. Don't cross that bridge.

Be supportive. Time can heal. Sometimes being supportive involves tough love. Good luck and I hope everything works out



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:33 AM
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Thank you all for you insights on the subject. It's an all consuming subject/ problem for me being that is 2:30am here grr another many an hour thinking about it.
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:43 AM
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Thought of another person I work with who is a recovering alcoholic.

He went to court (not sure what for, but alcohol related) and was so drunk at court they had to postpone it. He was ordered into recovery ans was told that "one more drink could kill him". He has not drank another drop since.
That apparently scared him enough to not drink.

He now has a good job (was not working for a long time, as he was drunk ALL DAY EVERY DAY) and he is now doing great.

He jokes about the fact that now that he quit drinking, he has been recently diagnosed with high blood pressure



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:53 AM
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edit on 11/24/2012 by Slinki because: Edit to ditch phone and add reply via laptop....



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 09:54 AM
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Originally posted by feelingconnected

OK, so where to start, well what I'm wanting to ask is -During your alcoholism be it current or past, did you or do you know you had/have a problem with drinking? I'm really interested in this question.
How did you respond to loved ones broaching the subject, if anyone did? or did you honestly believe there to be no real problem? And anyone who suggested your problem, was the problem.

To the recovering, what was your turning point? If your willing to share that is. Was it something major, external, internal? I guess I know there will be many different answers depending on the person.
Lastly, did you find it easy to turn the blame of your drinking toward an innocent person or situation? Or did you even know you were doing this?
Ok, one more. How do you find recovery? Is it working for you and do you believe its possible eventually?

I would like to thank you if you've read and answered any of my questions.

ETA sorry for such a downer thread
edit on 24-11-2012 by feelingconnected because: (no reason given)


I'm a recovering Alcoholic. It took a lot for me to admit I had a problem. It started to show itself in little ways - being late for work,not caring about myself,drinking ALL the time.Personally,I had to do it myself - my loved ones didn't say a word about it.Of course,after I entered rehab they all chimed in and said "we knew you had a problem". Oh you did? Then why didn't you say anything before? They were full of #.

My turning point was I hit rock bottom and realized I had a problem and needed to fix it,fast.I wasn't going to let myself go the way of my uncles,who were/are all life long alcoholics.Of course,having my daughter helped too.She is what keeps me from drinking now.As for you last question I blamed it on the situation I was in at the time. I won't go into specifics but lets just say I put the blame everywhere but on me.



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 10:12 AM
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reply to post by feelingconnected
 


I'm an off and on alcoholic. I was up to a case of beer a night. Then more recently I started posting in an addiction recovery thread and was sober for about a month after that. I'm back drinking again now.

trust me when I say I can find any reason to validate my drinking.

Woke up tired this morning... Drink.
Burned my eggs to hell, no more left to make breakfast... Drink.
Hungover? ... Drink.
Job interview... Drink.
going out of the house... Drink.
Games on? ... Drink.

And if anyone tried to stop me I would use clever jokes and strong sounding arguments as to why I should have opened that beer. If you press me beyond this point I would start distancing my self from you or we would start fighting. If someone started telling me I needed to stop all together, I could have easily pushed them out of my life completely.


I still have issues with drinking, but now it's much less of a problem than it was. My girlfriend doesn't drink much anymore, so that helps a lot. Just being around good people doing something out in the sun and having fun without beer helps.

As far as helping someone quit mostly you have to be there for them no matter what, but you cannot back down from letting them know that you THINK they have a problem. You FEEL that they are drinking entirely too much, and is there anything you could help them with?

I know for me I'm not just randomly an alcoholic. I have my reasons. Maybe you could get them to talk about it.

One main trick is the difference between 1 and 2,
1) Being an alcoholic who is going to quit drinking
2) being a sober person who doesn't drink.

one of those is framing a problem and moving away from it.
The other one is framing a positive life that has no problem.
#2 is the person who will make it.
edit on 11/24/2012 by Dustytoad because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 24 2012 @ 10:22 AM
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reply to post by feelingconnected
 


I will start off by saying that the only way of helping the loved one in your life that has a drinking problem is to realize that you're in no way to blame and there's nothing you can do change that person !! You have to change your way of thinking !! Now on to me !! I'm coming up on 5 years sober and I blamed everyone for my drinking ! My kids drove me nuts so I drank , my boss was an ass , so I drank. My wife nagged all the time , so I drank !! Never once did I look I my wrongs in all this ! I started drinking very young around 12 and drank alcoholically till my mid 40s except in the 90s I quit for 4 years but didn't go to AA . Recovery now is amazing , I have the respect of my family and friends and coworkers , most of my friends now are in AA and they are like family to me , I never really had friends just drinking buddies and when the beer was gone so were they !! There is a really great thread that a member here started on recovery !! There's some really great stories !





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