The Human Lie Detector

Hi all. I wanted to write this thread based on an event that happened between my brother and I yesterday, that irritated me. After 33 years of knowing each other on this earth, I have come to know him quite well; his mannerisms, what offends him and what makes him who he is. He chose to lie to me yesterday over something inconsequential; and this burned me a little bit. He of all people should have known that I picked up on his lying evasive tactics right away. Over the years I accustomed myself to watching the people that I am closest to - whether family or friends, in different situations and learned when they are truthful and not truthful, sometimes with me paying very little attention to what is being said by them. This earned me the nickname "the human lie detector" amongst them, as I became increasingly good at sniffing out deceptions in my circle.

This is a very easy thing to do and learn to adapt to. When you are around someone, ask them questions that you know are very harmless and have easy answers that require no deception, watching their eyes and facial expressions. This is how you gauge them in an honest manner - when they are at their most calm and relaxed.

As time goes on, watch them when they are speaking of something that elicits high outward and noticeable emotional responses. Ask questions in this period, keeping your eyes on theirs, your peripheral vision on all other aspects of the face and shoulders. Odd facial grimacing as well as stiff posturing can also show the someone uncomfortable with what is being spoken about, and unconsciously displaying these things in an effort to keep their lie hidden. Over the years I learned my family members and friends lie mechanisms quickly, many of them greatly differing in comparison to one another.

My youngest brother when he would lie, would look down and to the left every time; when honest, his eyes would stay closely fixed on mine as we spoke and would not wander in any manner. My other 3 brothers mechanisms all differed, from the aforementioned behavior, to looking up in the air and their eyes darting quickly to the left and right; sometimes with excessive and unnecessary blinking. Sometimes during a lie, the pitch to their voices would change, becoming louder or softer when exposed to certain questions. A sure sign of unsuccessful overcompensation in the act of trying to hide this lie.

It is interesting for me to note that I have only ever been truly fooled once; as I later learned of this man's own admission, that he was a sociopath; and had been his whole life. The general inability to feel true depth of human emotion helped him to camouflage to others around him - making it impossible to distinguish lie from truth. The only way I found out about things he had lied about as opposed to the truthful admissions he gave, was by others that came forward and told me that he had said different things to them regarding the same subject matter.
The lack of emotional depth made him impossible to read and unnerved me greatly.

I have noticed these odd behaviors in television personalities as well, sometimes subtle, others quite obvious. Politicians seem to make for being very good pathological liars (big surprise I know) as I have not been able to tell when quite a few were lying, until any truth of their lies came out at a later time. I believe because of the personal experience that I had years ago with the admitted sociopath, this strengthens the notion that politicians are more prone to be sociopaths - their skills at being naturally cunning and deceptive seems to prove that, at least to me; as well as other professions such as the law practice. Some lawyers I have known could literally sell ice water to eskimos, they are that good in the craft of deceiving others.

This can become almost a fun exercise the more and in greater detail you pay attention to those close to you. The more you notice and pay attention, the more you learn about each individual and what they are more prone to deceive you about as opposed to the truth. Sometimes these changes in behavior are subtle and takes a keen eye and repetitive exposure to learn. One thing I have learned, is when you do catch them in such things, do not point out what mechanisms turned your attention to their deception. This then will become something conscious in their mind, as the next time they will work to alter that mechanism to fool you again; starting you back to square one in learning what the signs are of their lying behavior. I just tell them that I know they are lying and I keep repeating that stance, as it is truly amazing how being forceful in my assertion to the fact they are being deceptive makes them eventually crack, as they come forward more to tell the truth. It has happened many times.

It's a truly fascinating study in human individual psychology, seeing first hand the struggle between the ego versus the moral centers of each individuals conscious awareness to their surroundings and how they interact in personal and at times, societal settings on a greater scale.

Are you good at recognizing blatant and sometimes even well crafted deceptions to those close to you? This was something as I stated above, irritated me with my brother yesterday and I felt like sharing this. It's a helpful tool for those who are around people that they are not certain of, regarding their sincerity to certain subjects. We all have the ability to become our own human lie detectors, if we are willing to pay attention to the little things that many overlook.

reply to post by Rubicant13


I think everyone is capable of doing this, Reading people. Even strangers, even after only a few minutes of meeting them. It's what's called a "gut instinct."

People don't like to admit they have a gift like this, or they chose to ignore it, for their own agenda's. This way once a person burns you, it's easy to say, you never saw it coming!

I completely agree, Sissel. We all have this innate ability. Most fail to pay attention to some of these subtle differences though, and get fooled by those trying to deceive. Sometimes just watching closely at times helps to see these things and aids to guard in being hurt by others lies.

reply to post by Rubicant13



It's been my experience in life, that when people have really hurt me with deception, hindsight is always 20/20.

Ever say to yourself, "I should have seen that one coming?"

Being raised to always give somebody the benefit of a doubt, I wish I would have listened to my human lie detector, rather than go on lousy advice!

good awareness of your surroundings is always important and that includes people. although i will cation you that many people, through various life encounters have learned quite well how to lie without you or anyone else knowing the better. the life i lived when i was young was terrible, i was into drugs and had to learn very quickly how to lie without being seen, or my life would have been over on any day of the week.

just a word to the wise, be careful and don't be thinking you are always the wiser to someone elses lie's, since you may very well be getting played yourself.

If you wanna be the HLD go join the police force. You have no business constantly analysing your friends and family like as if they're criminals who you need to be suspect of. Look what you're not realizing is that smells of total insecurity. SO WHAT IF SOMEONE LIES TO YOU. People are people. They're gonna lie, cheat, steal and hurt you throughout your lifetime. Even close family. No one is perfect and on the odd occasion it's gonna happen to you. So you might as well get use to it and stop being overly critical and judgemental of others. The cops could use you for work, but that's about it. You have no business doing that in day to day interactions. What you should do is come to terms with the fact that people will hurt you on occasion and it's no big deal, and you can forgive them if they do, and forget about it!

Originally posted by r2d246
If you wanna be the HLD go join the police force. You have no business constantly analysing your friends and family like as if they're criminals who you need to be suspect of. Look what you're not realizing is that smells of total insecurity. SO WHAT IF SOMEONE LIES TO YOU. People are people. They're gonna lie, cheat, steal and hurt you throughout your lifetime. Even close family. No one is perfect and on the odd occasion it's gonna happen to you. So you might as well get use to it and stop being overly critical and judgemental of others. The cops could use you for work, but that's about it. You have no business doing that in day to day interactions. What you should do is come to terms with the fact that people will hurt you on occasion and it's no big deal, and you can forgive them if they do, and forget about it!

Interesting. I did not mention being judgmental at all whatsoever. I simply explained how one can learn and adapt to reading the expressions of those close to you as an aid to softening the blow of being deceived and learning how to see it. I give no judgment. I comment to my family and close friends that in certain inconsequential situations, there is no reason to lie. I do not like being lied to, do you?

Edit: I did not make this thread as a "hey look at me" thread. I think the point was best gotten by another poster above. We all have the ability to see and recognize these things. We all in essence, in being human, have the ability to be human lie detectors. I do not see it in any way as a bad skill set to adapt to and learn.

Originally posted by r2d246
If you wanna be the HLD go join the police force. You have no business constantly analysing your friends and family like as if they're criminals who you need to be suspect of. Look what you're not realizing is that smells of total insecurity. SO WHAT IF SOMEONE LIES TO YOU. People are people. They're gonna lie, cheat, steal and hurt you throughout your lifetime. Even close family. No one is perfect and on the odd occasion it's gonna happen to you. So you might as well get use to it and stop being overly critical and judgemental of others.

LOL, well, sorry but I beg to differ with you. People who lie, cheat, and steal or hurt you deserve be criticized and judged, because that type of behavior isn't normal. No matter how you try to spin it, there is no excuse for anybody to be as you described. If you chose to have people like that in your life, then I feel sorry for you, and it has nothing to do with people being perfect, it's about people being genuine without having to do those kinds of things to people.

The cops could use you for work, but that's about it. You have no business doing that in day to day interactions. What you should do is come to terms with the fact that people will hurt you on occasion and it's no big deal, and you can forgive them if they do, and forget about it!

It is a big deal when people do cruel and un-needless things to you for their own gain, or to just put one over on you. There is nothing wrong with forgiving people who do awful things to you, but there is something to be said for learning when to walk away from people like that, too!

reply to post by Rubicant13


I would rather be in a room full of thieves, you can trust your stuff is safely hidden out of there reach.
I lie is harder to guard your self.
eye twitching rapid blinking is one that you can see first hand with people you dont know.

reply to post by Rubicant13


I usually know instantly when someone is lying or deceiving, I don't even need to look at their behavior.

Even when reading internet comments.

Originally posted by madenusa
reply to post by Rubicant13

 

I would rather be in a room full of thieves, you can trust your stuff is safely hidden out of there reach.
I lie is harder to guard your self.
eye twitching is one that you can see first hand with people you dont know.

Whereas I agree with your statement that you can see signs in some you do not know, how can one be sure that what your reading is a genuine sign of deception when you have never seen them tell the truth versus telling a lie; as in never getting comfortable with them in the first place; no observed behavior of them in both circumstances? For all I could know, they could have an eye twitching problem, which can be brought about by various physiological conditions. Some people develop these ticks just from being nervous around people they do not know for the first time as well.

Originally posted by WoodSpirit
reply to post by Rubicant13

 

I usually know instantly when someone is lying or deceiving, I don't even need to look at their behavior.

Even when reading internet comments.

That is what has been referred to as the "gut reaction" - a heightened sense of awareness that many attribute to psychic abilities in some fashion. Not a bad thing to have either. My gut though, I will admit, has failed me a few times.

Originally posted by Rubicant13

Originally posted by r2d246
If you wanna be the HLD go join the police force. You have no business constantly analysing your friends and family like as if they're criminals who you need to be suspect of. Look what you're not realizing is that smells of total insecurity. SO WHAT IF SOMEONE LIES TO YOU. People are people. They're gonna lie, cheat, steal and hurt you throughout your lifetime. Even close family. No one is perfect and on the odd occasion it's gonna happen to you. So you might as well get use to it and stop being overly critical and judgemental of others. The cops could use you for work, but that's about it. You have no business doing that in day to day interactions. What you should do is come to terms with the fact that people will hurt you on occasion and it's no big deal, and you can forgive them if they do, and forget about it!

Interesting. I did not mention being judgmental at all whatsoever. I simply explained how one can learn and adapt to reading the expressions of those close to you as an aid to softening the blow of being deceived and learning how to see it. I give no judgment. I comment to my family and close friends that in certain inconsequential situations, there is no reason to lie. I do not like being lied to, do you?

Edit: I did not make this thread as a "hey look at me" thread. I think the point was best gotten by another poster above. We all have the ability to see and recognize these things. We all in essence, in being human, have the ability to be human lie detectors. I do not see it in any way as a bad skill set to adapt to and learn.

edit on 22-11-2012 by Rubicant13 because: (no reason given)

I probably over reacted. ha ha

reply to post by Rubicant13


That lie detection crap doesn't work well. I have studied it and if a person feels guilty of something related to the issue and isn't lying it will throw up false flags. If the person is trying to steer the conversation to a different subject they will also show signs of lying. I've watched many videos on that kind of stuff and read many articles. I know people, lots of people. Everyone has different concerns and personality traits. These experts are deceivers themselves saying they know how to read everyone, that is impossible. Sometimes it does work but a false flag can show up for many reasons.

Society tells us to lie so we don't hurt others feelings.

I've known some people who were amazingly good at lying. For some, it's just a matter of training.

Sadly, or not, depending on your viewpoint, I'm not good at it. It would be useful at times, but I'm one of those people who wear their emotional states on their faces. I am pretty good at just sidetracking a conversation away from something someone's trying to get out of me, that doesn't show for some reason. Neither does answering someone with an intentionally misleading, but accurate, answer.

"Sorry, sir, you didn't ask if it was SAFE to stick your hand in there, you asked if you COULD. Apparently you can, just as I thought. Are you ok?"