reply to post by Mijamija
About 4 years ago I had to go visit my dad....not something I wanted to do, but I had to for practical purposes. My anxiety was threw the roof. At
one point I found myself crying underneath the bed, frozen in fear of comming out from under it
Had to reply to this before I finish the thread:
It was within the first year and a half of my longest (and continuing) stretch of sobriety, I don't remember the exact month any more. I was driving
to work, and I pulled over. I felt frozen with fear and started crying, God how I hoped nobody could see me! I was hit with what some people define as
the acronym of being SOBER - Son Of a B*ch, Everything is Real!
It was the first time in over a decade that I actually understood that hey, this is reality now, I have to deal with it, and I can't hide anymore. I
don't want to hide anymore. And with that growth, and with that first faltering step into a very unclear, dangerous, and painful future there will be
Please, don't feel alone in such overwhelming emotion. There are others who can at least relate, and there is always hope.
It is not how many times do I try and fail.
It is how many times do I pick myself back up again after the umpteenth failure to try again.
There are good people out there that know how to help, and by that I mean they really know how to listen. It's amazing how when you can give voice to
something very painful, very powerful, and tell it like it is for what it is, to someone who will just truly listen to you, well, it's like you take
away at least some of its power to hurt you anymore. Not that it won't ever hurt again, but it won't hurt as bad. And you can at least begin the
process of owning it, and not letting it own you anymore. The things we don't name are the things that have the most power over us, that's my
experience anyway. YMMV.
Best, heartfelt wishes to everyone. We are not alone, though it can be very hard to connect at times. No one is alone in their "dysfunction",
whatever that is, right?