The following is my first experience with what would be considered "contact". Before you read the following, I want to make something clear. I
do not ask you to believe any of this.
If you could in some way place yourself into my mind, you would see even I doubt my experiences. The
hardest part for me doubting my sanity.
Since joining ATS, sharing experiences with others does ease this feeling somewhat. I have been back and forth about creating this thread. Two times I
have began typing this ~ and two times I have erased it. It wasn't until speaking with a fellow reader (thank you EnochWasRight) have I finally
decided to follow through. I am not trying to garner attention with this thread, in all honesty part of me hopes it will sink to the bottom and hardy
get seen. The level of embarrassment~humility is high. It is not a pleasant feeling I can assure you. These things are very personal in nature and
some things will be left out for now at least.
When you encounter certain things in life (especially when you are not prepared), your reality is forever altered. It has taken a lot of hard work for
me to hold my consciousness together. I do not believe I am "bi polar" "schizophrenic" or "epileptic" as psychiatry has labeled me. The shear
fact that I am aware of my insanity disproves the "insanity", even my former therapist agreed with this assessment.
The experience I want to share happened roughly two years ago. It has forever changed me. Or to say another way, it has forever changed me into the
person I have always been.
I was always a very logical minded person. Religion has never been my thing, but I have always enjoyed reading many religious text. I could have
considered my myself spiritual at the time of this encounter, but even then it was simply the attitude of loving/respecting others and doing my best
to put them before myself when possible.
Although some of the following will sound alien, I do not claim this was an alien contact. For one the word "alien" has always bugged me. Two, our
culture has been saturated with images of what an "alien" is expected to look like. What I describe may indeed mimic the typical Grey Alien.. but
part of me feels I may only "see" that because my brain has no reference point, other than what it has been supplied. The brain loves to fill in the
blanks so to speak. See Your Eye / Brain Relationship
This is just one line of reasoning I have attempted to
explain what I see, to myself. I assure you it doesn't make me feel anymore comfortable with certain encounters.
To explain the months leading up to this encounter would take to much time for now, so I will try to give you a general idea.
It started with a dream.
It was the first dream in my life I have ever felt it important to write down. This dream led to me researching a certain symbol, this dream led to
certain "strange" events during my waking hours as well. I began writing my dreams down if I could remember them in the morning.
After another dream (as detailed as the first) I happened to stumble (synchronicity?) across a box of drawings I had made as a child. Other than
discovering I had a thing for drawing ships (old ships that sail on water) as a kid, I found a near replica of the ship from the previous nights
dream. I had also drawn detailed symbols on the flags of these various ships. I was roughly 4-5 years old according to my mom.
Flash forward roughly a month, and I believe something is "directing" me you could say. These things are very hard to put into words.. not
controlling my thoughts at all.. but a level of communication I was not used too. More like a communication through your environment with yourself,
but I would also see this "communication" between others too ~ they were not aware of it. Even part of me started to "speak" back to that part of
them. I would notice it, they wouldn't.
The world around me changed instantly.
It seemed like everything looked and felt different. For instance.. every single "logo" or "design" had a purpose. My subconscious my was
understanding the world around me in a new way. Advertising or packaging logos by companies seemed (at times) almost overpowering to look at. Any
attempt at trying to explain this to others made me look crazy, I believe it was because for them it was happening at a subconscious level ~ thus
below their awareness. Also the fact that this was new to me did not help, I was nowhere near as calm or articulate at expressing these "things".
At some point I made (or think I made) a choice. I knew something was going to happen.. I just didn't know what. Later that night "something"
More communication was happening like I mentioned above. At this point in my life I had began meditating, but only at its most basic level. Laying on
my back (not sleeping), fully aware and meditating like a newbie, I felt a presence in the room with me. Fear instantly enveloped me, and the presence
went away. I would resume my newbie meditation and the presence would return. This "back and forth" exchange went on at most five times, until I
heard the first "voice" other than my own inside my head.
It was very subtle at first, and I could not distinguish my thoughts from "its" thoughts. Then a clear "voice" (possibly my subconscious?) said
"Do not worry, everything will be ok"
The next thing I know I feel a sudden rush of (what felt like} electricity through my body. It happened fast. One sudden jolt, I freaked. Opened my
eyes, looked around my living room and wondered what the #### just happened. Again I felt the presence come back. This time I was not meditating in
the least.. more like flipping the #### out. The voice came back
"Everything will be ok, this will only take ten seconds"
I figured I may as well "go with it". The fortune cookie I received at lunch that day was brought to my mind "Fear is just excitement in need of
an attitude adjustment."
I laid back down on my couch, closed my eyes, and began "meditating". More like trying not to scream like a little
girl.. If any "little girls" are reading this I mean you know disrespect.
I am not sure why (possibly my own fear), but I asked if I was allowed to see it. A clear reply came through
Shortly after that reply the "electricity" came back. I am not sure how long it took.. but it was longer than the first. It could only be described
as sticking your finger in a light socket, mixed with screeching loud noises. Like being ripped apart and then put back together.. but it didn't
"hurt". If you have been shocked before and afterward kinda enjoyed the rush, it felt like that. Just lasted way longer.
I opened my eyes and looked around the room, however there was a "filter" you could say. It is very hard to describe.. Like a prism or mulch-colors
that could be "seen" through. This next part is going to sound ridiculous but I assure you this is what I saw. Please remember I do not ask you to
believe me here.. I have a very hard time with this as it is.. I do not claim I am an "alien".. I understand you may not believe me, but I only
request you show me respect when replying to this thread.
I looked down at my arm and could see my regular "human" arm, but also underneath/behind my arm was something else. I can only describe it as the
"normal" looking "alien" arm/hand. Long creepy fingers, grey colored, etc.
At this time the communication returned.