SAVED! Good News From America. Jobs and Production Up! And It Involves BACON!!

This is a public service post, intended to return hope to the long-suffering people of America.

The inventive, productive, spirit of America can not be held down. Some brave businessman will arise to provide Americans with what they really need, satisfy their deepest wants. Such a businessman is Clay Evers, of Greenview, Illinois. He is insuring jobs, an expanding market, and an almost spiritual refreshment for Americans about to endure another year of economic suffering.

I call on all ATSers to hail and support this daring colossus of the American spirit of free enterprise and his new, astonishing product; BACON BROWNIES!!!

an individually wrapped square of fudgy goodness studded with three strips of chopped applewood-smoked bacon and sprinkled with sea salt. It sells for $2.49.

The Bacon Brownie was added to the Qik-n-EZ inventory last week. Evers is working on getting it in other stores and hopes to take his company, Bacon People (baconpeople.com...), nationwide.

Each hefty brownie square has 420 calories, 20 grams of fat and 16 grams of protein.

After many tries, he came up with a winning recipe and made it often for friends. He knew he had something special when the hostess of a holiday potluck that he attended each year called him to complain. He couldn’t make it that year and the hostess said the other guests didn’t want to come if Evers’ bacon brownies weren’t on the table.

They eventually did find the right baker — Pellegrino Food Products Co. in Warren, Pa. Pellegrino’s massive oven is 181 feet long. During a 17-hour shift, the company can churn out 320,000 Bacon Brownies.

Evers, who has a degree in business management from the University of Illinois Springfield, was looking for volume. If the brownie sells well, he’s planning to release a blondie. And then a gourmet brownie. In all, his business plan calls for the release of 31 products. He’s hoping to get into retail giants like Sam’s Club and Costco.

Each Bacon Brownie package has a picture of an upright pig wearing a banner and holding a stein of beer. The image comes from a 1911 German postcard; it represents Evers’ German heritage and his family’s long tenure as pig farmers. Roark is the pig’s name.

“He’s our Cap’n Crunch,” said Evers about the porky corporate mascot.

Evers describes it as, “moist, not too sweet and not too salty. The bacon flavor is mild and not overpowering.” There is a delicate balance of sweetness and saltiness, and there’s plenty of bacon in it. It weighs in at a hearty 3.5 ounces.

Said Evers: “It’s a meal.”

www.sj-r.com...

With men like Evers behind America, how can we fail?

With respect,
Charles1952

maybe a 12 pack could be a ticket out yet so long as no one's around to revive
good grief

I'm eating bacon right now. no joke.

I for one do not agree on industrialization if it means more animals being slaughtered for American gluttony.
Don't mean to go PETA on this thread..just sounds dumb to me.
Killing of more animals to become food waiting to be put on a shelf with an expiration date...doesn't sound good to me.
Why dont the unhealthy people just have heartattacks already so we can stop killing for gluttony

B A C O N ! ! !

reply to post by charles1952


Oh Charles, you know of the affinity we have for bacon. Who can go a week without their rasher of bacon?

CJ

reply to post by ColoradoJens

Dear ColoradoJens,

Yet, not everyone likes the idea. See ArtofTrance's post. She may win out someday, and bring the US to a primarily vegetarian country. Her objection is noted, but with enough people demanding bacon, it looks like it will be around for a while.

Just a side thought, what happens if Michelle Obama becomes President? I fear your rasher would disappear.

With respect,
Charles1952

Originally posted by charles1952
reply to post by ColoradoJens

 

Dear ColoradoJens,

Yet, not everyone likes the idea. See ArtofTrance's post. She may win out someday, and bring the US to a primarily vegetarian country. Her objection is noted, but with enough people demanding bacon, it looks like it will be around for a while.

Just a side thought, what happens if Michelle Obama becomes President? I fear your rasher would disappear.

With respect,
Charles1952

edit on 21-11-2012 by charles1952 because: spelling

Have you taken a good look at her? You think she is anti bacon?

CJ

Legends say that whenever a thread about bacon is created, a guy named Heff will suddenly stop whatever he is doing - and he will appear to post.

Sometimes the legends are true...

Oh and to the PETA person above - good news. They can now make bacon from stem cells. Google it. It's greasy, tasty, oh so addicting FACT.

Bacon is the key to world peace! Well, except that almost every religion on earth forbids eating it.. but I'm working on that.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide

Dear Hefficide,

Thanks for your visit. I hope this thread hasn't caused you to smash a mouse or a keyboard. It does border on the insane. But, in line with that spirit of insanity, one method you haven't tried is a massive airdrop of bacon over all of the Gaza strip and Israel (throw in Iran just for fun). Everybody flees in panic, the UN guards every inch of the countryside, and only allows back those who promise to be good. That doesn't even start to consider the benefits to the American hog farmer.

I don't see a flaw.

With respect,
Charles1952