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Originally posted by jziegler
reply to post by randomtangentsrme
I tried telling him that, he said he wouldn't feel comfortable if I dated other guys.
So what I'm trying to get at is this, I met someone who I've known since I was 12.
He is an army vet, says he's in love with me,
but still sleeps with lots of women. He was always like this so I decided to let him have an open relationship because I don't want to change him or force him to change. Since allowing this, he's been changing on his own in his own way. He has slowed down the women but hasn't fully stopped but he does tell his friends he's in love with a girl.
He wants me to move in with him and get married but I don't know if I should. My gut tells me to wait even though I had feelings for him since I was 12. I need advice. He is dealing with PTSD from the war and his mother dying. He also deals with bipolar disorder and sees a therapist for this regularly. Sometimes I see some controlling and possessiveness come out of him but I don't know if this is his defenses or is he really an abusive guy???? Why do I attract these guys and what can I do? I'm a very friendly, down to earth girl and I wear my heart on my shoulder. Please help.
Originally posted by jziegler
reply to post by lasvegasteddy
He's very clingy, always texting me that he needs me. He'll text me things like "how come you don't love me anymore" because I do send him test texts. His therapist actually told him it's normal to sleep with many women given his Ptsd. I thought she was a quack but she does have 30 yrs of experience on PTSD. So who knows. I will keep everything in mind. I want to stay true to myself and find myself without a man's help. He just keeps pushing for more.
Originally posted by jziegler
reply to post by natalia
Thanks for the advice, I've actually told him it's probably just infatuation and he called me crazy. My brother is bipolar also and doesn't take meds so I know what to look for but something keeps telling me to hang in there and then there's another part of me that says run away as fast as you can. Does that make sense?
Originally posted by jziegler
Why do I attract these guys and what can I do?
Because Willy, we're the pure in heart. Never quite got around to being villains. An' the true villains of the world, they see our light and they come a runnin' to warm their hands at our fire.
~ Ray Bradbury Theatre - A Miracle of Rare Device
Originally posted by ErgoTheConclusion
reply to post by jziegler
You've devoted a thread on a conspiracy forum to the discussion of why all these people with undesirable traits keep being attracted to your all around good natured sweetness. This is a dead ringer giveaway for your half of the equation that might be worth honestly looking into.
To reply to your edit: I'm not "judging" you despite your thread being entirely about your judgement of others.
You asked a question and I offered an honest response based on honest experience from honest relationships. If what you want is a cuddle party and everyone offering sympathy, then say so. Don't veil it in an inquiry for advice on a public forum. Your style of reaction just adds more weight to the initial impression you give off in your opening post and some of the followups.edit on 18-11-2012 by ErgoTheConclusion because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by ErgoTheConclusion
reply to post by ascension211
If you can't see the compassion in my response then perhaps you should stick to the metaphysics forums.
Compassion comes in many forms, and not always with an "awwww".
Originally posted by jziegler
He had his friend text me who Im not allowed to talk to because he wasnt talking to her anymore. She asked about doing something for his bday. I said Id think about it. Next I knew he texted me not to come over tomorrow because I was talking to her. I told him it was about his bday but whatever. He came back with not whatever the # ever i told you not to talk to her but u did. I forwarded the texts to him and said goodbye. Im done playing petty games.
So Im walking away for now.
An hour later I get a text from her saying she was told to call and tell me that she didnt know she wasnt allowed to talk to me and she didnt know shed get me in trouble and that he wants me there and didnt mean what he said and was just angry and throwing a temper tantrum. I did not respond. Five minutes later I get a text from him saying, Come over. Now. then another text, I want you to sleep over please.
I am going to continue discovering myself.