posted on Nov, 18 2012 @ 09:59 PM
So what I'm trying to get at is this, I met someone who I've known since I was 12.
First obvious question that pops to my mind... yes you've known him since you were 12 but you have not seen him or been in close contact with him
ever since, have you? You say he's in the army so I presume he must've gone for tour duties and got called away from home for long periods of
He is an army vet, says he's in love with me,
What strikes me is that you always gear yourself from the guy's standpoint. "He said he was different and would take care of me", "He says he
loves me". What about you? How do you feel in his presence, do you feel a spark, are you happy, anything different going on in your mind and body?
but still sleeps with lots of women. He was always like this so I decided to let him have an open relationship because I don't want to change him or
force him to change. Since allowing this, he's been changing on his own in his own way. He has slowed down the women but hasn't fully stopped but he
does tell his friends he's in love with a girl.
Two things here. 1) It's good that you know he sleeps around and for your sake I hope he puts on a condom every time. 2) It's good that you did not
want to change him because putting barriers to such things can only build his frustration and yours in the long run.
NOW, how do you feel about him sleeping around? Yes, you accept it because "he's in love with you" but how does that make you feel is the more
appropriate question? He says he's in love with "a" girl, did he ever mention your name? If he hasn't, I'm sorry to say but... you're not that
He wants me to move in with him and get married but I don't know if I should. My gut tells me to wait even though I had feelings for him since I was
12. I need advice. He is dealing with PTSD from the war and his mother dying. He also deals with bipolar disorder and sees a therapist for this
regularly. Sometimes I see some controlling and possessiveness come out of him but I don't know if this is his defenses or is he really an abusive
guy???? Why do I attract these guys and what can I do? I'm a very friendly, down to earth girl and I wear my heart on my shoulder. Please help.
The big finale now. He is an army vet. He has seen some very disturbing things I'm sure and I do not discard them as damaged goods (even though they
are in a sense) but one thing is clear in my mind. He is going through a VERY rough patch. PTSD is not something that just fades, it remains. What
varies is the intensity of the disorder. His mother dying is also a milestone event in his life so asking you to move in and get married, to me... at
this point, I think, is to fill the void of his loss with his mom. The controlling and possessive traits within his behavior are part of his bipolar
disorder. The question is, how intense is it? Do you feel smothered by it or do these traits just pop-up very few times? Again, from previous tip, get
to see him drunk. The two character traits you described might get enhanced and if they do... sorry to say but he's not going to be the one.
As to why you attract these guys? Hmmmm, that is a very hard question to answer. Again, not to judge, just trying to make sense and help you out, it
could be that you ignore red flags like the many you mentioned above. Could be you want to move in with them too fast as came to light previously.
That is something you will have to find on your own but never stay in a relationship just because it's better than being alone... that's my final
"cut" to your story