Sara is a woman in real life that has chosen to get integrated into the “Matrix” of her own accord. She becomes fearful of losing her identity
at the last moment when she realizes that she will have to start with fresh memories for the program, so she decides to store away what she has left
of them in “Jessica’s” mind in order to save them/herself.
Jessica is the new Sara going through the first years of her life. At first, Sara is still Sara; she just can’t tell anybody who she is because
she can’t talk. Eventually, Sara becomes Jessica, but still remembers the very important memories of Sara’s life at random intervals. These are
little cut scenes of those memories at different times throughout Jessica’s first years and how they coincide with regular incidences that might
occur in a young child’s life.
“She’s almost ready, just have to download the program and she will be ready to go. What did she do?”
“She’s a volunteer, if you can believe that. Felt she was lacking in some personality traits and wanted to improve on them. That’s why she is
programmed on level one. Not the first time it’s happened, but quite rare to be sure.”
“Preparing to download, all the lesson markers are in place, time accelerators are good, program is good. Downloading in three, two,
“Good luck to you Sara, may your choices be good and your program be uneventful.” The young man touches Sara’s face and then closes the pod. He
turns to leave and when he does, he pauses to look at the billions of pods that are in use. He slowly shakes his head as he walks through the door
with his counterpart.
Sara is partly awake while the men perform their duties. Slowly she is sinking into the darkness, watches as the man touches her face. She closes her
eyes and the next thing she sees is a flash of light.
The room is too bright and Sara tries to tell someone this, but her mouth and nose won’t work. I can’t breathe!
Her vision is blurred, but
she can make out the shape of hands as they reach out to grab her. A device is used to suck out her mouth and nose, allowing her to take her first
breath in what seems like hours. Confused and angry, she decides to voice her opinion on the matter. She opens her mouth to speak; nothing comes out
but an angry wail.
“Congratulations, it’s a girl!” The doctor turns around and hands the baby to her mom. Sara is quite confused, she still has memories of who
she was, but her new memories are overwriting what she knew before. She quickly imagines a box and shoves what remains of her previous life into it.
She doesn’t want all of what she was forgotten, and so she buries that box in the deepest corner of her mind, planning on opening it after all the
commotion settles down. After a few moments she looks up at the woman who is holding her. The face is blurry, but as the woman leans forward, Sara
starts to make out her features. She looks kind and happy, tired and excited at the same time.
“Hello little Jessica, we have been waiting an awful long time to see you!” The woman hands Sara back to the nurse and lies back down in the bed.
Sara tries to tell them who she is, but all she can do is cry. The harder she tries to talk, the louder the cries, until finally; she decides this
must all be a bad dream. Tired and confused, Sara falls asleep hoping that she wakes up from this nightmare shortly.
“Jessica said her first word today, guess what it was?” The woman is talking to someone on the phone. Sara has been sitting in the high chair,
waiting for the lady to give her something to eat besides mush. Sara has figured out how to put a word together so she could get what she needed from
this lady. It’s already humiliating enough to have to go to the bathroom in your pants, but not to be able to get the basics out of life was very
frustrating. Food, water, a toy, these things she always has to ask for when she needs them, and so she’s been observant and figured out how to get
this lady to pay attention. The lady was always repeating this word to her when she talked, and it was the easiest word to say right now. So she
would say the word and point at what she needed. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t, but at least it was something.
“Mama” Sara points to the cookie jar on the counter. The lady comes rushing over with the phone in her hand, totally bypassing the snacks.
“Oh my god, she just said it again, how adorable! Did you hear it? Let me see if I can get her to do it again. Mama…Mama…” She leans in close
and repeats the word slowly over and over again.
Sara could say it again, but what’s the point? The lady had walked right by the cookie jar, and Sara wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of
saying it just because she wanted her to. Sara looks down at her plate and starts to play in her mush. She grabs a big handful of it and throws it on
the floor. Maybe the woman will understand that.
“I have to take Jessica to swimming classes today. Sorry I can’t make it to lunch, but it’s her first day and I don’t want her to miss
anything.” Mom is talking with aunt Susie on the phone as Jessica tries desperately to put on her own sock. The hard part is getting it open and
over your toes, then it’s all smooth sailing from there. Yet Jessica’s hand/eye coordination isn’t that good yet, so she’s still having
trouble doing some of the simple things.
As she makes her third attempt, a memory flashes in her mind. She is with a young man and they are watching TV in his bedroom. All of a sudden, he
takes his sock off and starts to beat her with it. They both wrestle over the sock for a few minutes, and then Jessica puts it around his shoulders,
pulling his face into hers, she kisses him. “My first kiss” is what enters Jessica’s head.
“Jessica, what are you doing baby, that sock doesn’t go around your shoulders, it goes on your foot, see? Mom holds her foot up for a visual and
then walks over to help Jessica out. She picks Jessica up and gives her a big hug. “I love you so much little one.”