Gotta Get It Out!

I was always the kid chasing the girls around the playground. Making friend with them first because there was a certain one I wanted. The hunter basically. Women was always a fascination of mind. They interested me. Sill do.

I can honestly say I never knew love until a few years ago. I mean I was in a realtionship for 2 years and thought I loved the person. I cared for them. But love? Nope.

So I come across this chick. Whose cool as hell best I've ever known. Personality everything is exactly what I want. When I talk to women. When I'm around women. I study them. I'm the kinda guy I'm looking for forever. And our time spent together is a job interview.

I need to know if your gonna be able to have my kids help me raise my kids, and be a good wife. Nothing else matters!

Anyways 8 months and I fell like a rock. The kinda fallen like every damn beat of my heart feels like it's for her. Every breath I take is for her. Her life is mine. If she died like a fly caught in a spider web when he realises he can't get out he gives up on life. I would do the same. All want to keep going would quickly dissipate.

Crazy? But then whats true love?

Maybe true love is crazy.

We been broke up for a few years. It's killed me! Yet I struggle on. For one purpose! I made a promise that no one would ever love her like I do. I intend on keeping it and I know that love conquers all.

You may be wondering how detrimental I'am to the whole process. Well I've let her live her life. I've only sent a few messages in the last few years just to let her know I still love her nothing more. She does what she does. It's fine. Because I know she'll come back.

How do I know this?

Well I'm the type of guy that if I ever felt like I was going to yell at her. I would just not say anything until I calmed down. It might have hurt her feelings not knowin what I was doing. But it would kill my soul at it's very core to yell at her!

That is the appitamy of what she means to me. I love her with every fibre. That's why I do what I do. I live my empty existence until the day comes that I can have my life back because she is my sunshine.

If she doesn't I know that we have eternity together. Maybe this is the life that I have to suffer just to have her in the next one. Idk all I know is that is my love.

Why did it end?

Many reasons can be blamed. I could say her mom was the bad guy. Causing me to choose between homelessness and her dads funeral. Really!?! who tells someone after there girlfriend dies 3 days before the funeral if you don't find a job in 3 days your out of here?

I could say it was because she didn't feel like she could live up to the expectations after I realised she was possibly cheating. Which is why the beer on the head had to happen. That's better then what most other men would have done.

Commitment is a scary thing. So I understand especially if you haven't had a whole lot of experience. She was young at the time. Just 3 yrs younger then I. Though I never cheated. I understood it.

I could say that It's because I yelled at her mom telling her things she told me out of her anger for her mother.

Alot of reasons could be pointed out. She told me one time she didn't deserve me. I feel like maybe I didn't deserve her.

Either way she's my angel.

I guess though if I had to blame it on one thing. It just wasn't our time yet...

The sad thing is I've been with other women and had to push them out the door. I actually hurt one telling her to go get with another guy. Sure I fought over her at the end. But in reality. I didn't care about her.

Infact since my love left. I can't be with anyone. Everytime I try I realise it's impossible. Everytime I move on from her I dream about her. Everytime I think I'm ready to try I lay down at night and realise.

At the end of the day when it's all said and done. I can't be with no one. But my love. And I accept it even if it means being single the rest of my life. Atleast I will die knowing that I loved someone with every beat of my heart.

And will continue to do so down the spiral for eternity.

chin up buttercup

Move on fella trust me it is not worth it.
It has been a couple of years since you was together and if it was meant to be you would got back with her by now.
Many of us have lost the love of our lives and yes it hurts but it will only stop you finding your TRUE love in the end.
Ah well whats the old saying "better to have loved and lost".

Just an honest question.. how old are you? This could have a lot to do with everything you've said

reply to post by DeadLights


If I may...



or

Originally posted by DeadLights
Why did it end?

if you don't find a job in 3 days your out of here?

I think this had everything to do with it.

After reading it again I do not understand this...


Which is why the beer on the head had to happen. That's better then what most other men would have done.
So she was cheating on you and you poured beer on her?
Also what would most men done? I think most would have just left and forgot about her....If she did cheat.

Originally posted by yourmaker

Originally posted by DeadLights
Why did it end?

if you don't find a job in 3 days your out of here?

I think this had everything to do with it.

Got hired the day of her fathers funeral. The break up was months later.

Originally posted by boymonkey74
After reading it again I do not understand this...


Which is why the beer on the head had to happen. That's better then what most other men would have done.
So she was cheating on you and you poured beer on her?
Also what would most men done? I think most would have just left and forgot about her....If she did cheat.

Most men I know are women beaters. Or man whores. This was after she danced around the pole half drunk at a homosexuals house who played soccer.

Just to give you some insight. This guy slept with half the county. Played soccer. And was a man whore. Every woman he got with he cheated. Which is proof of homosexuality. In my book.

Because I would think straight men would be able to find atleast one chick to settle down with. Or atleast respect 1 even if it's just 1.

reply to post by bacci0909


We are in our 20's. Mentally most of the time i'm in my 40's mentally most of the time she's her age or a little younger.

So I guess that's the communication breakdown.

reply to post by DeadLights


It is called football because you know we play with our feet....
So you are calling him a homosexual cos he got your GF to dance on a pole? okay.
Good luck sounds like you need it.

I think it's got more to do with any guy that can't find a woman. Never will. Is homosexual and the only reason they would be attempting to sleep with so many women. is because

In a society where being a whore is cool. It's an easy cop out to not look homosexual. You know how many gay men have looked me in the eye and said I'm not gay I can get a piece any time I want it.

So don't pull that b/s on me.

Part of the aggravation is she prolly thinks because I never treated her with abuse and hatred that I'm the homosexual. Yet she cheated on me with one.

reply to post by DeadLights


Just because he sleeps with lot's of women it doesn't mean he is a homosexual even so who cares?
He had something you didn't be it a good thing or a bad thing but stop using Homosexual as a derogatory term just because some guy stole your girl.
You say you have a mind of a 40 year old? then stop crying and grow up and move on and stop being so jealous of other people.
You just sound very bitter dude and that # will feck you up so move on.

reply to post by boymonkey74


You don't make alot of eye contact with people do you? Or study the way people communicate with eachother? Or anything that has to do with the study of psychology in people?

If you communicate with people like I do and have been in the field of studying communications between people. Homosexuals stand out in a crowd.

reply to post by DeadLights


Lol ok whatever....but seeing your only in your 20's you still have lots to learn, oh and I worked in the mental health field for a long time so I know about people.
So you study homosexuals alot do you?
Me I try to be normal and do not put labels on people like that...I'am out.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Well I seen him with a boyfriend not to long ago walking like he had something in his rectum area or shall I say HAD.

But your right!

Op what's it all about ?...you think because if a man sleeps with loads of women then
he is homosexual..Ive slept with plenty of women never cheated on a woman and have never
Chatted up someones woman however sometimes you have to move on feller if she has
found someone else putting beer over the head was a result btw...

You are best off finding someone else son..

Move on she has her loss get your oats while you still can..

reply to post by denver22


I'd really hate this thread to look like i'm bashing all men who sleep around and in way I'am. Sadly enough I admit that flaw. Truth is when you get hurt by someone you love dearly you wanna watch the world burn.

It's the way that it goes. When your world gets flipped upside down when someone steps on yoru heart. And you have no idea why!

Mainly because there was no closure the story was left wide open. You want to see it BURN.

The only person woman wise outside of family that you ever truly deeply loved. It's the way that it is.

To think and to know that somewhere under all the snow deep in the winter breeze that she does love you. There is a happy ending available. If you truly love someone you'll never let that go until you know it's out of reach.

I know it's there. I don't know what I have to do. I'll keep doing nothing. Because if I love her like I say I do. I know she has to live her life. And if it's there and meant to happen. The puppy always comes home.

Originally posted by DeadLights


I know it's there. I don't know what I have to do. I'll keep doing nothing. Because if I love her like I say I do. I know she has to live her life. And if it's there and meant to happen. The puppy always comes home.

I get what your saying about closure but if the puppy has no intention of coming back then it may
find a new home