Friend Commited Suicide

My best friend of 33 years committed suicide on the 7th of March this year. He allways seemed to be really happy and the life and soul of the party. My sincere condolences to you!

IMHO its the world we live in today that causes so many poor people to end it.

From the Hagakure, regarding giri, page 95

Lord Naoshige once said, “There is nothing felt quite so deeply as giri. There are times when someone like a cousin dies and it is not a matter of shedding tears. But we may hear of someone who lived fifty or a hundred years ago, of whom we know nothing and who has no family ties with us whatsoever, and yet from a sense of giri shed tears.”

Today would be one of those times.

reply to post by Night Star


I commiserate with you.....such a shock. My friend, mother of two small children, did the same thing. No warning beforehand. You keep wondering if you could have done something to help.

People who are wondering whether they could have done something to prevent somebody they know from taking their own life, remember this: human psychology is very complex. Every individual has their own level of emotional resilience that they can sustain before they are overwhelmed. There is no point harbouring any doubt or guilt in yourself because of a decision another human being made. You can only control your own life and how you deal with the challenges you face. Warning signs are not always easy to spot and people with deep psychological wounds are often good at masking their true feelings from others. Hindsight makes us feel guilty about the things we wish we could change.

I'm so terribly sorry for your - and the world's - loss. How lucky each of you were to enrich each others' lives while penpals. We all quietly grieve in our own way when learning someone chose to leave this world on their own terms. It's an odd mix of deep sadness and hope that the one we've lost has found respite.

reply to post by Night Star


I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.

reply to post by LoneCloudHopper2


I wonder about these types of therapies. are we treating the symptom or the person. Is it due to advances in medicine that these types of conditions are being more often discovered or is the change a result of diet? In my day, depression was treated by talking it out, not just popping a pill. with the extreme profits being reaped by drug companies it makes me wonder.

Originally posted by ~widowmaker~
reply to post by Night Star

 

nope dont believe in reincarnation, just that the well of life can only hold so much ^^ once it tips, it can fill up some more

Interesting. It is natural to be born and natural to die. I believe that when our physical body dies, we still go on somehow.

Originally posted by AsuspiciousMANappears
Maybe he was not wrong, just because he didn't follow the same path as everyone else

"To die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier" Walt Whitman.

Interesting quote by Whitman. I think my friend had experienced all he was able to in this life and was ready to leave onto the next.

Originally posted by Komodo
So sorry to hear this

My prayers are with you.

Thank you, much appreciated!

Originally posted by LostPassword
reply to post by Night Star

 

So another person on form of anti depressants commits suicide.

1 among probably a million other

and people still take it, still believe their doctors, still dumb deaf and blind.

What else is new.

Friend of my father recently committed suicide, Yep you guessed it, she was
on anti depressants.

edit on 14-11-2012 by LostPassword because: (no reason given)

There are also plenty of people who have had their lives changed for the better because of meds. My nephew's wife is one of them. It is different for everyone and sadly doesn't work for some.

reply to post by LostPassword


Sorry to hear about your friend's father. So sad.

A good doctor will tell their patients never to come off cold turkey from such meds. Some people when they start to feel better decide they no longer need them and take themselves off cold turkey. Some don't like the side afects and instead of trying something else, do without. These are dangerous situations. For others, nothing seems to help. But for many, the meds do help and they are able to function normally and live satisfying lives.

Leaving for a while. I'll be back to answer others later.

reply to post by Night Star

Thanks for the kind words. Should you ever need to vent...U2U.

PS When you think about it....maybe our part in their lives was to survive to tell their stories. .and we are doing that...

Peace

reply to post by mysterioustranger

PS Night Star? I am 1/2 Cherokee...and my given name means... "Morning Star". Now THERES a coincidence for you!!

I am sorry for your loss, now a days so many people feel they have no future, I sometimes find myself questioning my purpose as well. Having children I chose to keep looking for what that is everyday.. .i have faith, I just simply can't reason with the way life has more downs than ups. I absorb all the happy things as much as i can, i try to focus on them when times are really low, but still always end up with feelings of dread and dispair. I have no mental illnesses, just live in this world. Remember your friend by the happy moments you shared.
we all live on through those that loved and knew us

reply to post by Night Star


i believe that our energy and particles that make us up, breaks up into bagillions of pieces and gets used in the creation of something new with a little bit of you in it ^^ i dont believe we come back as ourselves, and even if we did, most wouldnt know it anyways till to late, not like i remember anything from my past life and are learning from mistakes, because ive made a ton of mistakes in life and continue to. well could just be i dont learn from mistakes but i try to hehe ^^

Originally posted by amraks

Originally posted by LostPassword
reply to post by Night Star

 

So another person on form of anti depressants commits suicide.

1 among probably a million other

and people still take it, still believe their doctors, still dumb deaf and blind.

What else is new.

Friend of my father recently committed suicide, Yep you guessed it, she was
on anti depressants.

edit on 14-11-2012 by LostPassword because: (no reason given)

There are illegal drugs that can muck ya brain up.

Condolences to OP I'm so sorry I know what its like I lost a friend to sucide last year. I miss him very much even know he had moved away. I miss him in a sense that one day we would of caught up for a beer and a reminiscence of the old times, now all I have is one comment on my youtube video of him reminiscing our childhoods.
I wish I knew more but I don't wanna ask the family as it might upset them. I wanna understand why he did it.

Thank you! I too would like to know more but didn't want to upset his father by asking for details. Maybe it's best that we don't know, it would only make us feel worse and serve no purpose. I am sorry to hear about your friend as well. I guess we should be grateful for whatever time we do have with the people in our lives, even if some of those lives are cut short. At least we were blessed with having the privilege of knowing them and for the memories made.

reply to post by Night Star


Warning.. Be prepared to be PISSED in the near future.

just sayin.

4 years ago, my little brother offed himself when he found out his wife was a serial shagger.
Their son, my nephew, has neurological issues steming from a doctors F'up during birth. He requires a nurse to help during the day. They could easily afford it. We'll, the nurses we're ready to play doctor while my brother was at work during the day.

Long story short, about 4 days to christmas and a day or so after our mothers birthday, he ate a .45 bullet.

I had no idea about what was up. I felt that had I known, I could have done something. If I had "read the signs" and acted. Yeah. I had some guilt issues.

woulda, coulds, shouldas.

Suicide victims (to me) deserve pretty much nothing but ire. Your friend (being he was on meds), made a conscious choice and knew the outcome. In his case, I can give a pass. If your chemistry is fouled, you cant think right and therefore your incapable of "right" thinking.

Dont be surprised though if you get mad as hell about it. Its pretty normal. Above all, dont feed the guilt with the "W, C, S"'s. You'll just get deeper and be more miserable.

Words are pretty weak but they're really all I have from my experience. It sucks. Plain and simple.

Suiciders (as in murderers), rarely consider others. Its reallly rather narcissistic.

Originally posted by nightstalker78
reply to post by Night Star

 

I feel your pain

I'm sorry for your loss.I've been through something similar and its not easy.I still struggle with it to this day.

Thank you! I have lost many people in my life including my Father so, I completely understand when you say it is a struggle to this day. It is difficult when someone makes such a difference in our lives and fills it with love, laughter and joy and then one day...gone.

Originally posted by liejunkie01

Originally posted by nightstalker78
reply to post by Night Star

 

I feel your pain

I'm sorry for your loss.I've been through something similar and its not easy.I still struggle with it to this day.

This is almost exactly what I was thinking and about to say.

I had a good friend, and a few distant friends from school do this.

My one friend I talked to him just two days before his decision and I kind of didn't pay as much as attention to himas i should have. He was supposed to be getting a microphone to sing in our band as soon as we got the other equipment.

When I spoke to him, I told him we git the equipment and we was waiting for him. I was in a drive through and kind of paid little attention. Two days later his family found him in his appartmrnt with a note saying he did it because if money issues.

It messed me and my friend up for a while.

I don't know why I told this story, maybe just to say I feel your pain OP.

Oh Honey, that is so sad. These days with jobs being so hard to come by, many become overwhelmed with worry and grief and don't want to be a burden to anyone and decide to just end it. So sad to see so many lose hope.

Perhaps your new band could write a song in his honor. That would be aweome and make your friend happy.