Sorry, I don't have any articles or videos. But, it's been in the back of my mind forever now, and I can't stand it. I'm also pretty scared to
look for the answer, I am very afraid of what it might be. I don't have any intelligent articles or famous conspiracy theorist quotes or anything,
and I'm sorry if what I'm saying doesn't sound quite intelligent or clear enough to understand fully. I'm a 19 year old with no real education
except what I've picked up on my own, so you'll have to work with me.
I do believe in God.
But, lately, speaking as a "generalist" looking objectively to the world, as I always try to do, I can't help but notice something about
In all human societies, there is always some driving passion, some idolized thing that people have chosen to be their leaders, be it some kind of
special person, a statue, a government, or the sun... in ancient societies, and in current day, people always seem to have some built in need to
worship something, to be lead by something.
Every ancient society has a God, or many Gods. Every nation has a government, to whom they're expected to follow. Every majority has a religion, to
which they're committed. And you know something? All of the people living under these oppressions prefer the lifestyle. All of them want to be ruled,
told what is right and wrong, and to worship.
Perhaps this human need is built into us because there really is a God, and we know we need to worship him.
But I can't escape my doubts.
What if people are geared this way from the start by some unknown force? Sounds crazy, but who's to say? Societies have been manipulated, lied to,
and used by their masters since... forever. The human mind is perhaps the greatest tool that anyone could ever hope for, especially if you have a
longing for world domination. If you understand what is in a person's head that makes them tick. If you understand how people are wired, and how to
manipulate it to obtain your desired result and reaction. The thought of that terrifies me, because I'm on the bottom of the food chain... I'm a
part of ordinary society. Whatever the truth may be, I am living it. God knows what it is.
It almost seems like all people are incomplete, like they're born just to fill the void in themselves, and they have to cling to something in life.
They have to cling to God, to their relationship partner, to their career, or whatever... and I understand being loving and passionate, but it's
deeper than that.
It seems like human kind was engineered just to be lead by someone else.
The way our minds work, we're all desperate to be told what to do rather than figure it out ourselves, to follow rules instead of create them, to
swallow everything without a question instead of digging deep and fighting tyranny.
Before I'd ever learned a single conspiracy in my life, and before my family fell apart and became extremely dysfunctional, I was an open book. My
mind was ready to absorb anything around me, and I was a happy, loving, sensitive little girl. I was carefree, happy as could be, and I watched
cartoons, played outside, wrote stories and colored, and never worried about anything beyond that. I loved to be simple. I adored it.
Now, when I see pictures of myself from back then, I can't recognize myself. I am not that kid now.
Everything is exactly opposite now. I trust nothing. I can't watch television or read a book without thinking "How is this affecting me? It's
affecting me in subtle psychological ways I can't even comprehend, it's going to manipulate my thoughts, influence my decisions..." Everything is a
question mark. Everything is a potential enemy. Simple, open-book people are tools, for whatever's around them, for whoever feels like manipulating
them, and they don't even know it. I really feel for them. The thought of being controlled like that, the thought of some other being or force
molding me into something desirable to them like a mold of clay, both terrifies and infuriates me.
I try everything to only be influenced by myself, and nothing around me. Not to let other people's views affect mine, not to let the news affect my
opinion of current events, not to be lead by anything or anyone but myself.
Though sometimes, it seems like a lost cause, because I am always influenced by something other than myself. All people are. Why is that?
What is built into us that makes us incomplete? Always looking for leadership and completion from somewhere else? Is it because we are supposed to be
completed by God's love?
Or are we genetically wired to constantly want, drive, and need? Were we simply born that way, or did someone genetically engineer the human race
early on so we'd all be a great slave race for someone higher?
Am I imagining this?
Does anyone understand this?