reply to post by LayteksLil
I had been abused as a young boy by someone who stood for things we are taught that were good. He was a cantor in my synagogue, he was a youth advisor
for different Jewish youth groups and he was a police officer.
There were many involved in this type of behavior, not just him. I didn't realize the extent, until I got older and started to put certain things
I have a story, but I stopped dead in my tracks trying to tell it, here. I don't know if this involved you personally. If it did you may want to
rethink your desire to talk about it here. I am all for exposing, just not sure this is the venue to have any impact.
There are some very nice people...and there are some that just look for something trash.
I have given bits and pieces of what happened to me, but I have probably 100 pages I could write about what happened.
I did what I could to get this person charged, but he fled the jurisdiction and had friends in high places to alert him. I warned every rabbi in the
greater Chicago area about this man. That is where he was last known to be.
I am 49 years old and I still have not "gotten over it" as some seem so eager to think is possible. I was 11 when the first abuse happened; it
began a pattern of behavior that did not stop for 3 years. By then, I was the one who was feeling that I let it happen; I did something to deserve
it. It took me many years to realize that I was not the fault.
This is why many do not come forward right away and this is something most do not understand. One day, I may try to put this out there for all to
see, if not here, somewhere. I have done what I can to not let the anger of what he did or the guilt I feel over allowing it to happen to others,
(without doing more to put a stop to it sooner), control my life. I forgive myself and I have done my best to forgive him (I think this was behavior
he was taught) still free will at some point should have mattered in his behavior. He will have to deal with it eventually, if he hasn't already.
I never let this behavior give me an excuse to do it to other children, so I don't think anyone can use this to justify their actions as adults.
It's deplorable, as is any form of abuse.
Good luck with your endeavors.
Take care and much love.