Felt up by a Homeless guy

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posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:02 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


I'm sorry that happened to you and I think you had the right to defend yourself. Nobody has the right to touch you if you don't want to be touched. Maybe think about buying a can of mace or a small stun gun.

On a lighter note I have to admit at first I misread the title and I thought it said, "Felt up a homeless guy". I thought to myself boy only on ATS would somebody brag about feeling up a homeless guy.
edit on 9-11-2012 by cavalryscout because: (no reason given)




posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:02 PM
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reply to post by caladonea
 


That is very scary Caladonea and very good advice. I am sure they all have my number now. They know I didnt react and it makes me an easy target.

You are right. I need to find a different place to smoke, and I need to be more aware. Thank you!



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:04 PM
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Originally posted by watchitburn
Some people have all the luck.

I usually have to pay Homeless people to feel me up. Or buy them booze.


Haha. I needed a laugh. thank you!!!



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:04 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


First, that sucks. I'm not happy to hear about what that guy did to you.

But... it has nothing to do with you being nice or not. Anybody could have done that. There's a bigger chance that a male boss would do this to you than a stranger so to equate your "niceness" for "stupidity" is simply wrong. He didn't grope you because you are nice, he groped you because he likes to grope people.

Then again, maybe he did it hoping you would call the cops so he could have a couple of nights with food and shelter. Homeless people do that sometimes but it's normally with victimless crimes. There is no justification for what he did.

edit on 9-11-2012 by Cuervo because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:06 PM
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Originally posted by k21968
reply to post by caladonea
 


That is very scary Caladonea and very good advice. I am sure they all have my number now. They know I didnt react and it makes me an easy target.

You are right. I need to find a different place to smoke, and I need to be more aware. Thank you!


I did an edit in my original post; I suggest too that you take self-defense courses. I want you to be safe, aware, and able to defend yourself. Don't trust any strangers; you owe them nothing.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:08 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 




Awww, come-on, he can't get a job, he can't get his own cigarettes, you were fine with helping him with those things, he probably doesn't get to cop a feel very often either, its just more charity.


Honestly, I'm sorry you feel violated, but really you got off very lucky. You are not on a milk carton this time, but your friends were right, this was a minor inconvience in terms of possible ways to violate you. You should call the police, count your lucky stars, and NEVER, NEVER allow yourself to be that close to wild animals in the future.

Seriously, homeless people are dangerous, ticking, time-bombs. Either they are mentally ill, or criminal, or they have burned every bridge and ruined every relationship they've ever had and now find themselves totally destitute. They are not good people, and helping them with a cigarette is just the first step to letting them get a little boob.

Either you approve of their existence or you do not. If you'll give them the occasional cigarette, and observe them on the street for years without any resolution to their situation, then you might as well give up a little sumthin sumthin extra every now and then. Of course, you would never intentionally do that, so don't give them the first step.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:10 PM
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reply to post by Cuervo
 


Thank you. THat makes me feel a little less like I did something wrong. But, in the defense of those who say niceness makes me a target I can agree with that as well. My friend smoking with me that day? NO WAY in Haites would he have done that to her. She wont give them the time of day and will tell them to get lost or go away. She said I dont pass gas that I emit rainbows and unicorns ...and that will get me killed one day. She has a point to a degree.

You are right a boss could've done that. And the sad part is I wouldn't know how to deal with that either.

This really woke me that my rainbows and unicorns way of looking at people is not realistic and I really need to put my guard up more often. Just doing it is the issue.. I dont know how.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:35 PM
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There's a homeless guy in my town who indecently assaults women in this way all the time - he does it because he knows he's going to get at least a few hours (or if he's lucky) an overnight stay in custody with a bed, tea and a warm meal.

He never gets arrested for, say, theft of a loaf of bread or a bottle of vodka or something that might actually be useful to him though... No, he would rather get his sick perverted kicks at the same time....

I used to feel sorry for him and yeah I've given him a few ciggies on occasion... He wouldn't dare try it on with me though because of where I work....

I'm really sorry you had to go through this... Is there somewhere else you could have a smoke? Seems like you're a sitting duck having to use that park across the road, it's absolutely ridiculous....



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:38 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


The homeless population is something we have to worry about in our smoking area. We've had homeless people pull knives on people and get agressive -- so the spot keeps getting moved around.

I know exactly the situation you were in, as it happens to myself all the time.

I've started keeping an empty pack at my desk, and putting just one cigarette in it when I go outside. This way, I can show them my empty pack and I don't feel so bad.

I've had one guy talk my ear off about how he was an air-force special ops guy that used to do high-altitude jumps. He said the military gave him a "utility belt like batman with all kinds of drugs in it...and an IV with a push button to get high as your falling out of the sky" .... Or something like that.

I've seen homeless people snatch cigarettes out of people's hands too. The homeless are definatley getting more agressive these past few years. They are also getting more desperate. They are now picking out the cigarette butts, taking out the left over tobacco and rolling new cigarettes.

I now carry pepper spray on my keychain just in case one gets agressive when I tell them, "No." Half the time they are drunk, usually on hairspray or listerine (yes, bums drink hairspray).

They make a pink keychain pepper spray dealie, I got one for my girl. I got the same one in black. Not to spendy either -- I got mine off Amazon.

Edit to add:

I usually just ignore them and avoid making eye contact. I'll pull out my phone and look down at it. If they keep speaking to me, I'll say something like, "I don't speak homeless"

Okay, no .... I was joking. I'll usually just tell them, "No, sorry" and go back to my phone. I wish I could tell them that I don't speak homeless though. I want to live and not be raped by a homeless guy behind the bushes.

Final ETA:
They are sort of like ferral dogs/cats. You might want to help them, but you can never trust them. They are extremely unpredictable. I just try and avoid them like I would a stray dog or cat.
edit on 9-11-2012 by MystikMushroom because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:51 PM
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reply to post by MystikMushroom
 


I have pepper spray but I didnt have my keys. I like the suggestion of keeping an empty cigarette pack in my desk and only taking one outside when I go.

A person shouldnt have to worry about this stuff on a smoke break.

The world is insane.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 12:58 PM
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Originally posted by k21968
reply to post by MystikMushroom
 


I have pepper spray but I didnt have my keys. I like the suggestion of keeping an empty cigarette pack in my desk and only taking one outside when I go.

A person shouldnt have to worry about this stuff on a smoke break.

The world is insane.


No. That's bad advice. That is just dishonest and deflecting the situation. Just say NO. Assertively, directly, and if they hang around, ask them to leave, and if they don't leave, call the police.

Face the problem, don't find workarounds. The world is insane, because people don't handle things, they find ways to deflect or ignore it. Don't be part of the problem.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 01:03 PM
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reply to post by darkhorserider
 


It's better than asking for a quarter. I've tried that and almost gotten myself beat up. Packs here cost over $9.

Saying "NO" in an assertive voice is what caused the lady here to have a knife pulled on her. Luckily, there were security cameras and it was caught on tape.

Quite a few of them get very upset when you say no, as if they are entitled to a free smoke.

I also use the "empty pack" trick at bars and nightclubs too. If you go outside to smoke at those places, you'll be bombared with people asking for cigarettes. It's just easier to pretend you don't have any than lying and saying you don't when you obviously have a bunch left.

edit on 9-11-2012 by MystikMushroom because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 01:22 PM
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reply to post by MystikMushroom
 


Ya, you're right, I was being a little harsh. It is a good trick to employ, and in a one on one situation, it might not be a good idea to be combative.

In her situation, I think she should learn to be a little more comfortable with the word "no," but it may not always be a good idea.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 01:23 PM
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Originally posted by darkhorserider
reply to post by MystikMushroom
 


Ya, you're right, I was being a little harsh. It is a good trick to employ, and in a one on one situation, it might not be a good idea to be combative.

In her situation, I think she should learn to be a little more comfortable with the word "no," but it may not always be a good idea.


I do need to employ the word no you are 100% correct and i need to be comfortable saying it.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 01:39 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 




I feel like you have to be kind to people and that you can't be mean to someone simply because they are down on their luck.


Many of these people choose to be "down on their luck" by refusing to accept responsibility for their lives or actions. Laziness is now somehow considered a disability.

I was driving through Rally's for a cheeseburger once, and a perfectly normal looking guy sitting outside asked me for lunch money. I asked him if he had filled out an application here. He sheepishly nodded "yes" but it was clear he was lying.

And besides that, a cigarette is hardly charity. It's more like enabling the lazy to continue their lazy ways.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 02:10 PM
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Originally posted by Onewhoknowsjesus
Just one question did anytime during this encounter did you enjoy any of it?



Funny how people interpret things differently. I found it a sarcastic joking comment related to how victims stories are twisted by sick people saying they somehow brought things onto themselves. I thought it a joke. Not very 'Jesus like' to assume everyone has evil intentions either


That said, I probably would give out an occasional smoke as well.
I might entertain a couple minutes of conversation.

The moment that transpired into him touching my breast...
I'd of slapped his hand, jumped up, and said "You crossed the line. Don't ever approach me again. You will be lucky if my husband doesn't come down here and bash your homeless head in!!"

Nothing wrong with treating homeless people like humans...Don't let them take advantage of you, and don't hate em all for the actions of one.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 04:55 PM
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Mace? Why dont you pack heat? I have a gun thats the size of your mace. Only a 22 but still...



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 05:01 PM
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reply to post by phroziac
 
We are not allowed to carry weapons at work.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 05:17 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


My first thought was that if you didn't do anything about it (have him arrested, kick him in the yahoos...) then he'd probably try to do it again, or worse. But then I asked myself what I would do, even though I'm a guy.

I would do nothing because it would involve talking to the police, filling out forms, and going to court. In other words, that less-than-a-minute grope would cost me hours out of my life, and probably a day's pay or two. Nah, not worth it to me.

I'd find some other area to smoke in, if possible. Maybe I'd even mention it to management so that maybe a fence could be installed to prevent these homeless from bothering you.



posted on Nov, 9 2012 @ 05:19 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


You know I'm sorry this has happened to you but I would say If your husband is available to come have lunch/break with you sometime, you might want to let the homeless folks know you have male back-up around you from time to time. This might deter them.

I don't let people in my personal space what-so-ever, I give them a look they'll never forget. Can I have this or that, "No you cannot" or "Get away from me." One guy told me I dropped something, I knew I didn't , he just wanted me to bend over. lol, he kept chattin' me up till I told him to get away from me.

Being nice will sometimes give signals which you were never sending, but they interpret them that way. Be careful.





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