The Armed Forces

I've always wanted to make this thread, but thought I would not be able to accurately describe my feelings and get flamed instead. Well today I stumbled across an image that portrayed my feelings very well.

disclaimer: I blurred out some harsh words, but it's still not to hard to tell


I have become so tired of people saying they are in the Armed Forces and getting all this praise and recognition when they have not see anything close to war. Now I am not trying to generalize. Some people sign up with every intention of fighting and just are lucky enough to not have to see war. However, SO many people I know joined the military as a last resort. They were low lives. They either couldn't get a job or were in so much trouble with the law that the armed forces was their only option. Then they go away to boot camp and are automatically American Heroes? I'm not buying it.

There are many men and women that should be recognized as American Heroes for the things they have done and went through for this country. However, sitting on base guarding a tower and then getting to go get drunk on the coast isn't one of them. I have heard so many people I know talk about the amount they party, do drugs, and how much action they have received because they said they were in the military. Some heroes.

And military girlfriends need to stop thinking they are doing this unspeakable feat. Every relationship should be able to withstand distance and not communicating everyday. I'm very aware of how hard it is for some women while their men are away. However, you don't get to play the role of the poor military girlfriend who cries yourself to sleep every night missing your significant other and then go take your ring off when you're at the bar. (Obviously same applies to military boyfriends)

Maybe it is just the town I live in that is like this, but I'm sick of it.

I support everyone who decides to join the military, but simply singing your name doesn't mean you're an American Hero, in my book as least.
I don't want this to come off as any disrespect, I wholeheartedly support our troops as a whole.

I agree. But what about the fact that these wars they fight in have nothing to do with protecting america?

I think most people serving in the armed forces do not consider themselves heros. It's usually cynical politicians and talking heads that do that.

reply to post by headorheart


I am in the military and I like the quote. Good stuff. I do not like when people glorify what I do. It can be hard but I am not superman. I have never met superman. Most people have never been in the military so Hollywood is their only reference. Maybe that is where it comes from.

There are plenty of things you can do to give back.

Military, peace corps if that is what floats your boat.

But we were born into this country with a history of fighting for what we have, or to prevent it being taken from us, and not just possessions but rights and freedom.

How does one repay that debt? How do you repay the ones that went before you?

Raise your hand, do the hard work of training, if no one takes a shot at you, you should still get credit for doing what only 3% of the population is willing to do anymore.

And some want to serve, but are rejected because of health or deformity. This is tragic in my view.

Most prefer to keep a low profile, but in so many situations in life, people will endure a little celebrity because it makes those who want to give a party or award happy.

I never had my medals mounted. They give them to you one at a time and to wear them once you have more than a couple they need to be all connected on a special bracket. And they have to be in a special order, and then the ribbons that do not have medals go on the other side. It is really complicated to wear them correctly. And the officers and Chiefs take great pride in knowing by memory which order they go in and will catch any error on your part. So I really hated the whole ribbon and medals thing.

But I was always proud to wear the uniform. The uniform does not mean you were shot at, or shot at the enemy. It means you volunteered to do the hard work that our military does for little money and uncertain dangers. Hell half of us are technical experts and only handle a weapon on occasion.

One really does not know what will happen during ones military career, and yet we sign up anyway.

Navy Page Link

reply to post by headorheart


Hello, I met my husband when we were both 17...27 years ago. Out of those 27 years, he spent 22 years on active duty in the US Army. He retired in 2010, so I feel I can give you some perspective on the military wife.

Here is a day in the life...then you can decide for yourself...

We often live in foreign countries without anyone to help us. Think about how many times people can call their parents, brothers/sisters, cousins to help them do anything. We often live in foreign countries or remote locations around the US without the things mentioned in the previous statement. We live in all of these places often without our soldier to help us. That means we do everything. We hold full time jobs, raise the kids, pay the bills, clean the house, do the shopping, all the while remaining calm when our soldier is on alert and leaves at 1 am and you have no idea when or if you will see him again. You stay calm as to not freak out the children in the picture. You try to make them believe this is the most normal thing in the world So you cry in the shower. Then you make breakfast and sing Barney to your kids to make them laugh and try to forget that daddy just left and might not come back home EVER. When they ask when daddy is coming home you put on your big girl panties to choke back the tears, and you calmly tell them that he will be back when his mission is over and for now he needs us to be strong and brave. They eat their waffles and when you look at their little eyes you know they are heartbroken and you just told them to suck it up and drive on because that is all we can do. You have to tell your precious babies lies to get them through their day. You promise them daddy will come home and you promise them that no matter they will be ok granted you dont get hit by a bus on teh way to work in that case they are basically screwed because you are in a foreign country and it will take your provisional guardian 10 hrs to get to them. You wonder that if something like that happens would they go to a facility until they got there? Would they go to the embassy? You dont know. But you wonder. YOu take them to daycare and they cling to your legs and have to be peeled off so you can get to work because they are so insecure because YOU are the ONLY constant in their lives.After 800 kisses and hugs you finally turn and walk away as they scream . THen you go to work and pretend your life is great because you need your job because you cant live on the pay your husband brings home cant support you and your kids. Then you pick up the same kids from daycare and find out they cried all day, bit another child because they have anxiety, or that they retreated to a bathroom stall and refused to come out all day because they are troubled because daddy left, mommy cant tell them when he will be home and they just dont understand. After a short chat with the daycare director she suggests the teachers give them some extra attention because she feels it is lacking at home. NO JOKE...their father left at 1 am and deployed to a war zone and we have no idea where he is or when he will be home...so yeah attention is lacking. Then you get in the car, go home make dinner do laundry give the kids baths feed them a snack put them to bed . They kiss and hug you another 800 times because you are leaving the room and well when daddy left the last time he never came back for a long time so they are afraid you will do the same thing so you end up sleeping with them until they fall asleep. You finally get a few minutes to take a shower where you cry again becasue that is the only place you can cry because the kids cant hear you in there. You go to bed. Repeat for 153 days. At 2 am on day 153 the door bell rings. YOu stagger to the door and look through the peep hole. Standing on your threshold is 2 men in their Army greens. All wives know what that means. You think if you do not answer the door whatever is waiting on the other side wont be real so you slowly slump down to the floor telling yourself to cry quietly because you dont want to wake the kids. Eventually you gather yourself enough to answer the door and you answer it like you have no idea why they are there. They ask to come in. You lead them to the dining room. You sit down. THey stand. The silence is deafening. Eventually one of them speaks. "Mrs._______ we regret to inform you..." and you scream no. You run across the hall to get your neighbor another army wife whose husband is deployed with yours. You leave them mid sentence standing there. Your neighbor answers and all you can do is point to your open door and she can see the soldiers in your dining room. She takes a deep breath and grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze. SEE NEXT POST

reply to post by k21968


I feel as if I struck a nerve with you and that was not my intentions at all. I have dated someone who was deployed for part of our relationship that is where my experience with the situation comes. I am not trying to take away from anything a husband or wife of military personal do. However, in those 27 years how many time did you cheat on your husband? Or take your ring off to go out dancing with the girls? These are the things I disrespect. I once went out with my ex-boyfriend's friend girlfriend. I figured it would be nice to get to know her. She went home with a guy that night and her response to me was "us military girlfriends have to stick together. " That is the behavior that I am absolutely disgusted by and have seen too much of.

reply to post by k21968


SHe is suddenly quiet and calm. Ok thank you. One of the men tells her he is her casualty assistance officer and he will be back tomorrow to help her make arrangements, etc. The men leave.

She decides to let the kids sleep. THe next morning she sits them down and tells them that daddy is not coming home EVER. That he is in heaven but that he was a hero. That he died doing something he believed in and that he died protecting them and their freedom.

The next few days are filled with paperwork. LOTS of paperwork. Signing for her spouse benefits (roughly 40% of his BASE pay not including housing allowance and food allowance) so basically she will get about a 1/3 of what he earned.

Funeral arrangements are made and plane tickets are bought. They fly to their hometown where they attend the funeral of their hero. As the funeral ends, her son, age 4 stands at the foot of his fathers coffin and salutes it. There was not a dry eye there. They fly back to Germany where they are told they have 90 days to move back to the US. She has to quit her job, find a new place to live that they can afford, and go on with life when the only life she knew is gone.

She gets a new ID card that says "Unremarried WIDOW". I think that was the defining moment for her. The moment that made it all real. Through everything she was so strong for her kids. She did everything she could to give these kids a great lasting LAST memory of their father. She NEVER cried ONCE in front of them. She was reassuring, kind, and strong.

90 days went fast and she flew back to Texas to stay with her parents until she got back on her feet. She found a job at the Dallas International Airport USO so she could still be part of the military life she loved so much.

She bought a small trailer and put it on her parents property. She bought a very old car. She took every cent of the insurance money that was left after the funeral and put in a fund for her kids so they could go to college.

Today she is one of the strongest, kindest, most compassionate women I have ever known. DO NOT TELL ME SHE IS NOT A HERO. DO NOT TELL ME HER HUSBAND IS NOT A HERO. DO NOT TELL ME HER KIDS ARE NOT ARMY STRONG.

I know all of this firsthand, for I was the neighbor. All these years later I am still very good friends with her. Her kids are thriving. That little boy who saluted his dads coffin cannot wait to join the Army himself.

No one understands the sacrifices our military families make. Not all sacrifices are the ultimate. Hers was. Some sacrifices are smaller, injuries, PTSD, etc. EVERY military family sacrifices something.

I urge you to get to know some of these military families you dont understand. You will see that they truly are strong human beings that are put in unreal situations and remain proud even after the worst happens. To me, this makes everyone of them heroes. Anytime they have on that uniform, there is a chance they will not come back home.

Peace and love,
K

reply to post by headorheart


NO I never cheated on my husband or took my ring off to go out with the girls. I am appalled at the stereotype. How many civilian wives do that very thing?

The general is right for many service members deployed. Many stay on bases and see no action and then come home and try to claim they are somehow heroic. The true heroes and the ones who have seen heavy action don't talk about it often.

Eight years ago today the deadliest battle of the Iraq war began. I was right in the middle of all of it. Am I a hero? no I am not. The heroes were the ones who made sacrifices not for their country but for their brothers who were there along side of them. Sgt Peralta jumped on a grenade to save his buddies during that battle. He was a hero. Many men became heroes during that battle and they do deserve the recognition for their actions.

It's very disgraceful for the ones who did no real fighting to go around taking credit like they do. If someone openly talks about battle field events to civilians it is usually bs. I don't tal about my experiences but with a select few and I don't tal about it often.

I believe that General was very fed up with the ideals of the younger generations in the military. Many do seem to have a sense of entitlment that they have not earned.

Having a few members in the services and worked with the services (of the UK and US) for a while in my younger days all I can say I gleamed was that most simply wanted to be treated like human beings, not hero worshipped by not treated like second class citizens either.

I think the Government and services have gone to far towards hero worship for my tastes and the ex service guys I know, however I am mindful of the opposite extreme has mostly been true.. the poem Tommy neatly sums up feelings that have been prevalent towards the services and treating them as second class citizens until that is they are needed, and then they are heroes.

Tommy Atkins by Rudyard Kipling.

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

Read more at: faxmentis.org...

The sentiment is pretty clear, we bounce between treating them like crap and treating them like hereos, while most I know simply want to be treated like human beings, can't say that I blame them either.