Originally posted by smyleegrl
I’ve pondered whether or not to share this with you, and finally decided to bite the bullet this morning. So here goes.
All my life, I’ve felt like I’m waiting for…..something. I can’t define that something, except that its more. More….different.
I know that doesn’t make any sense, so let me try and clarify. Everyday is the same for me; I go through life not really living in the present. I
mean, I spend my typical day feeling distracted; like my job, my family, my self is a distraction from the something more.
It’s a very uneasy feeling; I have no idea if the “more” is a positive or negative at all. But there’s almost a hum in the air, a sense of
change, a feeling of otherness.
I know this isn’t making sense, and that’s probably because I can’t make sense of it myself. Maybe its best described as realizing this world
is an illusion, and the real world is just around the corner?
I grew up religious, and always had that feeling. Now I consider myself agnostic, but with spiritual tendencies. I don’t believe that the
“more” is religious in nature.
I guess it feels like a countdown, maybe. Or maybe I’m just more aware of the uncertainty in life.
So my question to you, ATS…..do you ever feel the same? If so, I’d love to know how you deal with it.
Thanks in advance,
I don't come to the "Gray Area" often. It's just not one of the forums that I frequent. Not that I'm against it or don't get "into it" or
anything like that, it's just that my interests usually lie elsewhere.
It's been a very strange day today. I've been under the weather, have had walking pneumonia and a pretty severe ear infection, and have been taking
antibiotics. Today's the first day I haven't felt like I've been run over by a bus. .....anyway, I've felt a little better today, so the
antibiotics are working. I was sitting here, been home from work for a little more than an hour, and decided I needed to share some things. So, I
made my way over to the Gray Area because I felt that's where it belonged. I was going to start a thread and talk about what I was "feeling" today.
Not something I normally do. Got to the forum and just glanced down at the topics, mostly to make sure I was in the "right place" for what I wanted
to share and I saw this title, saw it was Smylee's, so, I opened it up. This is EXACTLY what I've been feeling.
I looked at some of the new topics that have popped up over the day (the titles) talking about strange sounds in the air, objects on the sun,
densensitizing to UFOs, an "super-earth"...the things that are always popping up on here.... but this time, a "feeling" came over me like "oh, it
must be unfolding now" like I knew what was going to happen next, almost expected what is going to happen next and it was a feeling of "calm" and
"confidence" like watching a movie you've seen a dozen times and you know what's going to happen next, but you really like the movie, so you watch
it unfold, enjoying the progression....
First off, this is NOT something I do a lot, I don't really get into the metaphysical very often, I have at times, but it's not something I really
put a lot of my attention into (being the mathematician/scientist that I am), but this was just a "feeling" that completely enveloped me, like it
was second nature or something. Very, very strange for me. When it hit me that it was a bit odd for me, I put some more thought into it and used a
little logical reasoning to try to figure out exactly what was going on with me and came to the conclusion that I wanted to share it and ask if anyone
else was feeling "odd" today. I don't want to say "alarmed" or "apprehensive" or "on edge" or aything of that nature, because it's not like
that, it's just .... "odd".....
Through my educational career, one of the "concepts" that we've delved into in the past was "see the change before it happens", talking about
seeing the student's success so you can be part of helping them get there...anyway, it's kind of like that. I'm seeing the changes that I think are
going to take place and the progessing steps to get there. It's like they're just unfolding in my mind and following a nice, logical
sequence....I'm even trying to get myself worked up over it and trying to make myself feel nervous or anxious, but I can't, it's just a "calm",
logical, unfolding going on in my mind and it makes such perfect sense and is progressing right along....
It's very strange and very...not unnerving....just.... odd