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Terng Zbzragf va Uvfgbel: #3

Nhthfg 27, 1949:
N Unyy bs Snzr bcrarq gb ubabe bhgfgnaqvat zrzoref bs gur
Jbzra'f Nve Pbec. Vg jnf n JNP'f Zhfrhz.
%
Tebire Pyrirynaq, gubhtu pbafgnagyl ng ybttreurnqf jvgu gur
Frangr, tbg ba orggre jvgu gur Ubhfr bs Ercerfragngvirf. N cbchyne
fgbel pvephyngvat qhevat uvf cerfvqrapl pbaprearq gur avtug ur jnf
ebhfrq ol uvf jvsr pelvat, "Jnxr hc! V guvax gurer ner ohetynef va gur
ubhfr."
"Ab, ab, zl qrne," fnvq gur cerfvqrag fyrrcvyl, "va gur Frangr znlor,
ohg abg va gur Ubhfr."
%
Teho svefg, gura rguvpf.
-- Oregbyg Oerpug
%
Unex lr, Pyvaxre, lbh ner n zbfg abgbevbhf bssraqre. Lbh fgnaq pbaivpgrq bs
fvpxarff, uhatre, jergpurqarff, naq jnag.
-- Gbovnf Fzbyyrg
%
Unf gur terng neg naq zlfgrel bs cbyvgvpf ab nccnerag hgvyvgl? Qbrf vg
nccrne gb or hadhnyvsvrqyl enggl, enssvfu, fbeqvq, bofprar naq ybj qbja,
naq vgf fnyvrag iveghbfv n tnat bs hzvgvtngrq fpbhaqeryf? Gura yrg hf
abg sbetrg vgf uvtu pncnpvgl gb fbbgur naq gvpxry gur zvqevss, vgf
vapbzcnenoyr freivprf nf n znxre bs ragregnvazrag.
-- U.Y. Zrapxra, "N Pneaviny bs Ohapbzor"
%
Unir lbh abgvprq gur jnl crbcyr'f vagryyvtrapr pncnovyvgvrf qrpyvar
funecyl gur zvahgr gurl fgneg jnivat thaf nebhaq?
-- Qe. Jub
%
Ur qvqa'g eha sbe erryrpgvba. "Cbyvgvpf oevatf lbh vagb pbagnpg jvgu nyy
gur crbcyr lbh'q tvir nalguvat gb nibvq," ur fnvq. "V'z fgnlvat ubzr."
-- Tneevfba Xrvyybe, "Ynxr Jbortbar Qnlf"
%
Ur vf gur orfg bs zra jub qvfyvxrf cbjre.
-- Zbunzzrq
%
Ur gung jbhyq tbirea bguref, svefg fubhyq or gur znfgre bs uvzfrys.
%
Ur guvaxf gur Trgglfohet Nqqerff vf jurer Yvapbya yvirq.
-- Jnaqn, "N Svfu Pnyyrq Jnaqn"
%
Ur jub nggnpxf gur shaqnzragnyf bs gur Nzrevpna oebnqpnfgvat vaqhfgel
nggnpxf qrzbpenpl vgfrys.
-- Jvyyvnz F. Cnyrl, punvezna bs POF
%
Ur jub eraqref jnesner sngny gb nyy ratntrq va vg jvyy or gur terngrfg
orarsnpgbe gur jbeyq unf lrg xabja.
-- Fve Evpuneq Ohegba
%
Ur jub fyvatf zhq trarenyyl ybfrf tebhaq.
-- Nqynv Fgrirafba
%
Ur'f whfg n cbyvgvpvna gelvat gb fnir obgu uvf snprf...
%
Urne zr, zl puvrsf, V nz gverq; zl urneg vf fvpx naq fnq. Sebz jurer gur
fha abj fgnaqf V Jvyy Svtug Ab Zber Sberire.
-- Puvrs Wbfrcu bs gur Arm Crepr
%
Urer pbzrf gur bengbe, jvgu uvf sybbq bs jbeqf naq uvf qebc bs ernfba.
%
Uvfgbel unf zhpu gb fnl ba sbyybjvat gur cebcre cebprqherf. Sebz n uvfgbel
bs gur Zrkvpna eribyhgvba:
"Uvqnytb jnf yngre qrsrngrq ng Thnqnynwnen. Gur erory nezl jnf
pncgherq ba vgf jnl guebhtu gur zbhagnvaf. Nyy jrer pbhegznegvnyrq naq
fubg, rkprcg Uvqnytb, orpnhfr ur jnf n cevrfg. Ur jnf unaqrq bire gb
gur ovfubc bs Qhenatb jub rkpbzzhavpngrq uvz naq erghearq uvz gb gur
nezl jurer ur jnf gura rkrphgrq."
%
Uvfgbel vf ba bhe fvqr (nf ybat nf jr pna pbageby gur uvfgbevnaf).
%
Uvfgbel vf gur irefvba bs cnfg riragf gung crbcyr unir qrpvqrq gb nterr ba.
-- Ancbyrba Obancnegr, "Znkvzf"
%
Uvfgbel fubjf gung gur uhzna zvaq, srq ol pbafgnag npprffvbaf bs xabjyrqtr,
crevbqvpnyyl tebjf gbb ynetr sbe vgf gurbergvpny pbirevatf, naq ohefgf gurz
nfhaqre gb nccrne va arj unovyvzragf, nf gur srrqvat naq tebjvat teho, ng
vagreinyf, pnfgf vgf gbb aneebj fxva naq nffhzrf nabgure... Gehyl gur vzntb
fgngr bs Zna frrzf gb or greevoyl qvfgnag, ohg rirel zbhyg vf n fgrc tnvarq.
-- Puneyrf Qnejva, sebz "Bevtva bs gur Fcrpvrf"
%
Uvfgbel grnpurf hf gung zra naq angvbaf orunir jvfryl bapr gurl unir
rkunhfgrq nyy bgure nygreangvirf.
-- Noon Rona
%
Ubj pna lbh tbirea n angvba juvpu unf 246 xvaqf bs purrfr?
-- Puneyrf qr Tnhyyr
%
Ubj vf gur jbeyq ehyrq, naq ubj qb jnef fgneg? Qvcybzngf gryy yvrf gb
wbheanyvfgf, naq gurl oryvrir jung gurl ernq.
-- Xney Xenhf, "Ncubevfzf naq Zber Ncubevfzf"
%
V nz n sevraq bs gur jbexvat zna, naq V jbhyq engure or uvf sevraq
guna or bar.
-- Pynerapr Qneebj
%
V nz pbaivaprq gung gur gehrfg npg bs pbhentr vf gb fnpevsvpr bhefryirf
sbe bguref va n gbgnyyl abaivbyrag fgehttyr sbe whfgvpr. Gb or n zna
vf gb fhssre sbe bguref.
-- Prfne Punirm
%
V nz abg n cbyvgvpvna naq zl bgure unovgf ner nyfb tbbq.
-- N. Jneq
%
V pna uver bar unys bs gur jbexvat pynff gb xvyy gur bgure unys.
-- Wnl Tbhyq
%
V qba'g pner ubj cbbe naq varssvpvrag n yvggyr pbhagel vf; gurl yvxr gb
eha gurve bja ohfvarff. V xabj zra gung jbhyq znxr zl jvsr n orggre
uhfonaq guna V nz; ohg, qnea vg, V'z abg tbvat gb tvir ure gb 'rz.
-- Gur Orfg bs Jvyy Ebtref
%
"V qba'g pner jub qbrf gur ryrpgvat nf ybat nf V trg gb qb gur abzvangvat."
-- Obff Gjrrq
%
V qba'g yvxr gur Qhgpuzna. Ur'f n pebpbqvyr. Ur'f farnxl. V qba'g gehfg uvz.
-- Wnpx "Yrtf" Qvnzbaq, whfg orsber n crnpr pbasrerapr
jvgu Qhgpu Fpuhygm.

V qba'g gehfg Yrtf. Ur'f ahgf. Ur trgf rkpvgrq naq fgnegf chyyvat n
gevttre yvxr nabgure thl jvcrf uvf abfr.
-- Qhgpu Fpuhygm, whfg orsber n crnpr pbasrerapr jvgu
"Yrtf" Qvnzbaq.
%
V qba'g zvaq jung Pbaterff qbrf, nf ybat nf gurl qba'g qb vg va gur
fgerrgf naq sevtugra gur ubefrf.
-- Ivpgbe Uhtb
%
V QBA'G GUVAX V'Z NYBAR jura V fnl V'q yvxr gb frr zber naq zber cynargf
snyy haqre gur ehguyrff qbzvangvba bs bhe fbyne flfgrz.
-- Wnpx Unaqyrl, Gur Arj Zrkvpna, 1988.
%
V svaq guvf pbecfr thvygl bs pneelvat n pbaprnyrq jrncba naq V svar vg $40.
-- Whqtr Ebl Orna, svaqvat n cvfgby naq $40 ba n zna ur'q
whfg fubg.
%
V sbhaq Ebzr n pvgl bs oevpxf naq yrsg vg n pvgl bs zneoyr.
-- Nhthfghf Pnrfne
%
V unir n qernz. V unir n qernz gung bar qnl, ba gur erq uvyyf bs Trbetvn,
gur fbaf bs sbezre fynirf naq gur fbaf bs sbezre fynirbjaref jvyy or noyr gb
fvg qbja gbtrgure ng gur gnoyr bs oebgureubbq.
-- Znegva Yhgure Xvat, We.
%
V unir nyernql tvira gjb pbhfvaf gb gur jne naq V fgnaq ernql gb fnpevsvpr
zl jvsr'f oebgure.
-- Negrzhf Jneq
%
V unir nyjnlf abgvprq gung jurarire n enqvpny gnxrf gb Vzcrevnyvfz,
ur pngpurf vg va n irel nphgr sbez.
-- Jvafgba Puhepuvyy, 1903
%
V unir qvfpbirerq gur neg bs qrprvivat qvcybzngf. V gryy gurz gur gehgu
naq gurl arire oryvrir zr.
-- Pnzvyyb Qv Pnibhe
%
V unir tnvarq guvf ol cuvybfbcul:
gung V qb jvgubhg orvat pbzznaqrq jung bguref qb bayl sebz srne bs gur ynj.
-- Nevfgbgyr
%
V unir arire haqrefgbbq guvf yvxvat sbe jne. Vg cnaqref gb vafgvapgf
nyernql pngrerq sbe jvguva gur fpbcr bs nal erfcrpgnoyr qbzrfgvp rfgnoyvfuzrag.
-- Nyna Oraargg
%
V ubyq vg, gung n yvggyr eroryyvba, abj naq gura, vf n tbbq guvat...
-- Gubznf Wrssrefba
%
V xabj abg jvgu jung jrncbaf Jbeyq Jne VVV jvyy or sbhtug, ohg Jbeyq
Jne VI jvyy or sbhtug jvgu fgvpxf naq fgbarf.
-- Nyoreg Rvafgrva
%
V yvxr gb oryvrir gung crbcyr va gur ybat eha ner tbvat gb qb zber gb cebzbgr
crnpr guna bhe tbireazragf. Vaqrrq, V guvax gung crbcyr jnag crnpr fb zhpu
gung bar bs gurfr qnlf tbireazragf unq orggre trg bhg bs gur jnl naq yrg gurz
unir vg.
-- Qjvtug Q. Rvfraubjre
%
V zvtug unir tbar gb Jrfg Cbvag, ohg V jnf gbb cebhq gb fcrnx gb n pbaterffzna.
-- Jvyy Ebtref
%
V arrqrq gur tbbq jvyy bs gur yrtvfyngher bs sbhe fgngrf. V sbezrq gur
yrtvfyngvir obqvrf jvgu zl bja zbarl. V sbhaq gung vg jnf purncre gung jnl.
-- Wnl Tbhyq
%
V arire qral, V arire pbagenqvpg. V fbzrgvzrf sbetrg.
-- Orawnzva Qvfenryv, Oevgvfu CZ, ba qrnyvat jvgu gur
Eblny Snzvyl
%
V arire ibgr sbe nalbar. V nyjnlf ibgr ntnvafg.
-- J.P. Svryqf
%
V bjr gur tbireazrag $3400 va gnkrf. Fb V frag gurz gjb unzzref naq n
gbvyrg frng.
-- Zvpunry ZpFunar
%
V cynpr rpbabzl nzbat gur svefg naq zbfg vzcbegnag iveghrf, naq choyvp qrog nf
gur terngrfg bs qnatref gb or srnerq. Gb cerfreir bhe vaqrcraqrapr, jr zhfg
abg yrg bhe ehyref ybnq hf jvgu crecrghny qrog. Vs jr eha vagb fhpu qrogf, jr
zhfg or gnkrq va bhe zrng naq qevax, va bhe arprffvgvrf naq va bhe pbzsbegf,
va bhe ynobe naq va bhe nzhfrzragf. Vs jr pna cerirag gur tbireazrag sebz
jnfgvat gur ynobe bs gur crbcyr, haqre gur cergrafr bs pnevat sbe gurz, gurl
jvyy or unccl.
-- Gubznf Wrssrefba
%
V cyrqtr nyyrtvnapr gb gur synt
bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf bs Nzrevpn
naq gb gur erchoyvp sbe juvpu vg fgnaqf,
bar angvba,
vaqvivfvoyr,
jvgu yvoregl
naq whfgvpr sbe nyy.
-- Senapvf Oryynzl, 1892
%
V cersre gur zbfg hawhfg crnpr gb gur zbfg evtugrbhf jne.
-- Pvpreb

Rira crnpr znl or chepunfrq ng gbb uvtu n cevpr.
-- Cbbe Evpuneq
%
V ernyvmr gung gur ZK zvffvyr vf abar bs bhe pbaprea. V ernyvmr gung gur
jubyr cbvag bs yvivat va n qrzbpenpl vf gung jr cnl cebsrffvbany
pbaterffcrefbaf gb pbaprea gurzfryirf jvgu guvatf yvxr gur ZK zvffvyr fb jr
pna or serr gb pbaprea bhefryirf jvgu trggvat ubyq bs gur cyhzore.

Ohg sebz gvzr gb gvzr, V srry V zhfg nqqerff znwbe choyvp vffhrf fhpu nf
guvf, orpnhfr va n serr naq bcra fbpvrgl, jurer gur irel shgher bs gur jbeyq
uvatrf ba qrpvfvbaf znqr ol bhe ryrpgrq yrnqref, lbh arire jva ynetr pnfu
wbheanyvfz njneqf vs lbh fgvpx gb gur gbcvpf V hfhnyyl jevgr nobhg, fhpu nf
abfr-cvpxvat.
-- Qnir Oneel, "Ng Ynfg, gur Hygvzngr Qrgreerag Ntnvafg
Cbyvgvpny Snyybhg"
%
V frr n tbbq qrny bs gnyx sebz Jnfuvatgba nobhg ybjrevat gnkrf. V ubcr
gurl qb trg 'rz ybjrerq qbja rabhtu fb crbcyr pna nssbeq gb cnl 'rz.
-- Gur Orfg bs Jvyy Ebtref
%
V frr jurer jr ner fgnegvat gb cnl fbzr nggragvba gb bhe arvtobef gb
gur fbhgu. Jr pbhyq arire haqrefgnaq jul Zrkvpb jnfa'g whfg penml nobhg
hf; sbe jr unir nyjnlf unq gurve tbbq jvyy, naq bvy naq zvarenyf, ng urneg.
-- Gur Orfg bs Jvyy Ebtref
%
V fgrny.
-- Fnz Tvnapnan, rkcynvavat uvf yviryvubbq gb uvf qensg obneq

Rnfl. V bja Puvpntb. V bja Zvnzv. V bja Ynf Irtnf.
-- Fnz Tvnapnan, jura nfxrq jung ur qvq sbe n yvivat
%
V guvax gung nyy tbbq, evtug guvaxvat crbcyr va guvf pbhagel ner fvpx naq
gverq bs orvat gbyq gung nyy tbbq, evtug guvaxvat crbcyr va guvf pbhagel ner
srq hc jvgu orvat gbyq gung nyy tbbq, evtug guvaxvat crbcyr va guvf pbhagel
ner srq hc jvgu orvat fvpx naq gverq. V'z pregnvayl abg, naq V'z fvpx naq
gverq bs orvat gbyq gung V nz!
-- Zbagl Clguba
%
V guvax gur jbeyq vf eha ol P fghqragf.
-- Ny ZpThver
%
V gehfg gur svefg yvba ur zrrgf jvyy qb uvf qhgl.
-- W.C. Zbetna ba Grqql Ebbfriryg'f fnsnev
%
V gel abg gb oernx gur ehyrf ohg zreryl gb grfg gurve rynfgvpvgl.
-- Ovyy Irrpx
%
V gel gb xrrc na bcra zvaq, ohg abg fb bcra gung zl oenvaf snyy bhg.
-- Whqtr Unebyq G. Fgbar
%
V hfr abg bayl nyy gur oenvaf V unir, ohg nyy gubfr V pna obeebj nf jryy.
-- Jbbqebj Jvyfba
%
V hfrq gb or n erory va zl lbhgu.

Guvf pnhfr... gung pnhfr... (puhpxyr) V onpxrq 'rz NYY! Ohg V yrnearq.
Eroryyvba vf fvzcyl n qrivpr hfrq ol gur vzzngher gb uvqr sebz uvf bja
ceboyrzf. Fb V ybfg vagrerfg va cbyvgvpf. Abj jura V srry nebhfrq ol
n pvivy evtugf pnfr be n cnffcbeg urnevat... V ernyvmr vg'f whfg n qrivpr.
V tb gb zl nanylfg naq jr jbex vg bhg. Lbh unir ab vqrn ubj zhpu orggre
V srry gurfr qnlf.
-- W. Srvssre
%
V jnag gb or gur juvgr zna'f oebgure, abg uvf oebgure-va-ynj.
-- Znegva Yhgure Xvat, We.
%
V jnf nccnyyrq ol guvf fgbel bs gur qrfgehpgvba bs n zrzore bs n inyhrq
raqnatrerq fcrpvrf. Vg'f nyy irel jryy gb pryroengr gur cenpgvpnyvgl bs
cvtf ol raaboyvat gur cbepvar fvoyvat jub pbafgehpgrq uvf ubzr bhg bs
oevpxf naq zbegne. Ohg gb jnagbayl qrfgebl n jbys, rira bar jvgu na
rkprffvir gnfgr sbe cbexref, vf hapbafpvbanoyr va gurfr rpbybtvpnyyl
pevgvpny gvzrf jura obgu zna naq uvf qbzrfgvp ornfgf pbagvahr gb znenhq
gur rnegu.
Flyivn Xnzrezna, "Obbx Erivrjvat"
%
V jnf bssrerq n wbo nf n ubbqyhz naq V ghearq vg qbja pbyq. N guvrs vf
nalobql jub trgf bhg naq jbexf sbe uvf yvivat, yvxr eboovat n onax be
oernxvat vagb n cynpr naq fgrnyvat fghss, be xvqanccvat fbzrobql. Ur ernyyl
tvirf fbzr rssbeg gb vg. N ubbqyhz vf n cerggl ybhfl fbeg bs fphz. Ur
jbexf sbe tnatfgref naq ohzcf thlf bss jura gurl unir orra chg ba gur fcbg.
Jul, nsgre V'q znqr zl erc, fbzr bs gur Puvpntb Flaqvpngr jnagrq zr gb jbex
sbe gurz nf n ubbq -- lbh xabj, unaqyvat n znpuvar tha. Gurl bssrerq zr
gjb uhaqerq naq svsgl qbyynef n jrrx naq nyy gur cebgrpgvba V arrqrq. V
jnf ba gur ynz ng gur gvzr naq abg noyr gb jbex ng zl erthyne yvar. Ohg
V jbhyqa'g pbafvqre vg. "V'z n guvrs," V fnvq. "V'z ab ybhfl ubbqyhz."
-- Nyiva Xnecvf, "Choyvp Rarzl Ahzore Bar"
%
V jrag gb zl zbgure naq gbyq ure V vagraqrq gb pbzzrapr n qvssrerag yvsr. V
nfxrq sbe naq bognvarq ure oyrffvat naq ng bapr pbzzraprq gur pnerre bs n
eboore.
-- Gvohepvb Infdhrm
%
V jvfu n ebobg jbhyq trg ryrpgrq cerfvqrag. Gung jnl, jura ur pnzr gb gbja,
jr pbhyq nyy gnxr n fubg ng uvz naq abg srry gbb onq.
-- Wnpx Unaqyrl
%
V jbhyq yvxr gur tbireazrag gb qb nyy vg pna gb zvgvtngr, gura, va
haqrefgnaqvat, va zhghnyvgl bs vagrerfg, va pbaprea sbe gur pbzzba tbbq,
bhe gnfxf jvyy or fbyirq.
-- Jneera T. Uneqvat
%
V jbhyq yvxr gb ryrpgebphgr rirelbar jub hfrf gur jbeq 'snve' va pbaarpgvba
jvgu vapbzr gnk cbyvpvrf.
-- Jvyyvnz S. Ohpxyrl
%
V jbhyq zhpu engure unir zra nfx jul V unir ab fgnghr, guna jul V unir bar.
-- Znephf Cebpvhf Pngb
%
V jbhyq engure or n fres va n cbbe zna'f ubhfr naq or nobir tebhaq guna
ervta nzbat gur qrnq.
-- Npuvyyrf, "Gur Bqrffrl", KV, 489-91
%
V'q yvxr gb frr gur tbireazrag trg bhg bs jne nygbtrgure naq yrnir gur
jubyr svryq gb cevingr vaqhfgel.
-- Wbfrcu Uryyre
%
"V'yy pneel lbhe obbxf, V'yy pneel n ghar, V'yy pneel ba, pneel bire,
pneel sbejneq, Pnel Tenag, pnfu & pneel, Pneel Zr Onpx Gb Byq Ivetvavn,
V'yy rira Unen Xnev vs lbh fubj zr ubj, ohg V jvyy *abg* pneel n tha."
-- Unjxrlr, Z*N*F*U
%
"V'yy ebo gung evpu crefba naq tvir vg gb fbzr cbbe qrfreivat fybo.
Gung jvyy *cebir* V'z Ebova Ubbq."
-- Qnssl Qhpx, "Ebova Ubbq Qnssl", [1958, Puhpx Wbarf]
%
V'z tbvat gb Ivrganz ng gur erdhrfg bs gur Juvgr Ubhfr. Cerfvqrag Wbuafba
fnlf n jne vfa'g ernyyl n jne jvgubhg zl wbxrf.
-- Obo Ubcr
%
"V'z abg fghcvq, V'z abg rkcraqnoyr, naq V'Z ABG TBVAT!"
%
V'z cebhq gb or cnlvat gnkrf va gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Gur bayl guvat vf
-- V pbhyq or whfg nf cebhq sbe unys gur zbarl.
-- Neguhe Tbqserl
%
"V'z jvyyvat gb fnpevsvpr nalguvat sbe guvf pnhfr, rira bgure crbcyr'f yvirf."
%
V'ir nyjnlf pbafvqrerq fgngrfzra gb or zber rkcraqnoyr guna fbyqvref.
%
Vs n angvba inyhrf nalguvat zber guna serrqbz, vg jvyy ybfr vgf serrqbz;
naq gur vebal bs vg vf gung vs vg vf pbzsbeg be zbarl vg inyhrf zber, vg
jvyy ybfr gung, gbb.
-- J. Fbzrefrg Znhtunz
%
Vs ohvyg va terng ahzoref, zbgryf jvyy or hfrq sbe abguvat ohg vyyrtny
checbfrf.
-- W. Rqtne Ubbire
%
Vs rirelobql zvaqrq gurve bja ohfvarff, gur jbeyq jbhyq tb nebhaq n qrny snfgre.
-- Gur Qhpurff, "Guebhtu gur Ybbxvat Tynff"
%
Vs svsgl zvyyvba crbcyr fnl n sbbyvfu guvat, vg'f fgvyy n sbbyvfu guvat.
-- Oregenaq Ehffryy
%
Vs Tbq unq zrnag sbe hf gb or va gur Nezl, jr jbhyq unir orra obea jvgu
terra, onttl fxva.
%
Vs Tbq jnagrq hf gb unir n Cerfvqrag, Ur jbhyq unir frag hf n pnaqvqngr.
-- Wreel Qerfusvryq
%
Vs Xney, vafgrnq bs jevgvat n ybg nobhg Pncvgny, unq znqr n ybg bs Pncvgny,
vg jbhyq unir orra zhpu orggre.
-- Xney Znek'f Zbgure
%
Vs Cngevpx Urael gubhtug gung gnkngvba jvgubhg ercerfragngvba jnf onq,
ur fubhyq frr ubj onq vg vf jvgu ercerfragngvba.
%
Vs crbcyr unir gb pubbfr orgjrra serrqbz naq fnaqjvpurf, gurl
jvyy gnxr fnaqjvpurf.
-- Ybeq Oblq-bee

Rngf svefg, zbenyf nsgre.
-- Oregbyg Oerpug, "Gur Guerrcraal Bcren"
%
Vs ceb vf gur bccbfvgr bs pba, jung vf gur bccbfvgr bs cebterff?
%
Vs fbpvrgl svgf lbh pbzsbegnoyl rabhtu, lbh pnyy vg serrqbz.
-- Eboreg Sebfg
%
Vs gur Nzrevpna qernz vf sbe Nzrevpnaf bayl, vg jvyy erznva bhe qernz
naq arire or bhe qrfgval.
-- Era'r qr Ivfzr Jvyyvnzfba
%
Vs gur tbireazrag qbrfa'g gehfg gur crbcyr, jul qbrfa'g vg qvffbyir gurz
naq ryrpg n arj crbcyr?
%
"Vs gur Xvat'f Ratyvfu jnf tbbq rabhtu sbe Wrfhf, vg'f tbbq rabhtu sbe zr!"
-- "Zn" Srethfba, Tbireabe bs Grknf (pvepn 1920)
%
Vs gur evpu pbhyq cnl gur cbbe gb qvr sbe gurz, jung n yvivat gur cbbe
pbhyq znxr!
%
Vs gurl jrer fb vapyvarq, gurl pbhyq vzcrnpu uvz orpnhfr gurl qba'g yvxr
uvf arpxgvr.
-- Nggbearl Trareny Jvyyvnz Fnkor
%
Vs ibgvat pbhyq punatr gur flfgrz, vg jbhyq or vyyrtny. Vs abg ibgvat
pbhyq punatr gur flfgrz, vg jbhyq or vyyrtny.
%
Vs jr nyy jbex gbtrgure, jr pna gbgnyyl qvfehcg gur flfgrz.
%
Vs jr pna rire znxr erq gncr ahgevgvbany, jr pna srrq gur jbeyq.
-- E. Fpunroreyr, "Znantrzrag Nppbhagvat"
%
Vs jr fhssre gnzryl n ynjyrff nggnpx hcba bhe yvoregl, jr rapbhentr vg,
naq vaibyir bguref va bhe qbbz.
-- Fnzhry Nqnzf
%
Vs jr jba'g fgnaq gbtrgure, jr qba'g fgnaq n punapr.
%
Vs lbh qba'g fgevxr bvy va gjragl zvahgrf, fgbc obevat.
-- Naqerj Pneartvr, ba choyvp fcrnxvat
%
"Vs lbh rire jnag gb trg naljurer va cbyvgvpf, zl obl, lbh'er tbvat gb
unir gb trg n gbrubyq va gur choyvp rlr."
%
Vs lbh tvir Pbaterff n punapr gb ibgr ba obgu fvqrf bs na vffhr, vg
jvyy nyjnlf qb vg.
-- Yrf Nfcva, Q., Jvfpbafva
%
Vs lbh tb ba jvgu guvf ahpyrne nezf enpr, nyy lbh ner tbvat gb qb vf
znxr gur ehooyr obhapr.
-- Jvafgba Puhepuvyy
%
Vs lbh yvir va n pbhagel eha ol pbzzvggrr, or ba gur pbzzvggrr.
-- Tenunz Fhzzre
%
Vs lbh znxr nal zbarl, gur tbireazrag fubirf lbh va gur perrx bapr n lrne
jvgu vg va lbhe cbpxrgf, naq nyy gung qba'g trg jrg lbh pna xrrc.
-- Gur Orfg bs Jvyy Ebtref
%
Vs lbh gbbx nyy bs gur tenvaf bs fnaq va gur jbeyq, naq yvarq
gurz hc raq gb raq va n ebj, lbh'q or jbexvat sbe gur tbireazrag!
-- Ze. Vagrerfgvat
%
Vs lbh jnag gb haqrefgnaq lbhe tbireazrag, qba'g ortva ol ernqvat gur
Pbafgvghgvba. Vg pbairlf cerpvbhf yvggyr bs gur synibe bs gbqnl'f
fgngrpensg. Vafgrnq, ernq fryrpgrq cbegvbaf bs gur Jnfuvatgba gryrcubar
qverpgbel pbagnvavat yvfgvatf sbe nyy gur betnavmngvbaf jvgu gvgyrf
ortvaavat jvgu gur jbeq "Angvbany."
-- Trbetr Jvyy
%
Vs lbh jnagf gb trg ryrpgrq cerfvqrag, lbh'fr tbg gb guvax hc fbzr
zrzbenoboyr ubzvyl fb'f fpubby xvqf pna or crfgrerq vagb zrzbevmva'
vg, rira vs gurl qba'g xabj jung vg zrnaf.
-- Jnyg Xryyl, "Gur Cbtb Cnegl"
%
Vs lbhe unaqf ner pyrna naq lbhe pnhfr vf whfg naq lbhe qrznaqf ner
ernfbanoyr, ng yrnfg vg'f n fgneg.
%
Vyyrtny nyvraf unir nyjnlf orra n ceboyrz va gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Nfx nal Vaqvna.
-- Eboreg Beora

Vzzvtengvba vf gur fvaprerfg sbez bs synggrel.
-- Wnpx Cnne
%
Vzonynapr bs cbjre pbeehcgf naq zbabcbyl bs cbjre pbeehcgf nofbyhgryl.
-- Trawv
%
Vzzvtengvba vf gur fvaprerfg sbez bs synggrel.
-- Wnpx Cnne
%
Va Nzrevpn, nal obl znl orpbzr cerfvqrag naq V fhccbfr gung'f whfg bar
bs gur evfxf ur gnxrf.
-- Nqynv Fgrirafba
%
Va na beqreyl jbeyq, gurer'f nyjnlf n cynpr sbe gur qvfbeqreyl.
%
Va pnfr bs ngbzvp nggnpx, gur srqreny ehyvat ntnvafg cenlre va fpubbyf
jvyy or grzcbenevyl pnapryrq.
%
Va qrsrng, haorngnoyr; va ivpgbel, haornenoyr.
-- J. Puhepuvyy, ba Trareny Zbagtbzrel
%
Va Qe. Wbuafba'f snzbhf qvpgvbanel cngevbgvfz vf qrsvarq nf gur ynfg
erfbeg bs gur fpbhaqery. Jvgu nyy qhr erfcrpg gb na rayvtugrarq ohg
vasrevbe yrkvpbtencure V ort gb fhozvg gung vg vf gur svefg.
-- Nzoebfr Ovrepr, "Gur Qrivy'f Qvpgvbanel"
%
Va svpgvba gur erpbhefr bs gur cbjreyrff vf zheqre; va yvsr gur erpbhefr
bs gur cbjreyrff vf crggl gursg.
%
Va Treznal gurl svefg pnzr sbe gur Pbzzhavfgf naq V qvqa'g fcrnx hc orpnhfr
V jnfa'g n Pbzzhavfg. Gura gurl pnzr sbe gur Wrjf, naq V qvqa'g fcrnx hc
orpnhfr V jnfa'g n Wrj. Gura gurl pnzr sbe gur genqr havbavfgf, naq V
qvqa'g fcrnx hc orpnhfr V jnfa'g n genqr havbavfg. Gura gurl pnzr sbe gur
Pngubyvpf, naq V qvqa'g fcrnx hc orpnhfr V jnf n Cebgrfgnag. Gura gurl pnzr
sbe zr -- naq ol gung gvzr ab bar jnf yrsg gb fcrnx hc.
-- Cnfgbe Znegva Avrzbyyre
%
Va Vgnyl, sbe guvegl lrnef haqre gur Obetvnf, gurl unq jnesner, greebe,
zheqre, naq oybbqfurq, ohg gurl cebqhprq Zvpunrynatryb, Yrbaneqb qn Ivapv
naq gur Eranvffnapr. Va Fjvgmreynaq, gurl unq oebgureyl ybir, gurl unq
svir uhaqerq lrnef bs qrzbpenpl naq crnpr -- naq jung qvq gurl cebqhpr?
Gur phpxbb-pybpx.
-- Befba Jryyrf, "Gur Guveq Zna"
%
Va bhe pvivyvmngvba, naq haqre bhe erchoyvpna sbez bs tbireazrag, vagryyvtrapr
vf fb uvtuyl ubaberq gung vg vf erjneqrq ol rkrzcgvba sebz gur pnerf bs bssvpr.
-- Nzoebfr Ovrepr, "Gur Qrivy'f Qvpgvbanel"
%
Va Cvreer Gehqrnh, Pnanqn unf svanyyl cebqhprq n Cevzr Zvavfgre jbegul bs
nffnffvangvba.
-- Wbua Qvrsraonxre
%
Va gur Unyyf bs Whfgvpr gur bayl whfgvpr vf va gur unyyf.
-- Yraal Oehpr
%
Va gubfr qnlf ur jnf jvfre guna ur vf abj -- ur hfrq gb serdhragyl gnxr
zl nqivpr.
-- Jvafgba Puhepuvyy

edit: tried to make the text smaller but it didn't seem to work... Also I posted this because the site is down (for good?) and I got it off google cache and if I posted the link it wouldn't display it properly.

[Edited on 2-5-2003 by Lysergic]

GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY: #3

AUGUST 27, 1949:
A HALL OF FAME OPENED TO HONOR OUTSTANDING MEMBERS OF THE
WOMEN'S AIR CORP. IT WAS A WAC'S MUSEUM.
%
GROVER CLEVELAND, THOUGH CONSTANTLY AT LOGGERHEADS WITH THE
SENATE, GOT ON BETTER WITH THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. A POPULAR
STORY CIRCULATING DURING HIS PRESIDENCY CONCERNED THE NIGHT HE WAS
ROUSED BY HIS WIFE CRYING, "WAKE UP! I THINK THERE ARE BURGLARS IN THE
HOUSE."
"NO, NO, MY DEAR," SAID THE PRESIDENT SLEEPILY, "IN THE SENATE MAYBE,
BUT NOT IN THE HOUSE."
%
GRUB FIRST, THEN ETHICS.
-- BERTOLT BRECHT
%
HARK YE, CLINKER, YOU ARE A MOST NOTORIOUS OFFENDER. YOU STAND CONVICTED OF
SICKNESS, HUNGER, WRETCHEDNESS, AND WANT.
-- TOBIAS SMOLLET
%
HAS THE GREAT ART AND MYSTERY OF POLITICS NO APPARENT UTILITY? DOES IT
APPEAR TO BE UNQUALIFIEDLY RATTY, RAFFISH, SORDID, OBSCENE AND LOW DOWN,
AND ITS SALIENT VIRTUOSI A GANG OF UMITIGATED SCOUNDRELS? THEN LET US
NOT FORGET ITS HIGH CAPACITY TO SOOTHE AND TICKEL THE MIDRIFF, ITS
INCOMPARABLE SERVICES AS A MAKER OF ENTERTAINMENT.
-- H.L. MENCKEN, "A CARNIVAL OF BUNCOMBE"
%
HAVE YOU NOTICED THE WAY PEOPLE'S INTELLIGENCE CAPABILITIES DECLINE
SHARPLY THE MINUTE THEY START WAVING GUNS AROUND?
-- DR. WHO
%
HE DIDN'T RUN FOR REELECTION. "POLITICS BRINGS YOU INTO CONTACT WITH ALL
THE PEOPLE YOU'D GIVE ANYTHING TO AVOID," HE SAID. "I'M STAYING HOME."
-- GARRISON KEILLOR, "LAKE WOBEGONE DAYS"
%
HE IS THE BEST OF MEN WHO DISLIKES POWER.
-- MOHAMMED
%
HE THAT WOULD GOVERN OTHERS, FIRST SHOULD BE THE MASTER OF HIMSELF.
%
HE THINKS THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS IS WHERE LINCOLN LIVED.
-- WANDA, "A FISH CALLED WANDA"
%
HE WHO ATTACKS THE FUNDAMENTALS OF THE AMERICAN BROADCASTING INDUSTRY
ATTACKS DEMOCRACY ITSELF.
-- WILLIAM S. PALEY, CHAIRMAN OF CBS
%
HE WHO RENDERS WARFARE FATAL TO ALL ENGAGED IN IT WILL BE THE GREATEST
BENEFACTOR THE WORLD HAS YET KNOWN.
-- SIR RICHARD BURTON
%
HE WHO SLINGS MUD GENERALLY LOSES GROUND.
-- ADLAI STEVENSON
%
HE'S JUST A POLITICIAN TRYING TO SAVE BOTH HIS FACES...
%
HEAR ME, MY CHIEFS, I AM TIRED; MY HEART IS SICK AND SAD. FROM WHERE THE
SUN NOW STANDS I WILL FIGHT NO MORE FOREVER.
-- CHIEF JOSEPH OF THE NEm PERCE
%
HERE COMES THE ORATOR, WITH HIS FLOOD OF WORDS AND HIS DROP OF REASON.
%
HISTORY HAS MUCH TO SAY ON FOLLOWING THE PROPER PROCEDURES. FROM A HISTORY
OF THE MEXICAN REVOLUTION:
"HIDALGO WAS LATER DEFEATED AT GUADALAJARA. THE REBEL ARMY WAS
CAPTURED ON ITS WAY THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS. ALL WERE COURTMARTIALED AND
SHOT, EXCEPT HIDALGO, BECAUSE HE WAS A PRIEST. HE WAS HANDED OVER TO
THE BISHOP OF DURANGO WHO EXCOMMUNICATED HIM AND RETURNED HIM TO THE
ARMY WHERE HE WAS THEN EXECUTED."
%
HISTORY IS ON OUR SIDE (AS LONG AS WE CAN CONTROL THE HISTORIANS).
%
HISTORY IS THE VERSION OF PAST EVENTS THAT PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO AGREE ON.
-- NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, "MAXIMS"
%
HISTORY SHOWS THAT THE HUMAN MIND, FED BY CONSTANT ACCESSIONS OF KNOWLEDGE,
PERIODICALLY GROWS TOO LARGE FOR ITS THEORETICAL COVERINGS, AND BURSTS THEM
ASUNDER TO APPEAR IN NEW HABILIMENTS, AS THE FEEDING AND GROWING GRUB, AT
INTERVALS, CASTS ITS TOO NARROW SKIN AND ASSUMES ANOTHER... TRULY THE IMAGO
STATE OF MAN SEEMS TO BE TERRIBLY DISTANT, BUT EVERY MOULT IS A STEP GAINED.
-- CHARLES DARWIN, FROM "ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES"
%
HISTORY TEACHES US THAT MEN AND NATIONS BEHAVE WISELY ONCE THEY HAVE
EXHAUSTED ALL OTHER ALTERNATIVES.
-- ABBA EBAN
%
HOW CAN YOU GOVERN A NATION WHICH HAS 246 KINDS OF CHEESE?
-- CHARLES DE GAULLE
%
HOW IS THE WORLD RULED, AND HOW DO WARS START? DIPLOMATS TELL LIES TO
JOURNALISTS, AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT THEY READ.
-- KARL KRAUS, "APHORISMS AND MORE APHORISMS"
%
I AM A FRIEND OF THE WORKING MAN, AND I WOULD RATHER BE HIS FRIEND
THAN BE ONE.
-- CLARENCE DARROW
%
I AM CONVINCED THAT THE TRUEST ACT OF COURAGE IS TO SACRIFICE OURSELVES
FOR OTHERS IN A TOTALLY NONVIOLENT STRUGGLE FOR JUSTICE. TO BE A MAN
IS TO SUFFER FOR OTHERS.
-- CESAR CHAVEm
%
I AM NOT A POLITICIAN AND MY OTHER HABITS ARE ALSO GOOD.
-- A. WARD
%
I CAN HIRE ONE HALF OF THE WORKING CLASS TO KILL THE OTHER HALF.
-- JAY GOULD
%
I DON'T CARE HOW POOR AND INEFFICIENT A LITTLE COUNTRY IS; THEY LIKE TO
RUN THEIR OWN BUSINESS. I KNOW MEN THAT WOULD MAKE MY WIFE A BETTER
HUSBAND THAN I AM; BUT, DARN IT, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE HER TO 'EM.
-- THE BEST OF WILL ROGERS
%
"I DON'T CARE WHO DOES THE ELECTING AS LONG AS I GET TO DO THE NOMINATING."
-- BOSS TWEED
%
I DON'T LIKE THE DUTCHMAN. HE'S A CROCODILE. HE'S SNEAKY. I DON'T TRUST HIM.
-- JACK "LEGS" DIAMOND, JUST BEFORE A PEACE CONFERENCE
WITH DUTCH SCHULTm.

I DON'T TRUST LEGS. HE'S NUTS. HE GETS EXCITED AND STARTS PULLING A
TRIGGER LIKE ANOTHER GUY WIPES HIS NOSE.
-- DUTCH SCHULTm, JUST BEFORE A PEACE CONFERENCE WITH
"LEGS" DIAMOND.
%
I DON'T MIND WHAT CONGRESS DOES, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T DO IT IN THE
STREETS AND FRIGHTEN THE HORSES.
-- VICTOR HUGO
%
I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE WHEN I SAY I'D LIKE TO SEE MORE AND MORE PLANETS
FALL UNDER THE RUTHLESS DOMINATION OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.
-- JACK HANDLEY, THE NEW MEXICAN, 1988.
%
I FIND THIS CORPSE GUILTY OF CARRYING A CONCEALED WEAPON AND I FINE IT $40.
-- JUDGE ROY BEAN, FINDING A PISTOL AND $40 ON A MAN HE'D
JUST SHOT.
%
I FOUND ROME A CITY OF BRICKS AND LEFT IT A CITY OF MARBLE.
-- AUGUSTUS CAESAR
%
I HAVE A DREAM. I HAVE A DREAM THAT ONE DAY, ON THE RED HILLS OF GEORGIA,
THE SONS OF FORMER SLAVES AND THE SONS OF FORMER SLAVEOWNERS WILL BE ABLE TO
SIT DOWN TOGETHER AT THE TABLE OF BROTHERHOOD.
-- MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
%
I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN TWO COUSINS TO THE WAR AND I STAND READY TO SACRIFICE
MY WIFE'S BROTHER.
-- ARTEMUS WARD
%
I HAVE ALWAYS NOTICED THAT WHENEVER A RADICAL TAKES TO IMPERIALISM,
HE CATCHES IT IN A VERY ACUTE FORM.
-- WINSTON CHURCHILL, 1903
%
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE ART OF DECEIVING DIPLOMATS. I TELL THEM THE TRUTH
AND THEY NEVER BELIEVE ME.
-- CAMILLO DI CAVOUR
%
I HAVE GAINED THIS BY PHILOSOPHY:
THAT I DO WITHOUT BEING COMMANDED WHAT OTHERS DO ONLY FROM FEAR OF THE LAW.
-- ARISTOTLE
%
I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS LIKING FOR WAR. IT PANDERS TO INSTINCTS
ALREADY CATERED FOR WITHIN THE SCOPE OF ANY RESPECTABLE DOMESTIC ESTABLISHMENT.
-- ALAN BENNETT
%
I HOLD IT, THAT A LITTLE REBELLION, NOW AND THEN, IS A GOOD THING...
-- THOMAS JEFFERSON
%
I KNOW NOT WITH WHAT WEAPONS WORLD WAR III WILL BE FOUGHT, BUT WORLD
WAR IV WILL BE FOUGHT WITH STICKS AND STONES.
-- ALBERT EINSTEIN
%
I LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE IN THE LONG RUN ARE GOING TO DO MORE TO PROMOTE
PEACE THAN OUR GOVERNMENTS. INDEED, I THINK THAT PEOPLE WANT PEACE SO MUCH
THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS GOVERNMENTS HAD BETTER GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET THEM
HAVE IT.
-- DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER
%
I MIGHT HAVE GONE TO WEST POINT, BUT I WAS TOO PROUD TO SPEAK TO A CONGRESSMAN.
-- WILL ROGERS
%
I NEEDED THE GOOD WILL OF THE LEGISLATURE OF FOUR STATES. I FORMED THE
LEGISLATIVE BODIES WITH MY OWN MONEY. I FOUND THAT IT WAS CHEAPER THAT WAY.
-- JAY GOULD
%
I NEVER DENY, I NEVER CONTRADICT. I SOMETIMES FORGET.
-- BENJAMIN DISRAELI, BRITISH PM, ON DEALING WITH THE
ROYAL FAMILY
%
I NEVER VOTE FOR ANYONE. I ALWAYS VOTE AGAINST.
-- W.C. FIELDS
%
I OWE THE GOVERNMENT $3400 IN TAXES. SO I SENT THEM TWO HAMMERS AND A
TOILET SEAT.
-- MICHAEL MCSHANE
%
I PLACE ECONOMY AMONG THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT VIRTUES, AND PUBLIC DEBT AS
THE GREATEST OF DANGERS TO BE FEARED. TO PRESERVE OUR INDEPENDENCE, WE MUST
NOT LET OUR RULERS LOAD US WITH PERPETUAL DEBT. IF WE RUN INTO SUCH DEBTS, WE
MUST BE TAXED IN OUR MEAT AND DRINK, IN OUR NECESSITIES AND IN OUR COMFORTS,
IN OUR LABOR AND IN OUR AMUSEMENTS. IF WE CAN PREVENT THE GOVERNMENT FROM
WASTING THE LABOR OF THE PEOPLE, UNDER THE PRETENSE OF CARING FOR THEM, THEY
WILL BE HAPPY.
-- THOMAS JEFFERSON
%
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION,
INDIVISIBLE,
WITH LIBERTY
AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
-- FRANCIS BELLAMY, 1892
%
I PREFER THE MOST UNJUST PEACE TO THE MOST RIGHTEOUS WAR.
-- CICERO

EVEN PEACE MAY BE PURCHASED AT TOO HIGH A PRICE.
-- POOR RICHARD
%
I REALImE THAT THE MX MISSILE IS NONE OF OUR CONCERN. I REALImE THAT THE
WHOLE POINT OF LIVING IN A DEMOCRACY IS THAT WE PAY PROFESSIONAL
CONGRESSPERSONS TO CONCERN THEMSELVES WITH THINGS LIKE THE MX MISSILE SO WE
CAN BE FREE TO CONCERN OURSELVES WITH GETTING HOLD OF THE PLUMBER.

BUT FROM TIME TO TIME, I FEEL I MUST ADDRESS MAJOR PUBLIC ISSUES SUCH AS
THIS, BECAUSE IN A FREE AND OPEN SOCIETY, WHERE THE VERY FUTURE OF THE WORLD
HINGES ON DECISIONS MADE BY OUR ELECTED LEADERS, YOU NEVER WIN LARGE CASH
JOURNALISM AWARDS IF YOU STICK TO THE TOPICS I USUALLY WRITE ABOUT, SUCH AS
NOSE-PICKING.
-- DAVE BARRY, "AT LAST, THE ULTIMATE DETERRENT AGAINST
POLITICAL FALLOUT"
%
I SEE A GOOD DEAL OF TALK FROM WASHINGTON ABOUT LOWERING TAXES. I HOPE
THEY DO GET 'EM LOWERED DOWN ENOUGH SO PEOPLE CAN AFFORD TO PAY 'EM.
-- THE BEST OF WILL ROGERS
%
I SEE WHERE WE ARE STARTING TO PAY SOME ATTENTION TO OUR NEIGBORS TO
THE SOUTH. WE COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY MEXICO WASN'T JUST CRAmY ABOUT
US; FOR WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD THEIR GOOD WILL, AND OIL AND MINERALS, AT HEART.
-- THE BEST OF WILL ROGERS
%
I STEAL.
-- SAM GIANCANA, EXPLAINING HIS LIVELIHOOD TO HIS DRAFT BOARD

EASY. I OWN CHICAGO. I OWN MIAMI. I OWN LAS VEGAS.
-- SAM GIANCANA, WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING
%
I THINK THAT ALL GOOD, RIGHT THINKING PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY ARE SICK AND
TIRED OF BEING TOLD THAT ALL GOOD, RIGHT THINKING PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY ARE
FED UP WITH BEING TOLD THAT ALL GOOD, RIGHT THINKING PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY
ARE FED UP WITH BEING SICK AND TIRED. I'M CERTAINLY NOT, AND I'M SICK AND
TIRED OF BEING TOLD THAT I AM!
-- MONTY PYTHON
%
I THINK THE WORLD IS RUN BY C STUDENTS.
-- AL MCGUIRE
%
I TRUST THE FIRST LION HE MEETS WILL DO HIS DUTY.
-- J.P. MORGAN ON TEDDY ROOSEVELT'S SAFARI
%
I TRY NOT TO BREAK THE RULES BUT MERELY TO TEST THEIR ELASTICITY.
-- BILL VEECK
%
I TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND, BUT NOT SO OPEN THAT MY BRAINS FALL OUT.
-- JUDGE HAROLD T. STONE
%
I USE NOT ONLY ALL THE BRAINS I HAVE, BUT ALL THOSE I CAN BORROW AS WELL.
-- WOODROW WILSON
%
I USED TO BE A REBEL IN MY YOUTH.

THIS CAUSE... THAT CAUSE... (CHUCKLE) I BACKED 'EM ALL! BUT I LEARNED.
REBELLION IS SIMPLY A DEVICE USED BY THE IMMATURE TO HIDE FROM HIS OWN
PROBLEMS. SO I LOST INTEREST IN POLITICS. NOW WHEN I FEEL AROUSED BY
A CIVIL RIGHTS CASE OR A PASSPORT HEARING... I REALImE IT'S JUST A DEVICE.
I GO TO MY ANALYST AND WE WORK IT OUT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH BETTER
I FEEL THESE DAYS.
-- J. FEIFFER
%
I WANT TO BE THE WHITE MAN'S BROTHER, NOT HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW.
-- MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
%
I WAS APPALLED BY THIS STORY OF THE DESTRUCTION OF A MEMBER OF A VALUED
ENDANGERED SPECIES. IT'S ALL VERY WELL TO CELEBRATE THE PRACTICALITY OF
PIGS BY ENNOBLING THE PORCINE SIBLING WHO CONSTRUCTED HIS HOME OUT OF
BRICKS AND MORTAR. BUT TO WANTONLY DESTROY A WOLF, EVEN ONE WITH AN
EXCESSIVE TASTE FOR PORKERS, IS UNCONSCIONABLE IN THESE ECOLOGICALLY
CRITICAL TIMES WHEN BOTH MAN AND HIS DOMESTIC BEASTS CONTINUE TO MARAUD
THE EARTH.
SYLVIA KAMERMAN, "BOOK REVIEWING"
%
I WAS OFFERED A JOB AS A HOODLUM AND I TURNED IT DOWN COLD. A THIEF IS
ANYBODY WHO GETS OUT AND WORKS FOR HIS LIVING, LIKE ROBBING A BANK OR
BREAKING INTO A PLACE AND STEALING STUFF, OR KIDNAPPING SOMEBODY. HE REALLY
GIVES SOME EFFORT TO IT. A HOODLUM IS A PRETTY LOUSY SORT OF SCUM. HE
WORKS FOR GANGSTERS AND BUMPS GUYS OFF WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN PUT ON THE SPOT.
WHY, AFTER I'D MADE MY REP, SOME OF THE CHICAGO SYNDICATE WANTED ME TO WORK
FOR THEM AS A HOOD -- YOU KNOW, HANDLING A MACHINE GUN. THEY OFFERED ME
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS A WEEK AND ALL THE PROTECTION I NEEDED. I
WAS ON THE LAM AT THE TIME AND NOT ABLE TO WORK AT MY REGULAR LINE. BUT
I WOULDN'T CONSIDER IT. "I'M A THIEF," I SAID. "I'M NO LOUSY HOODLUM."
-- ALVIN KARPIS, "PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE"
%
I WENT TO MY MOTHER AND TOLD HER I INTENDED TO COMMENCE A DIFFERENT LIFE. I
ASKED FOR AND OBTAINED HER BLESSING AND AT ONCE COMMENCED THE CAREER OF A
ROBBER.
-- TIBURCIO VASQUEm
%
I WISH A ROBOT WOULD GET ELECTED PRESIDENT. THAT WAY, WHEN HE CAME TO TOWN,
WE COULD ALL TAKE A SHOT AT HIM AND NOT FEEL TOO BAD.
-- JACK HANDLEY
%
I WOULD LIKE THE GOVERNMENT TO DO ALL IT CAN TO MITIGATE, THEN, IN
UNDERSTANDING, IN MUTUALITY OF INTEREST, IN CONCERN FOR THE COMMON GOOD,
OUR TASKS WILL BE SOLVED.
-- WARREN G. HARDING
%
I WOULD LIKE TO ELECTROCUTE EVERYONE WHO USES THE WORD 'FAIR' IN CONNECTION
WITH INCOME TAX POLICIES.
-- WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY
%
I WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE MEN ASK WHY I HAVE NO STATUE, THAN WHY I HAVE ONE.
-- MARCUS PROCIUS CATO
%
I WOULD RATHER BE A SERF IN A POOR MAN'S HOUSE AND BE ABOVE GROUND THAN
REIGN AMONG THE DEAD.
-- ACHILLES, "THE ODESSEY", XI, 489-91
%
I'D LIKE TO SEE THE GOVERNMENT GET OUT OF WAR ALTOGETHER AND LEAVE THE
WHOLE FIELD TO PRIVATE INDUSTRY.
-- JOSEPH HELLER
%
"I'LL CARRY YOUR BOOKS, I'LL CARRY A TUNE, I'LL CARRY ON, CARRY OVER,
CARRY FORWARD, CARY GRANT, CASH & CARRY, CARRY ME BACK TO OLD VIRGINIA,
I'LL EVEN HARA KARI IF YOU SHOW ME HOW, BUT I WILL *NOT* CARRY A GUN."
-- HAWKEYE, M*A*S*H
%
"I'LL ROB THAT RICH PERSON AND GIVE IT TO SOME POOR DESERVING SLOB.
THAT WILL *PROVE* I'M ROBIN HOOD."
-- DAFFY DUCK, "ROBIN HOOD DAFFY", [1958, CHUCK JONES]
%
I'M GOING TO VIETNAM AT THE REQUEST OF THE WHITE HOUSE. PRESIDENT JOHNSON
SAYS A WAR ISN'T REALLY A WAR WITHOUT MY JOKES.
-- BOB HOPE
%
"I'M NOT STUPID, I'M NOT EXPENDABLE, AND I'M NOT GOING!"
%
I'M PROUD TO BE PAYING TAXES IN THE UNITED STATES. THE ONLY THING IS
-- I COULD BE JUST AS PROUD FOR HALF THE MONEY.
-- ARTHUR GODFREY
%
"I'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR THIS CAUSE, EVEN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES."
%
I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED STATESMEN TO BE MORE EXPENDABLE THAN SOLDIERS.
%
IF A NATION VALUES ANYTHING MORE THAN FREEDOM, IT WILL LOSE ITS FREEDOM;
AND THE IRONY OF IT IS THAT IF IT IS COMFORT OR MONEY IT VALUES MORE, IT
WILL LOSE THAT, TOO.
-- W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
%
IF BUILT IN GREAT NUMBERS, MOTELS WILL BE USED FOR NOTHING BUT ILLEGAL
PURPOSES.
-- J. EDGAR HOOVER
%
IF EVERYBODY MINDED THEIR OWN BUSINESS, THE WORLD WOULD GO AROUND A DEAL FASTER.
-- THE DUCHESS, "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS"
%
IF FIFTY MILLION PEOPLE SAY A FOOLISH THING, IT'S STILL A FOOLISH THING.
-- BERTRAND RUSSELL
%
IF GOD HAD MEANT FOR US TO BE IN THE ARMY, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BORN WITH
GREEN, BAGGY SKIN.
%
IF GOD WANTED US TO HAVE A PRESIDENT, HE WOULD HAVE SENT US A CANDIDATE.
-- JERRY DRESHFIELD
%
IF KARL, INSTEAD OF WRITING A LOT ABOUT CAPITAL, HAD MADE A LOT OF CAPITAL,
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER.
-- KARL MARX'S MOTHER
%
IF PATRICK HENRY THOUGHT THAT TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION WAS BAD,
HE SHOULD SEE HOW BAD IT IS WITH REPRESENTATION.
%
IF PEOPLE HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FREEDOM AND SANDWICHES, THEY
WILL TAKE SANDWICHES.
-- LORD BOYD-ORR

EATS FIRST, MORALS AFTER.
-- BERTOLT BRECHT, "THE THREEPENNY OPERA"
%
IF PRO IS THE OPPOSITE OF CON, WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF PROGRESS?
%
IF SOCIETY FITS YOU COMFORTABLY ENOUGH, YOU CALL IT FREEDOM.
-- ROBERT FROST
%
IF THE AMERICAN DREAM IS FOR AMERICANS ONLY, IT WILL REMAIN OUR DREAM
AND NEVER BE OUR DESTINY.
-- REN'E DE VISME WILLIAMSON
%
IF THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T TRUST THE PEOPLE, WHY DOESN'T IT DISSOLVE THEM
AND ELECT A NEW PEOPLE?
%
"IF THE KING'S ENGLISH WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!"
-- "MA" FERGUSON, GOVERNOR OF TEXAS (CIRCA 1920)
%
IF THE RICH COULD PAY THE POOR TO DIE FOR THEM, WHAT A LIVING THE POOR
COULD MAKE!
%
IF THEY WERE SO INCLINED, THEY COULD IMPEACH HIM BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE
HIS NECKTIE.
-- ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM SAXBE
%
IF VOTING COULD CHANGE THE SYSTEM, IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL. IF NOT VOTING
COULD CHANGE THE SYSTEM, IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
%
IF WE ALL WORK TOGETHER, WE CAN TOTALLY DISRUPT THE SYSTEM.
%
IF WE CAN EVER MAKE RED TAPE NUTRITIONAL, WE CAN FEED THE WORLD.
-- R. SCHAEBERLE, "MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTING"
%
IF WE SUFFER TAMELY A LAWLESS ATTACK UPON OUR LIBERTY, WE ENCOURAGE IT,
AND INVOLVE OTHERS IN OUR DOOM.
-- SAMUEL ADAMS
%
IF WE WON'T STAND TOGETHER, WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
%
IF YOU DON'T STRIKE OIL IN TWENTY MINUTES, STOP BORING.
-- ANDREW CARNEGIE, ON PUBLIC SPEAKING
%
"IF YOU EVER WANT TO GET ANYWHERE IN POLITICS, MY BOY, YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO GET A TOEHOLD IN THE PUBLIC EYE."
%
IF YOU GIVE CONGRESS A CHANCE TO VOTE ON BOTH SIDES OF AN ISSUE, IT
WILL ALWAYS DO IT.
-- LES ASPIN, D., WISCONSIN
%
IF YOU GO ON WITH THIS NUCLEAR ARMS RACE, ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS
MAKE THE RUBBLE BOUNCE.
-- WINSTON CHURCHILL
%
IF YOU LIVE IN A COUNTRY RUN BY COMMITTEE, BE ON THE COMMITTEE.
-- GRAHAM SUMMER
%
IF YOU MAKE ANY MONEY, THE GOVERNMENT SHOVES YOU IN THE CREEK ONCE A YEAR
WITH IT IN YOUR POCKETS, AND ALL THAT DON'T GET WET YOU CAN KEEP.
-- THE BEST OF WILL ROGERS
%
IF YOU TOOK ALL OF THE GRAINS OF SAND IN THE WORLD, AND LINED
THEM UP END TO END IN A ROW, YOU'D BE WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT!
-- MR. INTERESTING
%
IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR GOVERNMENT, DON'T BEGIN BY READING THE
CONSTITUTION. IT CONVEYS PRECIOUS LITTLE OF THE FLAVOR OF TODAY'S
STATECRAFT. INSTEAD, READ SELECTED PORTIONS OF THE WASHINGTON TELEPHONE
DIRECTORY CONTAINING LISTINGS FOR ALL THE ORGANImATIONS WITH TITLES
BEGINNING WITH THE WORD "NATIONAL."
-- GEORGE WILL
%
IF YOU WANTS TO GET ELECTED PRESIDENT, YOU'SE GOT TO THINK UP SOME
MEMORABOBLE HOMILY SO'S SCHOOL KIDS CAN BE PESTERED INTO MEMORImIN'
IT, EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
-- WALT KELLY, "THE POGO PARTY"
%
IF YOUR HANDS ARE CLEAN AND YOUR CAUSE IS JUST AND YOUR DEMANDS ARE
REASONABLE, AT LEAST IT'S A START.
%
ILLEGAL ALIENS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A PROBLEM IN THE UNITED STATES. ASK ANY INDIAN.
-- ROBERT ORBEN

IMMIGRATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY.
-- JACK PAAR
%
IMBALANCE OF POWER CORRUPTS AND MONOPOLY OF POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY.
-- GENJI
%
IMMIGRATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY.
-- JACK PAAR
%
IN AMERICA, ANY BOY MAY BECOME PRESIDENT AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S JUST ONE
OF THE RISKS HE TAKES.
-- ADLAI STEVENSON
%
IN AN ORDERLY WORLD, THERE'S ALWAYS A PLACE FOR THE DISORDERLY.
%
IN CASE OF ATOMIC ATTACK, THE FEDERAL RULING AGAINST PRAYER IN SCHOOLS
WILL BE TEMPORARILY CANCELED.
%
IN DEFEAT, UNBEATABLE; IN VICTORY, UNBEARABLE.
-- W. CHURCHILL, ON GENERAL MONTGOMERY
%
IN DR. JOHNSON'S FAMOUS DICTIONARY PATRIOTISM IS DEFINED AS THE LAST
RESORT OF THE SCOUNDREL. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO AN ENLIGHTENED BUT
INFERIOR LEXICOGRAPHER I BEG TO SUBMIT THAT IT IS THE FIRST.
-- AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%
IN FICTION THE RECOURSE OF THE POWERLESS IS MURDER; IN LIFE THE RECOURSE
OF THE POWERLESS IS PETTY THEFT.
%
IN GERMANY THEY FIRST CAME FOR THE COMMUNISTS AND I DIDN'T SPEAK UP BECAUSE
I WASN'T A COMMUNIST. THEN THEY CAME FOR THE JEWS, AND I DIDN'T SPEAK UP
BECAUSE I WASN'T A JEW. THEN THEY CAME FOR THE TRADE UNIONISTS, AND I
DIDN'T SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WASN'T A TRADE UNIONIST. THEN THEY CAME FOR THE
CATHOLICS, AND I DIDN'T SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WAS A PROTESTANT. THEN THEY CAME
FOR ME -- AND BY THAT TIME NO ONE WAS LEFT TO SPEAK UP.
-- PASTOR MARTIN NIEMOLLER
%
IN ITALY, FOR THIRTY YEARS UNDER THE BORGIAS, THEY HAD WARFARE, TERROR,
MURDER, AND BLOODSHED, BUT THEY PRODUCED MICHAELANGELO, LEONARDO DA VINCI
AND THE RENAISSANCE. IN SWITmERLAND, THEY HAD BROTHERLY LOVE, THEY HAD
FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OF DEMOCRACY AND PEACE -- AND WHAT DID THEY PRODUCE?
THE CUCKOO-CLOCK.
-- ORSON WELLES, "THE THIRD MAN"
%
IN OUR CIVILImATION, AND UNDER OUR REPUBLICAN FORM OF GOVERNMENT, INTELLIGENCE
IS SO HIGHLY HONORED THAT IT IS REWARDED BY EXEMPTION FROM THE CARES OF OFFICE.
-- AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%
IN PIERRE TRUDEAU, CANADA HAS FINALLY PRODUCED A PRIME MINISTER WORTHY OF
ASSASSINATION.
-- JOHN DIEFENBAKER
%
IN THE HALLS OF JUSTICE THE ONLY JUSTICE IS IN THE HALLS.
-- LENNY BRUCE
%
IN THOSE DAYS HE WAS WISER THAN HE IS NOW -- HE USED TO FREQUENTLY TAKE
MY ADVICE.
-- WINSTON CHURCHILL