reply to post by kawika
I hear ya, bro. My advice.
1. Get yourself laid off. This should be easy as we drop into the next recession. That will qualify you for two friggin' YEARS of unemployment. It's
not like the old days of 30 weeks plus a 9 week extension. It's a whopping 100 weeks, baby!
2. Be sure to check out your state's Medicaid program for health insurance. Being unemployed should qualify you easily.
3. Check out Section 8 housing. Of course, you'll have to live with the riff-raff, but hey! We'll all be riff raff before this is over.
4. Cook up a disability. If your back doesn't hurt, develop an acronym disease like ADHD or PTSD. Nobody knows what those mean anyway. Apply for
disability, but do it early because it sometimes takes awhile.
5. If you're female, get pregnant. This is easy, then expect the government to be your husband. Kick out the male in your life. Who needs 'em when
you've got a Sugar Daddy like Obama. You'll get welfare (Pick a blue state for better benefits) AFDC, and food stamps. Your take home pay will be
better than lots of chumps who are still stupid enough to have jobs.
6. Pretend to be "trying" by applying for Pell grants and go back to school. be sure not to take anything that would actually qualify you for a job,
like engineering or nursing. Those are too hard for stupid people anyway. Pick English or sociology. You don't really have to do anything to get
those degrees, plus they don't qualify you for anything. Don't worry about paying back the loans. Without a job you won't have to.
7. Get pregnant again. More babies means more bucks with no downside. You'll be able to teach them the "trade" so in your golden years you'll be
able to live off the welfare from your grandkids.
8. Apply for social security as soon as you can, i.e.: If you've worked for 40 quarters before you got inspired to join the dems. If you apply early
as opposed to late the break even point is at age 78 or so. You want to milk the system thoroughly before it dies.
9. Be sure to blame the Bankers and Big Oil for all your problems. Just keep quiet about Big Government. It's there to help you.
Apply these well-meaning concepts and you, too, can put your feet up and let someone else do the driving. It's the American Way! Of course sooner or
later you'll be running out of other people's money, but hopefully you'll be dead first.