You are asking for the input of others in a public forum. Therefore, I would like to precede my answer with the fact that this is my opinion, based
on my personal experience and faith. I'm making no claim that it is right or wrong, it is simply Truth for me.
Hopefully that little disclaimer will save me some grief from the roaming tribe of ATS religion forum trolls.
Having said that, I give you this encouragement: I think that you have been given discernment in regard to how you allowed any potential negative
entity access into your life. Which would have been through any participation-- regardless of it being infrequent, indirect, or otherwise-- in occult
You have been given discernment, which means He is speaking to you. Be encouraged by that tangible sign of His presence in your life.
From what I understand about how the unseen realm works-- especially in regard to those seeking the Kingdom of Almighty God, rather than conceding
subservience to the Enemy--, you are most likely and almost certainly not possessed.
What you are experiencing is called 'oppression'. When you have these feelings that are contrary to your nature as a follower of Christ, you are
literally being bombarded by negative spiritual entities. All of which, with one single, collective intent: for you to fail and fall into
wrongdoing. If a picture is worth a thousand words, I liken it to this:
You are literally one person against a line of negative spiritual linebackers, for lack of a more eloquent analogy.
One of the things you need to know, is that you have been forgiven. God heard you before you even asked, as He is the Alpha and Omega, knowing the
end from the beginning and the beginning from the end.
Whatever entities have been wreaking havoc in your life and creating discord in your relationships, including and especially your relationship with
Christ, are frantically trying to gain an additional foothold in your life. Your salvation and faith makes for them a very slippery grip, and they
are desperately trying to beat you down emotionally and spiritually to gain traction.
From what you've shared in your OP, I would call a few of these out in certainty: Shame and Rage. I sense your trust issues are based on simple life
experiences of your past, which are being exponentially magnified by these entities to keep you isolated.
I also have a fleeting sense that these trust issues may also include not trusting yourself, insomuch as living up to the assumed expectations of
others. This is somehow related to the issue of shame. Your mistrust of others in this regard, is based more so on your assumed expectations of how
they perceive you and your suspicion of being judged. The Enemy is using subtle insecurity to sow self-doubt and unjustified condemnation.
Once again, you have been forgiven.
Each morning before you even open your eyes, the righteousness we have adopted through Christ is upon you.
Each morning before you even open your eyes, the Enemy has already begun an all-out effort against it.
Our advantage is knowing that they are deceivers, and no Truth is found in them.
You have already chosen salvation. Now it's time to own it.
Vaya Con Dios, Muchacho
edit on 7-11-2012 by stupid girl because: (no reason given)