The Paranoid ATS Survivor [CTPWC]

I've got my bug out bag ready to go
I've stockpiled food (though I won't tell you so)
My barn is a fully stocked arsenal of death.

I've got iodine and radiation wear
Gas masks that are beyond compare
Even Geiger counters to tell me I can safely take a breath.

Earthquakes, hurricanes, even tsunamis
Have no fearful hold on me
For I'm prepared. A survivor (or some say terrorist).

Should the need arise, I'm good to go
Always prepared, that's my motto
And when the end comes, you better believe I'm going to resist.

I'll fight the good fight against any and all
FEMA, the Government, those held in thrall
I'll simply go Chuck Norris on their ass.

Don't believe me? That's to bad, my friend
I'll be sorry to watch your dismal end
But in 2012, guys like you will finish last.

So call me your names, like crazy paranoid
But I'm telling you, you'll never avoid
The apocalypse I know is definitely on its way.

How do I know? That's easy to tell
My friends at ATS described it well
Now excuse me. I've got several booby traps I need to lay.

That about sums it up!