reply to post by AthlonSavage
If accepting that a persons failings in life are mostly are due to their own doings of choices and actions, then what can they do to turn
around behavioural patterns which are harming their ability to succeed. In practical day life terms what can the individual do to change negative
behaviours into positive ones that yield mostly successful outcomes.
This is where i would like posters to contribute to the debate. How can a person turn their life around so to become successful and happy in life. I
will suggest as a starter learning time management skills and the link below will take you to a Time management map, which identifies all the key
attributes which make up a good system for time management.
Time management is an excellent "starter," if the person's problems are with organization and productivity. No question about that.
A person must examine all of their behavior patterns, and identify precisely how each pattern advances or regresses them in view of their long term
It's important -- critical, even -- to acknowledge how one's behavior results in consequences. In most cases, a person who is stuck in several
aspects of life (social, physical health, professional, practical) has grown into habits of using coping mechanisms that at one time served, but later
turn out to be unhelpful.
Part of it is circumstances beyond our "control" (the economy, or our location, for example -- not everyone can uproot and leave to start again
somewhere else), and frustration is bound to occur. Learning new ways of responding to external influences entails minute-by-minute, real-time
AWARENESS of what one is doing.
If your friend sees, for example, a woman who interests him, he might consider "why" she interests him. Are the reasons, the compelling qualities
the very same
qualities as those women with whom he experienced failed relationships?
Why is he attracted to those qualities, and what did he do, or put up with her doing
that caused the failures?
Blaming God is a cop-out; but luck does have something to do with our "success". Being in the right place at the right time, by coincidence (whether
really coincidence or not is another topic), can help a man make leaps toward his goals.
But first he must HAVE goals. One way to begin getting unstuck is to ask oneself to think about their future. "How do I picture my life in 5 years?"
Then, depending on the answer ('I think I'll be dead.' versus 'I'll have a kind spouse and one child' or 'I'll be the CEO of Microsoft,' for
examples) examine why
they think so, or want that. Next, ask "How do I WANT my life to be in 5 years? Ten years? Twenty years?" (It's
surprising how few people have answers to these questions - especially young adults.)
Identifying goals is first. Next comes examination of options (we ALL have options, every day), and a conscious application of each option. Will the
option chosen lead TO or AWAY from their goals? Has the option that seems most natural been tried before and failed? Does the person need to learn
different skills? Begin "acting"rather than "reacting"?
Nice thread!! Very important questions
edit on 4-11-2012 by wildtimes because: grammar and clarity