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posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 11:44 AM
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Thank God I'm not the only one who feels like this about smokes.

Mean, sin-taxes are pretty high and smokes just aren't as cheap as they use to be. Now days is a pretty expensive habit.

Everyone asks for one, and usually you feel you need to be polite, but it gets irritating after a while and your only option is to say NO!

Which the other person instantly feels indignant and wants to cause a fight or get in an argument.

Buy your own, I say.

Pfft, the fact that people would actually start a fight about something as trivial as that is absolutely disgusting.




posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 01:18 PM
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I don't agree with everyone saying why didn't you give him one cause like you said if you can't afford them then don't smoke but you did handle like a pompus idiot in my opinion. It would have been a lot easier to say it was your last one or you only have one left



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 01:38 PM
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ya should have punched him in the throat! that will put down the biggest guys,and you could have been an ass afterwards and tell him he shouldn't smoke 'cause his throat is too sore!!!
when a stranger askes me if i have an extra smoke(usually a teenager!) i always say' no i didn't get any extras,just the 25 that came in the pack!



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 01:58 PM
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Listen, everyone saying the OP came off as an asshole.

When you have no tolerance for ignorant people, you WILL come off that way. You will come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama and bullcrap. I. Do. It. All. The. Time.

I went to an all-black school in middle school, just a few years back. Those people (not black people, just the majority of people in that school and that neighborhood) are the same way. They will attack you over anything, and the next minute, they'll ask you if they can borrow a pencil like they're your best friend in the world.

If you comply, they begin asking you for more stuff, and they start stealing it. A couple of black girls once stole my backpack and trashed it... tore it to pieces. Destroyed it.

You HAVE to be cold with those kinds of people. You have to make it clear that you want nothing to do with them. Sometimes they will get physical. Hopefully, you can walk away from the situation like the OP did.

But, because of going to schools like that, I never go anywhere without my pretty little black pocket knife, which I sharpened to perfection. No one will take advantage of me ever again.

How can you all act like you're supposed to just stand there and take it when people treat you like trash?

Screw that.

OP, don't waver. I mean, be smart about it, but don't just give in and be buddy buddy with trash. They will take advantage. That's how trash is.



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 03:26 PM
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reply to post by Swizzy
 


I occasionally have people ask me for a smoke outside of convenience stores, sometimes I say no and sometimes im generous. Really just depends on my mood and if they look somewhat friendly.



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 03:48 PM
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Originally posted by Swizzy
Guy: OI OI BRUV (running towards me)
Me: I am not your brother.
Guy: Alright alright I just asked you a question (still being aggressive)
Me: You didn't ask me a question. You called me bruv and you supposedly asked me a question, which you didn't. (and I walked right past him. Trying to convey to him how I felt by being addressed as a BRUV.)
Guy: **** Calm down I just wanted a fag (cigarette) off ya mate.
Me: Sorry but if you want to smoke then go buy some cigarettes.
Guy: *********** (all profanity surprise surprise)


I'm sorry, but reading this, if anyone sounds aggressive it's you. I don't smoke but that's textbook passive aggression, it's rude to run up on strangers asking them for cigarettes or money but your responses make you sound like a real jack**s with unrecognised anger issues.

I was expecting to read a story of someone trying to fight you for refusing to give them a cigarette, but from reading your post in full I get the impression you were more keen for a fight than he was.

Are you completely oblivious to how a normal human being would perceive your responses as offensive at best, aggressive at worst?

Sounds to me like you're projecting, to be honest.

I've actually been beaten up for not giving people cigs before, so I can appreciate the suspicion and dislike of scroungers but really, honestly, you had it coming.

He was rude to call down a stranger like that, but you were the aggressor, there is no doubt about the fact you were the aggressor. Anybody doubting you were the aggressor is also passive aggressive and oblivious to their own hostile attitude. If anybody was looking for a fight, from the dialogue, it was you.

It doesn't sound like he wanted to fight over a cigarette, it sounds like he wanted to fight because you treated him with aggression and contempt.
edit on 4-11-2012 by GrandStrategy because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 04:16 PM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Listen, everyone saying the OP came off as an asshole.

When you have no tolerance for ignorant people, you WILL come off that way. You will come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama and bullcrap. I. Do. It. All. The. Time.


But the OP doesn't come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama, he comes off as someone who thrives on it, invites it and pleads for it. He wasn't trying to avoid drama, he was trying to start drama by being verbally aggressive and condescending. If he was a person that avoided drama he would say "No, sorry mate, this is practically my last one". His reaction, and your statements about what you would do, betray this notion of avoiding drama.


Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

How can you all act like you're supposed to just stand there and take it when people treat you like trash?


Nobody treated the OP like trash. Somebody asked for a cigarette. That's it.

Like the OP, you as well sound like you're the one who is itching for confrontation. You and the OP both sound like a classic case of the bullied becoming the bully.

The man was asked for a cigarette, nothing more. He wasn't approached by a thief, he wasn't disrespected by any real measure, he was simply asked for a cigarette. That is it.

I cannot believe that you all actually think that someone who asks for a cigarette deserves to be treated with such hostility and contempt. Normal people do not react in the way the OP did, or the way you say you would.

Do you and the OP have no self awareness whatsoever. Can't you grasp how hostile and aggressive you both seem to be?



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 05:02 PM
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reply to post by Swizzy
 


And the moral of the story is:

Smoking damages your health.



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 05:54 PM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Listen, everyone saying the OP came off as an asshole.

When you have no tolerance for ignorant people, you WILL come off that way. You will come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama and bullcrap. I. Do. It. All. The. Time.

I went to an all-black school in middle school, just a few years back. Those people (not black people, just the majority of people in that school and that neighborhood) are the same way. They will attack you over anything, and the next minute, they'll ask you if they can borrow a pencil like they're your best friend in the world.

If you comply, they begin asking you for more stuff, and they start stealing it. A couple of black girls once stole my backpack and trashed it... tore it to pieces. Destroyed it.

You HAVE to be cold with those kinds of people. You have to make it clear that you want nothing to do with them. Sometimes they will get physical. Hopefully, you can walk away from the situation like the OP did.

But, because of going to schools like that, I never go anywhere without my pretty little black pocket knife, which I sharpened to perfection. No one will take advantage of me ever again.

How can you all act like you're supposed to just stand there and take it when people treat you like trash?

Screw that.

OP, don't waver. I mean, be smart about it, but don't just give in and be buddy buddy with trash. They will take advantage. That's how trash is.


Im sorry but thats the problem. The first person who did something ignorant was the OP, is what I'm trying to say. How does running up to someone and asking for a cig or some gum make you an asshole? The OP could've just said "Sorry man, I got no smokes". Just look how it went down




Guy: OI OI BRUV (running towards me)
Me: I am not your brother.
Guy: Alright alright I just asked you a question (still being aggressive)
Me: You didn't ask me a question. You called me bruv and you supposedly asked me a question, which you didn't. (and I walked right past him. Trying to convey to him how I felt by being addressed as a BRUV.)


How is asking someone for a cig being aggressive? That's what I don't get. I would side with the OP if the guy came up and asked for cigs, OP said no, and the guy pushed him around roughed him up to try and get some cigs, but no. OP came off as cold because the guy "called him a bruv". How does someone get offended at that?




If you comply, they begin asking you for more stuff, and they start stealing it. A couple of black girls once stole my backpack and trashed it... tore it to pieces. Destroyed it.


What? All he asked for was 1 cigarette.. what the hell... OP Could have said no, guy walked away. Or OP said yes, and gave him 1 cigarette. End of story. It's a random guy on the street not a pesky co-worker or bully at school. I don't even

edit on 4-11-2012 by mr10k because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 01:24 AM
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reply to post by Swizzy
 


Quit, and you'll save money too.



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 01:28 AM
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reply to post by mr10k
 


The fighting, or the sparing of the cigarette?



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 03:54 AM
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reply to post by Swizzy
 


I am asked for a smoke three to five times every day. My response is now automatic: "I just bummed this one. Sorry."



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 03:59 AM
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What? All he asked for was 1 cigarette.. what the hell...
reply to post by mr10k
 


Yeah, HE asked for one cigarette, and then someone else will, and then someone else...

In a half hour (at 5:30 a.m.) I will walk one mile to work, and in that mile at least 2 people will try to bum a smoke off me. Then at least one person at work will ask. Two more on the way home, and one more will try to catch me sitting on the front porch in the evening. This is EVERY DAY! It really gets monotonous.



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 08:11 PM
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Sometimes its just better to give him a smoke. Unless you are running low lol.



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 08:11 PM
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Sometimes its just better to give him a smoke. Unless you are running low lol.



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 09:58 PM
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Originally posted by GrandStrategy

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Listen, everyone saying the OP came off as an asshole.

When you have no tolerance for ignorant people, you WILL come off that way. You will come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama and bullcrap. I. Do. It. All. The. Time.


But the OP doesn't come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama, he comes off as someone who thrives on it, invites it and pleads for it. He wasn't trying to avoid drama, he was trying to start drama by being verbally aggressive and condescending. If he was a person that avoided drama he would say "No, sorry mate, this is practically my last one". His reaction, and your statements about what you would do, betray this notion of avoiding drama.


Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

How can you all act like you're supposed to just stand there and take it when people treat you like trash?


Nobody treated the OP like trash. Somebody asked for a cigarette. That's it.

Like the OP, you as well sound like you're the one who is itching for confrontation. You and the OP both sound like a classic case of the bullied becoming the bully.

The man was asked for a cigarette, nothing more. He wasn't approached by a thief, he wasn't disrespected by any real measure, he was simply asked for a cigarette. That is it.

I cannot believe that you all actually think that someone who asks for a cigarette deserves to be treated with such hostility and contempt. Normal people do not react in the way the OP did, or the way you say you would.

Do you and the OP have no self awareness whatsoever. Can't you grasp how hostile and aggressive you both seem to be?


Yes, I understand how cold he came off. I understand that I have come off too cold sometimes, and I don't do it anymore. But the point is, someone overreacting isn't justifying it. So, just because he came off a little cold, that justifies it when the guy starts shoving him around and trying to start a fight? No.

Of course, you gotta learn how not to come off that way, that's what I did. Don't tell me I have no self awareness. I know VERY well how I come off to people, and I maintain it very well.

Still, it doesn't justify the guy's overreaction. That was my point.



posted on Dec, 3 2012 @ 10:04 PM
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Originally posted by mr10k

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Listen, everyone saying the OP came off as an asshole.

When you have no tolerance for ignorant people, you WILL come off that way. You will come off as someone who wants nothing to do with drama and bullcrap. I. Do. It. All. The. Time.

I went to an all-black school in middle school, just a few years back. Those people (not black people, just the majority of people in that school and that neighborhood) are the same way. They will attack you over anything, and the next minute, they'll ask you if they can borrow a pencil like they're your best friend in the world.

If you comply, they begin asking you for more stuff, and they start stealing it. A couple of black girls once stole my backpack and trashed it... tore it to pieces. Destroyed it.

You HAVE to be cold with those kinds of people. You have to make it clear that you want nothing to do with them. Sometimes they will get physical. Hopefully, you can walk away from the situation like the OP did.

But, because of going to schools like that, I never go anywhere without my pretty little black pocket knife, which I sharpened to perfection. No one will take advantage of me ever again.

How can you all act like you're supposed to just stand there and take it when people treat you like trash?

Screw that.

OP, don't waver. I mean, be smart about it, but don't just give in and be buddy buddy with trash. They will take advantage. That's how trash is.


Im sorry but thats the problem. The first person who did something ignorant was the OP, is what I'm trying to say. How does running up to someone and asking for a cig or some gum make you an asshole? The OP could've just said "Sorry man, I got no smokes". Just look how it went down




Guy: OI OI BRUV (running towards me)
Me: I am not your brother.
Guy: Alright alright I just asked you a question (still being aggressive)
Me: You didn't ask me a question. You called me bruv and you supposedly asked me a question, which you didn't. (and I walked right past him. Trying to convey to him how I felt by being addressed as a BRUV.)


How is asking someone for a cig being aggressive? That's what I don't get. I would side with the OP if the guy came up and asked for cigs, OP said no, and the guy pushed him around roughed him up to try and get some cigs, but no. OP came off as cold because the guy "called him a bruv". How does someone get offended at that?




If you comply, they begin asking you for more stuff, and they start stealing it. A couple of black girls once stole my backpack and trashed it... tore it to pieces. Destroyed it.


What? All he asked for was 1 cigarette.. what the hell... OP Could have said no, guy walked away. Or OP said yes, and gave him 1 cigarette. End of story. It's a random guy on the street not a pesky co-worker or bully at school. I don't even

edit on 4-11-2012 by mr10k because: (no reason given)


Maybe OP felt threatened. The reason I brought up the black girls from my middle school was because it was a similar situation. They constantly asked for my stuff, and they didn't usually let me answer them when they asked, they took it. When I didn't have what they needed, they were angry. Then, when I finally told them where they could stick it, they destroyed all my stuff.

That whole situation started the same way this cig situation started.

If the guy came off threatening, the OP responded coldly out of instinct. That's what I did.



posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 01:48 AM
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Whenever strangers have approached me for a smoke (usually at the downtown theater).
I typically smile, and give them two. I just said "here, have a couple"
One for now, and one for later, so they don't have to hit-up another person.
You'd be surprised at the looks I got, just for that small gesture. Very disarming.

I've never seen the point of being selfish about it. And I don't care how they flag me down, I can see it coming anyway, they "vector in" and you know that you're about to be asked " hey man, hey buddy, hey dude" whatever.



posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 01:53 AM
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We get hassled in front of our building for smokes. Do what we do, tell them it is your last one.



posted on Dec, 4 2012 @ 02:01 AM
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reply to post by nixie_nox
 


Now THAT's a different story. Same here outside my work. When i smoked out there I would always take only one with me. Just the one. MY answer to them then was, sorry dude I had to borrow THIS one. That was a little different, otherwise I'd lose quite a few per day. Every now and then, I would forget, and bring a whole pack that's when I'd give them two. I think it works out in the end.







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