Look at Me, I Want Your Attention!

Right let me start off by telling you that I am in a very reflective and self analytical period of my life. Well this is how it goes, I have realized that I like to make posts to get attention, I suppose that makes me an attention seeker. I get disheartened when I post things and I do not seem to get any conversation going. I suppose that makes me an attention seeker. Is that a bad thing if you keep it under check and are we all here really after a little bit of attention.

Maybe it all stems back to my childhood, maybe my parents didn't show me enough attention or maybe they showed me too much. We can blame a lot on our childhoods but in this case, I have to be open and honest with myself and you that I love the attention.

Does this make me a bad person, or can others admit to liking the attention too?

I'm sorry, did somebody say something?

reply to post by michael1983l


Being honest with yourself is the most important thing. Wanting attention does not make you a bad person

Originally posted by michael1983l
Right let me start off by telling you that I am in a very reflective and self analytical period of my life. Well this is how it goes, I have realized that I like to make posts to get attention, I suppose that makes me an attention seeker. I get disheartened when I post things and I do not seem to get any conversation going. I suppose that makes me an attention seeker. Is that a bad thing if you keep it under check and are we all here really after a little bit of attention.

Maybe it all stems back to my childhood, maybe my parents didn't show me enough attention or maybe they showed me too much. We can blame a lot on our childhoods but in this case, I have to be open and honest with myself and you that I love the attention.

Does this make me a bad person, or can others admit to liking the attention too?

You are being honest and i too like the attention especially the female kind lol.

Serious, i think we all do to some degree..

reply to post by michael1983l


Maybe you are just a person who likes interesting conversation, and are looking forward to having conversations with like minded individuals. There is nothing wrong with that.

I've made threads that didn't even get one single reply. It happens, don't worry about it.

I don't think being an attention seeker makes you a bad person. It makes you seem insecure, but that's just my opinion.

But as was already stated, having the ability to be honest with yourself is a very good quality.

reply to post by michael1983l


Ok...I'm here...now, say something to keep me here........waiting......waiting......waiting....

I have the attention span of a kitten in a yarn basket....hurry.....

Des

I must admit I do like to have a challenging and interesting debate. But I also think that many of us who post here do tend to do so to have their opinion centralized. I am probably a psychologists wet dream very insecure.

'Attention seeking' is quite a negative way to put it, I'd say. To me it's more 'wanting to be seen or noticed', which is, in my opinion a very basic need for everyone.
You do all sorts of things in life that leave an imprint on something or someone. This is a natural drive which enables progress and growth, eighter cognitavely or spritually, if you will. One needs recognition for the things one does. This can be either positive reinforcement or a more negative critique. Either way it gives you feedback on the path you are following and helps you make desicions on where to go next.

So, the term 'attention seeker', in my opinion, is a social stigma intigated by (some parts of) society. If, up to a point, you feel you 'deserve' the stigma, you will probably become more and more precautious on expressing yourself. My advice would be not to let that happen, because it will probably cause you to stop dead in your tracks.

I acknowledge that there are people who are 'true' attention seekers; people who have developped this kind of behaviour as a surviving mechanism. People who truely can't live without the approval (or disapproval) of others. One could consider that a kind of disorder.

So is it natural? I think so, if not overdone.

Ow, and a little added advice: Don't blame your youth or parents. Just acknowldge it, because blaming a personal characteristic on something out of your control, will indeed leave it there, out your control. Taking responsability for it and actively trying to overcome it yourself is the key for betterment.

My two cents!

Where did you go OP.......crickets.....


Des

reply to post by Destinyone


I have not gone anywhere, just thinking. Maybe I am just speechless right now

Originally posted by michael1983l
reply to post by Destinyone

 

I have not gone anywhere, just thinking. Maybe I am just speechless right now

Well...it's kinda like you put up a big old bill board, inviting everyone to your house for a BBQ, but you forgot to go shopping...know what I mean.....

Des

I don't get many replies on things. I don't even care. I am not very good at this but am attempting to learn. I am better at starting conversations with people in public than on line. If I go out in public I spend too much money though so you guys are stuck with me. Practicing for retirement so we never run out of money or need to get a loan for things is hard. I was used to spending others money all the time in my type of work as a builder. Changing spending habits was like going through withdrawal.

reply to post by michael1983l


Well atleast you admit it. And from the looks of it atleast people reply to what you are talking about.
I don't crave attention or want it, but to be able to post then have some reply to your post is always fun. It just seems latly when i post to a thread, i either get over looked completly or i came in to late in the game, and the thread is dead.

So i gave you about 20secs of attention, that is about the max of my attention span....

*runs off chasing imginary rabbits*

reply to post by michael1983l


You know what this means don't you? ...dun dun daaaaaa! .......You're normal.

Everything is unfolding perfectly, smile, and carry on dear chap. Posting what you did in your O.P. shows this isn't a problem that will be a negative in the long run.

Your want for the response to your imput is completely understandable and may be to confirm that what you think, write and say is following sensible tracks. 'Conformation' and 'acceptance' so to speak. On ATS, it's often the case that people respond to gain attention and that's just how it is. If they don't resond to you, maybe they feel they would get little or nothing in return. Not a reflection of you or your online personality but a reflection of how sites like this work and the others that share it.

Don't let it get to you too much and kudos for the honesty.

cheers

reply to post by michael1983l

Relating to what i said earlier, i did start a music thread and being at work as security in a
porta - cabin i use a usb dongle stick as a means of getting on the internet. The thread i made and
songs i looked for throughout all them pages cost me about £25 .. pay as you go top up voucher
from the store, however it wasn't the money that i cared about i did genuinley wan't to hear peoples
favourite songs on that occasion and i starred everyone as stars didn't cost nothing lmao.

I like to give people attention too ...


I didn't like you all that much when i arrived but as time went by i grew to love you
all as part of a family who i care alot about my two english pounds worth.. there that makes £27
lmao.....

When you americans had that storm it got me kinda thinking and worried tbh...

P.S am i looking for attention on this post....not at all it sometimes takes a thread and events
to wanna sit back and realize that the world doesn't evolve round me and that i am not the
only person on this planet with problems per se...

Peace to all...

reply to post by denver22



Hey hun,

I very much appreciated your thoughtfulness during the storm as you were trying hard to contact me.....

I think its part of nature to want some attention, but it takes a very introspective person to reflect on their behavior....
I think intent is eveything, if you intend to post to inform or uplift spirits people will see it, but if its for selfish motives...you'll be called out for it as ATS'rs are a no nonsense bunch....

Originally posted by kat2684
reply to post by denver22

 

Hey hun,

I very much appreciated your thoughtfulness during the storm as you were trying hard to contact me.....

I think its part of nature to want some attention, but it takes a very introspective person to reflect on their behavior....
I think intent is eveything, if you intend to post to inform or uplift spirits people will see it, but if its for selfish motives...you'll be called out for it as ATS'rs are a no nonsense bunch....

I posted my feelings on the thread and gave support and asked for news on the area
I was touched when you sent your email with your last bit of battery life saying you were safe.

releived too. I didn't sleep for a few days on top of 17hr shifts at work and posted that England
was concerned for you guys over there too which was true albeit most of us etc.

Moral of me posting your email was to show people to keep up their spirits ..
Not for attention of stars etc but to show people and some people it lifted them..

It is actually quite amazing how a community type spirit can exist almost exclusively in the digital format with no physical interaction whatsoever. It proves that humans will try and forge positive and sometimes negative relationships despite physical boundaries and barriers.

Its not anything horrible OP.. Laying down indictments like "insecure" etc isnt always correct, so dont assume youare because someone on a msg board diagnosed you after 1 paragraph outlining your experience. Im sure thats the case sometimes.. but everyone is really different in their life experience. Your upbringing and exposures within your family unit and socially mold you.. like everyone else, so one size fits all "diagnosis" are foolish. Take me... I was an only child and had some talents... its not insecurity, but an expectation that Im the only "one" in a social or family setting.Know what I mean? When these things get in your head.. they are hard to put into a proper perspective or get out. Im much older now and have worked on ego issues and things for many yrs.. but its still there. Im happy to see your introspection. You are on a good road to succeed personally and socially when you can recognize your all too human and common flaws.