My teenage daughter

Im a single dad. I wont go through the details, unless you ask but my son has been with me for the past 12 years.
My ex has legal custody of my daughter and she lived with her, primarily until around age 12.
At about that time, she started to ask to live with us but she would only do it for about a year, then go back to her moms.
Anyway.. Shes been really getting bitchy lately, so I gave in a bit and allowed her to have something that I was apposed to but something that she wanted.
Now, anything that she wants and I dont let her do, she cries for, literally 3 hours and texts her mom and her friends about how mean I am.
Her mom and I really dont talk that much now and my mom is biased against my daughter in favor of my son.
I love her to death but damn, idk what the hell to do.

Having a daughter at that age has to be rough, no offense or anything, I grew up with two sisters.

You need to be firm, you have to let her know there are boundaries and that she is still just a child. Why do you care if her mom (your ex) or her teenage friends think you are mean? You're a parent, you'll be made to look this way at some point, regardless. Teenage girls are extremely hormonal (boys are too!) and they're going to be over dramatic, blow the tiniest things out of proportion, and put it all on you. You have to get passed it, you need to stand firm, otherwise her whole teenage years are going to ruin you.

Good luck!

Originally posted by Juggernog
Im a single dad. I wont go through the details, unless you ask but my son has been with me for the past 12 years.
My ex has legal custody of my daughter and she lived with her, primarily until around age 12.
At about that time, she started to ask to live with us but she would only do it for about a year, then go back to her moms.
Anyway.. Shes been really getting bitchy lately, so I gave in a bit and allowed her to have something that I was apposed to but something that she wanted.
Now, anything that she wants and I dont let her do, she cries for, literally 3 hours and texts her mom and her friends about how mean I am.
Her mom and I really dont talk that much now and my mom is biased against my daughter in favor of my son.
I love her to death but damn, idk what the hell to do.

teenagers
one day she will know that you were giving her good father advices
divorced parent with a child .. the mothers usualy say a lot of stuff against the father
so yes she can have biased thoughs from the other side but dont take it personal

what did she asked that you were opposed ? a piercing lol ?

i offer you a reading for her
that might explain her strange behavior
if you want to try it .. click on AstraBenQology
and i will see what i can do

thats the best i can offer you

If by telling her she can not do this or that for a good reason, You are doing the right thing, She is just going through a phase many other teenagers go through... Just give her a good old humble lecture how hard other people have it.

reply to post by QUANTUMGR4V17Y


Hard to explain but my son and i had a calm relationship, he was and still is a calm and rational person.
On the other hand my daughter is sooo emotional and erratic, shes also a pretty girl so she gets plenty attention from the boys when we go to the store or w/e... Something that kinda sorta irritates me

reply to post by Ben81

what did she asked that you were opposed ? a piercing lol ?

Yes, bellybutton piercing and a freaking lipring. which I approved of.

Originally posted by Juggernog
reply to post by Ben81

 

what did she asked that you were opposed ? a piercing lol ?

Yes, bellybutton piercing and a freaking lipring. which I approved of.

she must have been really convincing to let you approve it lol
for me to approve that .. would be sure she have "A" everywhere in school
for a tatoo .. i would need A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ everywhere
even in the religion class
oh wait that was 20 yrs ago .. school dont give religion class anymore ahah
to bad

Ok, heres what prompted this post.
Tonight, she wanted to go to some thing downtown, with a 17 year old girl, that ive only met 3 times and have determined that she cant drive worth a damn.
I didnt think it was a good idea and she proceeded to throw up the excuses that I never let her do anything and she literally cried for about 3 hours.. nothing i could say or do would stop it, she even told me that she hated me.

reply to post by Juggernog


She should be thankful you let her do what you did. I got a lip ring when I was younger and my father hated it, when I said I couldn't take it out because it was surgical steel, he handed me plyers and said figure it out. Lol.
She should thank you for what you do let her do, and soon she will understand why you don't let her do other things. Teenage girls are at that emotional age, it gets really tough. But know if you give her anything when she cries, she will use that against you to get what she wants. When she cries and bitches to the mom, hopefully she'll see what she's doing and that's shes just unhappy she's not getting her way. One day your daughter will thank you for everything, and apologize for how she's acting..right now she just doesn't see it.
P.S. Give those boys the 'I'm daddy, back the hell off look'..It might help

reply to post by Juggernog


Yep- she is at 'that' stage. Don't give in, or be a push over. Its for the better for her to stand your ground. She doesn't hate YOU, she hates not getting her way. Maybe she cries and gets her way at her moms? Or she's just being a teenage girl. If you thought it was safe I'm sure you'd let her go. Go with your daddy instincts and stand your ground.

reply to post by Katharos62191

One day your daughter will thank you for everything, and apologize for how she's acting..right now she just doesn't see it.

Yea, I know. Shes just so emotional right now.. sometimes its pretty hard to deal with and im kinda stubborn myself, so we "clash" on occasion

One day your daughter will thank you for everything, and apologize for how she's acting..right now she just doesn't see it.

Mine is 13 too...very testy and of course a product of parenting.I usually get loud and throw a tantrum before I get my way...

reply to post by Katharos62191

She should be thankful you let her do what you did. I got a lip ring when I was younger and my father hated it, when I said I couldn't take it out because it was surgical steel, he handed me plyers and said figure it out. Lol.

Yea, I didnt like it when I saw it but realized that she put it in when I wasnt around so one day I told her that I'd rather be who she wanted to be instead of hiding from me.
Was hoping it would "bridge" our relationship and it did for a bit but now shes started to push it and honestly, its pissing me off

Originally posted by Juggernog
Ok, heres what prompted this post.
Tonight, she wanted to go to some thing downtown, with a 17 year old girl, that ive only met 3 times and have determined that she cant drive worth a damn.
I didnt think it was a good idea and she proceeded to throw up the excuses that I never let her do anything and she literally cried for about 3 hours.. nothing i could say or do would stop it, she even told me that she hated me.

at this point .. call her mother explain her exactly that
if she approve .. then it will be also her responsability if something happens to her
both need to approve in that situation

has for this 17 yrs old friend girl ..i would need to see her again for this night
and ask her if her parent approve this and the place they go tonight (even talk to the parent)
how old is your daughter again ?

you always need to set up ground rules first and note the adress of where they are going
and make her call you at least 2 times

young teenagers are really really naive .. especially young girls
i would be so pissed off and ashame of myself if something happens to my kids
when they are less then 18 even less then 21 yrs old
after that i will give them a bit more of space if they have earned it .. mature enough

reply to post by Juggernog


That is her what I would call 'pushing it' and 'crossing the line.' It should piss you off, because it's wrong. Every young girl starts to learn the ways she can 'use' and get her way,(sadly its in female nature)unfortunately some women take it with them until they are older and never change. Teach her the lines and what is right now or it will only get worse. If only she knew how good she really had it, she would be different. I honestly have the utmost respect for parents who bring up teenage girls, it has got to be one of the hardest things to do let alone tolerate. Don't worry about the clashing or butting heads, it's only natural in family. From experience, I was spoiled, and acted the way you described at times, it was horrible and if my parents had never been tough on me or taught me I cant always have my way, I'd be someone completely different today. I am thankful now that they told me 'No' and didn't give me everything I wanted, because hell, I'd be a brat! She will push and shove and kick and scream and cry, but in the end it's for the better.

reply to post by Juggernog


I should have already added this..
GOOD LUCK with all of this
(you will need it, teenage girls are a breed of their own:lol

reply to post by Ben81


[edit]at this point .. call her mother explain her exactly that
if she approve .. then it will be also her responsability if something happens to her
both need to approve in that situation

has for this 17 yrs old friend girl ..i would need to see her first
and ask her if her parent approve this and the place they go tonight
how old is your daughter again ?[/edit]

I dont really talk to her mom anymore.
This 17 yr girl is a step sister of her friend that is here almost every day but i really dont like the 17 yr old, ive seen her exactly 4 times and shes dumb as a box of rocks, seriously... you can ask her annnnything and shell "ummmm" for 5 minutes
My daughter just turned 15, about 1 month ago.

Originally posted by SarnholeOntarable

One day your daughter will thank you for everything, and apologize for how she's acting..right now she just doesn't see it.

Mine is 13 too...very testy and of course a product of parenting.I usually get loud and throw a tantrum before I get my way.

..

Haha, I wonder where she gets it
13, eh? It'll only be like 5-6 years until she thanks/apologizes and wises up hopefully. Lol

reply to post by Juggernog


Then make sure you know where she is going
note every bit of info on the location
make sure she understand to call you 2-3 times
and if she doesnt call you or answer her phone ..
it will be the last night you give her that kind of permission to go out
tell her that you were so worried for her that somebody kidnapped her
that you were gonna call the cops to find her and put her face on national TV
she will never disobey you again .. thats 100% sure ahah

yes i know im like a big Poppa Bear

Give her some space at certain times of the month. Make sure she knows she is more than a pretty face. Give her some chores so she feels she is a valuable member of the family and has earned any gifts you may buy for her. Girls make eye contact when they talk about personal stuff unlike boys who prefer to talk while playing basketball or changing the oil in the car. Girls are not asking you to fix their problems as much as they need you to listen. Ask them questions about the issue that may lead them to a solution. Never undermine her feelings by telling her she shouln't feel that way but it is ok to tell her she isn't being fair to you because it is you job to keep her safe as it is your job to make sure she is fed and clothed. Explain to her why grinding on the dance floor is demeaning as is wearing clothes suited for a prostitute. Show her pictures of classy women vs trashy women and ask her what kind of person does she want to be, the one who is only good for one night or the one a man would want to marry.
fathers teach their daughters how to be a woman so if you accept the half naked look all people will see is a sex object.