Heightosexism

So you've heard about heterosexism, which is the idea that it is prejudicial and unjustified to regard male and female relationships as the norm.

Since such an idea proves so persuasive for people, let me introduce the concept of heightosexism, which is the perpetuation of another unjustified prejudice to regard men as taller than women.

I am sick and tired of seeing men in TV and in movies being presented as taller than women. It is heightosexist to the extreme! Just because men are on average taller than women, and, likewise, on average, men and female make up a normal relationship, doesn't mean it isn't inherently prejudicial and unjustified!

I'm a short man. 5'7. I would for once like to see in a movie a 5'9 or 5'10 women paired with a man who is shorter. And I don't want her perpetuating this prejudice by insisting on the man wearing lifts. It is irrelevant how she feels. Since when is how we 'feel' about something valid!? It's not valid that people feel men should mate with women, so likewise, it isn't valid for women to feel the need to be shorter than men.

Anybody else agree?

reply to post by dontreally


Watch the Big Bang Theory. Penny is taller than Leonard

Tired of Control Freaks

reply to post by TiredofControlFreaks


ahh, touche.

but that does not suffice.

Gays represents a mere 3% of the population, but represent a whopping 8-10% of CNN news anchors. They have TV shows, modern family, couples etc.

The heterosexist problem is being challenged through manipulative propaganda. Time to do the same thing with heightosexism. We need more than the big bang theory. We need more than Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni!

Wasn't Betty taller then barny? . I don't know, not really sure I care. I'm 5'6 and hubby is 5,7, so really no noticeable difference. I've never thought or said to him "gees your short" lol.

So you have'nt seen a Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman movie???

Like the song says.." Short people got, no reason...." Randy Newman...

5' 7" is not short anyway....all tall people were 5' 7", at least once in their lives.....

Sibling and I both married 4 inchers the 'not-so-common-way' differences.

Better yet, a friend of mine from decades back - the man was roughly 4'8" and the wife was a GOOD 6'6" if not more.

Sometimes, we Mutt 'n' Jeff couples are comical.

reply to post by dontreally


I agree! For my entire dating life... I only dated guys taller than me. Go figure that "the one" ends up being an inch shorter than me. I almost didn't date him in the beginning. Solely because of his height. How ridiculous is that? Now, I don't even notice the difference and it doesn't bother me what so ever.

mate, tom cruise is 5ft... scott caan, daniel radcliffe, elijah wood, mark wahlberg, seth green, ben stiller, dustin hoffman, al pacino, and robert de niro stands at 5'8...

I mean... heres a couple for the ego mate it didnt stop them!

EDIT: dare I mention... JOE PESCI? (Runs away at the sight of a baseball bat...)

Well, the way I understand heterosexism is that it makes opposite sex coupling superior to any other way of being.

Heterosexist attitudes are not necessarily homophobic, and can be held by both gay or straight people, or any variety of people.

Heterosexist attitudes can become harmful in extreme forms, such as the "corrective rape" of lesbians, where straight men rape a lesbian woman with the false belief that this will make her heterosexual (a significant problem in SA).

One form of heterosexism is the belief by straight men that they can control women and gay minorities with violence, and that one can beat and violate people out of certain behaviors not wanted by patriarchy, and therefore one is doing gay men and women a favor by abusing them.

Gay men may also be assaulted or cajoled into a heterosexual marriage, because this is considered superior to being gay or celibate.

It's actually a terrible thing in practice.

A bit like one tribe chopping off the legs of another tribe to make them shorter, because they think being shorter is better.
Ultimately that's a Rwanda-type genocidal situation.

Height doesn't matter to me. I am fairly average height for a female and have dater guys shorter, taller and same height as me. However, I have found that for the guys that were the same height or shorter than me, they really had a problem with it. I have had a guy tell me that he wished I was shorter because it made him to self conscious.It actually became such a huge issue with him that he ended up breaking it off.
I have realized most guys seem to prefer girls who are shorter and it made me very glad I am not on the taller side.

Definitely an interesting topic.

You need to be comfortable in your own body. I know the media shows us what we are supposed to look like, but as long as you be yourself, people will see that and respect you for that.

Sometimes people will make fun of me for my skinny arms, like telling me I need to work out etc. But to be honest sometimes my arms were the only ones to be able to wriggle into hard to reach places to retrieve things, such as behind dry erase boards and such. You just gotta work with what you got and try not to be something you are not.

Just my drunken ramblings.

Short men can fix it, wear platforms :p
Tall woman are just SOL unless they can find a basketball player or something

Haha! I'll drink to that then! Cheers!
I'm 5'7, and my husband is too. I have always been comfortable with a man who is the same size as me.
Problem is, when I wear heels, I am taller. People tended to compare my husband and I with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman all the time, we almost went into a crisis of our own when we found out they were divorcing.


But I went out with much smaller men. I really love shorter men because they usually have shorter more shapely muscles, which I find sexy.

Unfortunately when characterizing a "norm" or generalization, it is the majority that determines it, and as you say, men are more often taller than women. But see, that leaves some room for the individualist personalities to step out of the norm proudly!

But I get that must suck for those who just want to fit in inconspicuously but happen to be outside the norm. (whether were talking size, color, or sexuality)

Hubby never seemed to have a problem with it (he found having a taller wife almost a status symbol in society), two nights ago we were at a party and ALL the men there turned out to be exceptionally tall. He whipsered to me that he felt tiny and didn't like it. But I suspect that might also be because they were a group who were also exceptionally wealthy, and successful to boot.

I think for him, that is what bothers him. Maybe he is more materialistic than most, but in skits and movies, the struggling salesmen are always short, and the successful business men are always tall, and that, he feels, is unfair and not the norm.

(come to think about it, all those guys except one were also blond and blue eyed, which tends to go along with the successful businessman stereotype too)