It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


Cat's Cradle [CTPWC]

page: 1

log in


posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 07:09 PM
Playing Cat's Cradle like you don't feel like it - tell me what you think when you finally catch me!

I'm heading down, to climb on the big-pipe. Swing my hands high, cause we're heading for a stick-up! Fight-it-fight-it-fight-it, snapping my gum. Chewing on dandelions taste like the sun. Roll down the hill and jump in the leaf pile, hair full of sticks but I just-don't-care.

I'm getting moving to the top of the sand pile. Do it all again, all-again-right-now!

You'll be happy if you have some pancakes. Hop out of bed now, rise-and-shine. Let's go to the park and swing on the swing-set, you know you wanna go, wanna go now.

C'mon get up, why dontcha get-on-up now?
What do you mean that you can't come play?
Don't you wanna, wanna go with me?
I'll be Shazam and you can be Isis - Wonder Twins activate, that's what I want!

How about the tire swing, going to the tire swing, going on going on, let's go now! Why won't you come on, come ON let's GO! Let's GO NOW Mom, let's go now...

Why can't she go Dad? She don't wanna stay here.
I know she wants to GO, wants to go Home! Why are you sad now? I don't understand, Dad, why does Mommy have to stay, have to stay here?

posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 09:25 PM
reply to post by gwynnhwyfar

Thanks for sharing that, It seems you needed to get that out.

I miss my mom too. Flagged.

posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 09:51 PM
reply to post by Druid42

Thanks Druid,

This was actually inspired by my close friend's sister who died of breast cancer, not long ago, but I wasn't able to make it work, until I changed the focus to be the Mom in my poem. I am very sorry for your loss... Big hugs from me...

Take Care,

Actually, looking at it again, the things I resolved were more to do with the cadence, so maybe it will work now. I will see if I can change it to reference Sister instead of Mom. Most of it is very childlike, so it may work now that I worked out the other problem - giving a try now... Please forgive my edits, folks...
edit on 2-11201211-1212 by gwynnhwyfar because: See explanation above.

posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 10:02 PM
reply to post by gwynnhwyfar

Darn! Too late, I exceeded the time limit to edit it.

This is why I love proof reading and feedback. I think my poem would have worked better, in the end, if I had made the references to a sibling instead of a parent (since that is what actually inspired it, and I think poetry is best inspired by truth). Oh well, live and learn. The beauty of practice and the joy of a safe forum in which to write and receive feedback is a precious thing.

Love you all!


new topics

top topics

log in