posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 03:25 AM
Most fantasize about a 'simpler' time or have dreamed of it. Whether it be living in the old frontier days, colonial America, or ancient Europe. The
notion that it was a simpler time couldn't be farther from fact. Most of the items were made by hands, your hands. The house you lived in was
probably constructed by you and your nearest friends/family. You made most of your furniture. The women sewed fabric together to create clothing. The
men hunted and usually did all the heavy labor items. The families were huge to make light work of the labor intensive tasks. The children also died
easily due to disease and/or injury so many offspring would ensure your bloodline survival.
When people dream of living in the past they don’t really dream of living in a simpler time, but living in a time when they felt needed and
appreciated. When a woman makes a meal for her family back then, it was a special occasion. One couldn't just head to the local burger king and grab
a number one combo. Cooking a meal usually involved hours of prep work and cooking time (try making your own butter or preserving a hog leg in brine
or canning veggies). When a woman now makes a meal, she is usually under-appreciated due to the fact that anyone can easily go out and grab a meal –
so the home cooked item isn't special any-longer. When a man came home from a long, hard day working in the fields and bringing trapped animals home
for foodstuff, it too was a special occasion. With out the manual labor in the fields and the trapped animals for meat you wouldn't have be able to
Now – when a man comes home from a day of work he brings home a paycheck, but now women also bring home a paycheck so the man being the provider
isn't a special occasion (many females often bring home more money than the male, causing an emasculating effect in the male family role).
The work/help of the children around the house was needed and appreciated back then. If it weren't for the children, the chickens probably wouldn't
get fed. They collected the milk from the milk cow. The girls helped their mother with laundry. The boys helped mend fences, check traps, repair the
roof, even hunt. The children had a huge roll in the family and they knew it. They saw the end result of their work and how it helps the family. They
had a huge sense of belonging. Now – children barely do manual labor chores. The chores they do have low impact on family survival. They don’t
have a sense of belonging, only a sense of knowing it all (if they had to hunt, mend fences, do laundry by hand, feed chickens, learn how to create
clothes, learn how to effectively hunt/trap they would never have the feeling of knowing it all, because they could see they didn't). Children
now-a-days can easily know it all – all they have to do is get a job, pay their bills, buy food, etc. They have little respect for the family
because they don’t feel connected to it.
Possible ways to bring about this sense of family without a time machine:
Family business. Mother and Father can each have specific roles. The children can help where it is needed. Never allow the children to do less than
the hired help or it may alienate them from the family business. Never give the children huge allowances that are not equal to their duties, they will
get greedy and unappreciative (you have to take into consideration their part of the bills too, let them value hard work and helping the family to
survive). Do not save for their college education, let them save for it (for instance, if they helped the business before they could legally work, put
their ‘pay’ towards their savings fund – not college fund). Make them pay for their own items from their savings fund. This should allow them to
see that they are needed and that money is something you earn, not are entitled to. Once they are done with 12th grade and have reached 18 years of
age, promote them in the family business. If they chose to head to college, let them. Do not support them financially while they are in college –
they should have saved for it. If they chose to stay at home and attend college, working in the family business is a must to pay room and board. The
eldest son should always get a chance to run the family business.
Family farm. One can do similar roles that one would have long ago. Same rule, never allow the children to do less work than the paid help. Do not
give them an allowance that is not equal to their work minus room and board. Keep roles based on sex. Eldest son given the chance to take over the
farm when needed, but with the mother and father of the eldest son staying in the main house.
More current way of bringing a sense of family. If possible – father figure goes to work and brings home the money. Father figure budgets the money.
He also goes to the grocery store to bring home the foodstuff. Father also tends to projects around the house – roof repair, plumbing, painting.
Mother figure – prepares meals, does laundry, clean the house, and looks after the children. Children, once they are old enough, assist the mother
with laundry and house cleaning. Once they boys are able, they tend to the yard and pets. Once the children are old enough, they get jobs to help pay
the bills. They also need to assist with previous duties. The incomes are pooled and the father figure still does the budget. The children have little
say over their paychecks. They work to help provide for the family and an aging father and mother. The eldest son should be given the right to the
house as long as the mother and father stay in the house. All incomes should be pooled and the eldest son taking over the father figure role. If the
other children decide to remain in the house (after completion of school and 18 years of age) they need to provide rent and pay their part of the
bills to include food.
Discipline and structure should always be maintained.
Maybe it's just me, but from the way things are going now - old school is probably the best school...