I'm sorry little man [CTPWC]

I'm sorry little man
How could I have known
Things wouldn't go as planned

You slipped right through our hands
Like tiny grains of sand
And 'til the day I die
I'll never understand

Eight months in your mother's womb
And everything was fine
But in the final hour
We couldn't get to you in time

We were so excited to
Expand our family
Sprout two more branches
On our family tree

Now instead of four kids at home
All I have is three
And everytime I close my eyes
Your face is what I see

Your mom and I are hurting and
It pains our hearts to know
You have twin sister here with us
Who'll never see you laugh or grow

I want to hold you in my arms
And kiss your little hands
But I know I never will
I'm sorry little man

reply to post by imawlinn


I have no words.

That was beautiful.

This is my second favorite submission. Beautifully written. Few things cause me to feel emotion like this, but this story is definitely one of them. S+F.

s&f

reply to post by imawlinn


My tears honor your Little Man...beautiful...S&F

Des

reply to post by imawlinn



Heartbreakingly beautiful, so much love yet sorrow in just a few words. Many hugs to you and your family xx

I felt the helplessness of the father in your poem. A woman has the bonding experience of carrying the baby in her womb, and a man doesn't have that physical experience.I felt the father's desperation to finally meet his baby boy, nurture and teach him as he grows. And yeah, this made me tear up, too.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I wrote this six years ago as part of my healing process. I'm glad it's being received well. I tear up every time I read it. Takes me back to that night..

I loved your story a few months ago when I read it then and I still love it.

S&F and I wish you good luck.

reply to post by DaphneApollo


Yes I remember Daphne, thank you again... This is the story Daphne spoke of: Link

Originally posted by imawlinn
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I wrote this six years ago as part of my healing process. I'm glad it's being received well. I tear up every time I read it. Takes me back to that night..

Beautifully written.
I teared up trying to put myself in your shoes while thinking of my own two grown children.

S & F

I enjoyed reading that good job.

Off topic but what is CTPWC I tried a google search and couldn't find out what it is?

reply to post by PrestonSpace


Thank you! And CTPWC stands for Cold Tracks Poetry writing contest. Every couple months ATS has a new writing contest. Look here

reply to post by imawlinn


Wow. Just wow. Epically beautiful.

S&F.

S&F
Thank you for sharing this, I can relate somewhat and feel for you as well as your family.
thanks again
Quad

Loss of this nature some cannot understand so thanks for your sharing of a tragic event to help others understand.

I can feel your soul through this poem.

Life is sometimes so sad beyond belief but know in the end you will know him again.

reply to post by imawlinn


You made a grown man cry.

SnF

Thanks for sharing.

A sad story and well told, only thing is, it seems like a junior high school student wrote it...sorry but as poetry and word smithing goes the writing could use a bit more expanded vocabulary in my opinion, and the rhyming scheme is amateurish at best. Almost as though it came straight out of a bad greeting card. Just my two cents....and completely constructive criticism to be sure. SnF and good luck!

reply to post by AutOmatIc


Harsh bro, I never claimed to be a writer. And btw the creative constructive criticism thread was closed by the mods.