The Stillborn Child [CTPWC]

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posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:03 PM
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The Stillborn Child

These words will make you feel
What it is, only you can know
They will not divulge into grade school
Rhythmic rhyming rhetoric
Like so many before,
And too many to come,
Spewing forth unintelligent regurgitated
Beginners banter...rather,
They will peel the mask from your face
And the shallow person's shade

Lost in chaos,
Pale semblance when you
Aren't inspiring
You are the one behind the fair weather and foul
You tremulous distorted form
More vast shadows at the threshold
Gaudy shapes engulf
Apoplectic tides fickle with disbelief

Prodigious lovely monster
Queen of the nether
Skittering in the tall orbits of ether
And stars honeycomb your molecules
Transfixed solitude, drugged
A dazzle of vacuity
On bloodthirsty cackles
Immense assault hoped for

On your chalky face
Your dirt-caked mouth exhales
Mortal midnight sun
Her soul is dry
There are no more sages
Where her perfumes once sang
Where lashes fluttered
I'll speak of dead leaves woven
Unseen hands pattern the false forest
Pitter and patter of tiny hands
A blood-soaked gurney
Returned to origin
The stillborn child.

AutOmatIc-12
edit on 1-11-2012 by AutOmatIc because: stillborn




posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:12 PM
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reply to post by AutOmatIc
 

Great poem! This has many levels to this, and I am getting my own personal meaning from this.. As I am sure it may differ from the direct meaning you had when writing this.

Outside of the contest, If you would like to modify this, and put in a chorus. This would be great lyrics for a song!
I could hear a track playing behind these words. Star-n-flag from me! in show of my support to this well written poem.
edit on 1-11-2012 by zysin5 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:18 PM
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Originally posted by zysin5
reply to post by AutOmatIc
 

Great poem! This has many levels to this, and I am getting my own personal meaning from this.. As I am sure it may differ from the direct meaning you had when writing this.

Outside of the contest, If you would like to modify this, and put in a chorus. This would be great lyrics for a song!
I could hear a track playing behind these words. Star from me! in show of my support to this well written poem.


Thanks so much! It was extremely difficult to put into words a tragic experience that forever changed my life. And putting some of the words to song I hadn't thought about before, nice idea thanks! And good luck in the contest.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:40 PM
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A well deserved S&F from me.


Very moving, and heartbreaking.

You know a poem is good when you read it several times, even though you grasp it's meaning the first time.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:44 PM
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Very moving poem! I much enjoyed it.
And I am sorry about your loss.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:47 PM
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reply to post by AutOmatIc
 


Your welcome! And likewise!

If you want, you can send me a U2, and I would be happy to help you turn this into a song, outside the contest. As I am a musician, and its what I do. When I see something that I feel would be a good song, I do the music and credit the lyrics to the person who wrote it.(being you.)
Plus, it would be your choice of music type. From classical, rock, R&B, alternative, newage, punk. Whatever your favorite type of music is, I would do my best to honor that and honor whom you wrote about.
I write so much music, that I run out of good lyrics.
I have plenty of my own lyrics, but they only speak from my point of view, and my exp.
Its nice to have outside influence that helps evolve my music creations.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 04:12 PM
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Very emotional and moving. Thank you for sharing your Soul....

Des



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 06:21 PM
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The title alone made me wonder, so I flagged it before I read. I just knew it would be deep.

That's the thing about excellent prose, you can read it several times, and each time, you get something new from it. So many different meanings thrown together, so I must say you did well getting that out.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 06:51 PM
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Nicely written

S & F

Good luck



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 06:55 PM
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@isyeye

Thanks so much, and yea it was tough for me to even go there, but sometimes I feel my best inspiration comes from my worst pains.

@resoe26

Thank you, and indeed though it has been almost 17 years now, not a moment goes by that I don't think about it, and writing about it does help for sure.

@Destinyone

No problem, it does help to sooth when I write no doubt.

@Druid42

Thanks, and glad you were able to get something from it...sometimes we stare blankly at words on our screens without really, truly giving them a second thought...I always try my best to convey with words what emotion washes over my being, and if someone else out there in digital net land feels something, then I am moved as well.

@SLAYER69

Many thanks!
edit on 1-11-2012 by AutOmatIc because: one more



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:59 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 10:07 PM
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Originally posted by cultureboxes

 


off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 





Was wondering if you had a chance to finish reading and thoughts if any? (not sure why you post was deemed off topic as it was about the poem...sorta) cheers!



posted on Nov, 3 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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reply to post by AutOmatIc
 


S&F that was profound in feeling portrayed.



posted on Nov, 3 2012 @ 10:57 PM
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Originally posted by Egyptia
reply to post by AutOmatIc
 


S&F that was profound in feeling portrayed.


Thanks so much!



posted on Nov, 3 2012 @ 11:24 PM
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reply to post by AutOmatIc
 
AutO, as I said before, I am not a poet. In the past I haven't read much poetry either.
That being said.
You have helped me grow with this piece. I thank you for sharing it.
Quad



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 01:01 AM
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Originally posted by Quadrivium
reply to post by AutOmatIc
 
AutO, as I said before, I am not a poet. In the past I haven't read much poetry either.
That being said.
You have helped me grow with this piece. I thank you for sharing it.
Quad



Thanks so much for your kind words! I've always been into poetry since I was a kid, but my greatest influence was when I lived in Manhattan, and used to go every Thursday to the Bowery Poetry Club. There were so many amazing and talented people I met, and some of their writings and spoken word used to humble me and light such a creative fire in me...ah I miss those days. Thanks again and keep writing!





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